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User Topic: A bit of fun - code for NC comms with your X
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, January 24th (Thursday)

Some recent posts have made me think of what we DO say in NC vs what we want to say. I find NC a struggle because I want to unleash hell but I'm getting better.

Here are a few of mine.

Noted = fuck you. I didn't need to know that.

Yes = fuck you. I can't believe you're asking such a dumb favour of me. I'm saying yes because it is for my girls. You seriously can't buy your own damn crocs for them?

Thank you = fuck you. I'm grateful you're not being a fuckwit for a nanosecond.

I ask you to reconsider = fuck you, I'm co-parenting with a fucking muppet. and not one of the important ones, a lower muppet.

Confirmed = fuck you. I hate dealing with you.

Agreed = fuck you. I suggested that a month ago.

Please <insert request to do something for the girls, usually when they're sick> = fuck you. They should be with me because you are an imcompetent baboon. Should have been involved in your family for the last 5 years and maybe you'd have a clue.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5554 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Coraline
Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, January 24th (Thursday)

Best, funniest thing I've read all week. I'm literally laughing out loud. Thank you.


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
myheadreallyhurt
Member
Member # 36424
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, January 24th (Thursday)

Oh but sadly too true.


"See that no one repays another evil with evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another"

Posts: 133 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
debbysbaby
Member
Member # 32962
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, January 24th (Thursday)

Soooooo true!


-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

Posts: 866 | Registered: Aug 2011
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, January 24th (Thursday)


It's so true, though! Every word I type to my moron is absolutely laced with 'fuck you.' (see any one of my vents.)

Sometimes I do wish that I could just go off on him but then it would be such a wasted effort. If I'm going to string together a good vent, I want people to appreciate it, dammit!!!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4619 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Catwoman
Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, January 24th (Thursday)

That doesn't work for me=fuck you--you can't make me, so go fuck yourself.

Please send the documentation for that=fuck you--I don't trust a word you say and even if you told me the sky was blue and the grass was green, I would check.

No=no. If you have a problem with understanding that, ask your Mommy because obviously this lesson didn't take.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29610 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
wontdefineme
Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, January 24th (Thursday)

Too bad NC wasn't as funny or easy when they first blow our lives up. Too bad for them that they only really blew up their own lives and liberated us!

Silence = fuck you
Divorce = fuck you
NC after divorce = ultimate fuck you


Posts: 2172 | Registered: Mar 2011
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, January 24th (Thursday)

fuck you, I'm co-parenting with a fucking muppet. and not one of the important ones, a lower muppet.

*snort!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5808 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, January 24th (Thursday)

This made me laugh out loud.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8677 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, January 24th (Thursday)

a lower muppet.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
wannabenormal
Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 10:51 PM, January 24th (Thursday)

Good day! = I'm done with this exchange because you're so fucking irritating and hard headed, it's not worth pursuing the argument. I know I will say something I'll regret - so I'll 'good day' it. I say it in my head very curtly, like GOOD DAY!

I'm sure he 'gets' that. Ha ha! He probably reads it as - she still wants me.

[This message edited by wannabenormal at 10:53 PM, January 24th (Thursday)]



Posts: 14350 | Registered: Jun 2008
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, January 24th (Thursday)

K = I got your message. I'm not ignoring you (just to combat any accusations of *not* communicating), but you are not worth the effort of adding an *o*.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8001 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
wannabenormal
Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, January 24th (Thursday)

K's my new one too - you've been acknowledged, be dismissed!



Posts: 14350 | Registered: Jun 2008
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 12:26 AM, January 25th (Friday)

I love you guys!! I have a huge smile on my face and I am cracking up!! Thank you!! We need comedy relief once in while with all the shit we deal with!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2191 | Registered: Oct 2012
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 4:42 AM, January 25th (Friday)

Strong - you're now immortalized on the quote thread.

My ribs hurt.


Posts: 6572 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
GreatRoleModel
Member
Member # 36809
Default  Posted: 4:54 AM, January 25th (Friday)


These are great! What a great way to start my day reading this post. It was like you all were reading my mind when I read the crap he sends me. Thank you all!

[This message edited by GreatRoleModel at 4:55 AM, January 25th (Friday)]


BS (me)
XWS (him) NPD
DIVORCED!!!
It takes a village to deal with the village idiot!

Posts: 331 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: NC
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 5:51 AM, January 25th (Friday)

"lower muppet"

Day made. Thanks, SBB!


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25292 | Registered: Aug 2011
CharlieFoxtrot
Member
Member # 38010
Default  Posted: 6:36 AM, January 25th (Friday)

Hahahahaha!! I love it, and I literally spit coffee on this one!!

Strong, you made my day!!


Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Posts: 505 | Registered: Jan 2013
PurpleRose
Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 7:04 AM, January 25th (Friday)

Ohhh this is awesome. I love it!

And I'm adding "K" to my repertoire because he constantly sends dumbass texts that don't require responding, but then I'm accused of not being a co-parent !!!!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3580 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
LS_Betrayed
Member
Member # 33697
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, January 25th (Friday)

Best, funniest thing I've read all week. I'm literally laughing out loud. Thank you.

OMG me too! It is like you sucked the thoughts right out of my brain!!!


Me (BS) - 49
WS - 51
Daughters 18, 13 and 12
Married 24 years, currently divorcing-- not soon enough

Posts: 5018 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: New England
Heal&Deal
Member
Member # 30910
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, January 25th (Friday)

This is so funny! I have some to add:

That's interesting = Shut the fuck up.

Probably so = Who cares how you think it will turn out? No I don't fucking agree with you.

It will be interesting to see how that works out for you = What a stupid idea, fuckwit.


Posts: 914 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: USA
Lola2kids
Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, January 25th (Friday)

My favorite right at the moment is:
Yep = FUCK OFF!!!

He uses "K" with me and it drives me nuts so I guess it would work the other way.

"Fine" = why the hell do you care how me or the kids are when you haven't called them in a week? is also a good one.

My responses are usually kept to one or 2 words.

[This message edited by Lola2kids at 12:57 PM, January 25th (Friday)]


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved to Europe June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1386 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
Hopeful Lady
Member
Member # 30441
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, January 25th (Friday)

This is welcome comic relief!

If you like = I don't give a damn what you think

Sure = fuck you and stop talking to me

I'll figure it out = why the hell don't you figure it out on your own

I'm fine = What took me so long? I've felt much better since I stopped giving a damn about you or our M


Posts: 112 | Registered: Dec 2010
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, January 25th (Friday)

I went back through the last 200 texts with Stretch to see if I could find a good one to share.

I am VERY PROUD of the fact that a handful of them were from the children using my phone to contact their dad. And that 200 texts (the limit of storage per contact) went back to JULY.

So many of his questions had NO response from me...

So crickets = Fuck you. I don't have to answer your stupid questions. Not my job to organize your time, manage your world or be polite just because you feel like it... today... You are not even worth a single keystroke...


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5808 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, January 25th (Friday)

oops! double post.

still laughing at "lower muppet"

[This message edited by caregiver9000 at 1:59 PM, January 25th (Friday)]


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5808 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, January 25th (Friday)

Slight t/j

I just want to hear StrongButBroken say these in her native accent.

End t/j

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21049 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, January 25th (Friday)

LOWER MUPPET!!!!!

I like `copy` myself.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17389 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
GreatRoleModel
Member
Member # 36809
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, January 25th (Friday)

I use this one all the time Hopeful Lady and that is exactly what I really want to tell him

Sure = fuck you and stop talking to me

[This message edited by GreatRoleModel at 2:33 PM, January 25th (Friday)]


BS (me)
XWS (him) NPD
DIVORCED!!!
It takes a village to deal with the village idiot!

Posts: 331 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: NC
Lost and Betraye
Member
Member # 33988
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, January 25th (Friday)

Just made my week!


Me=BS 50; Him=WS 46; Dday 11/10/11
Married 13 years; together 20
Kids: DD11;(2) grown boys/men from my previous marriage to a WS
Status: Divorcing

"The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post" L Thomas Holdcroft


Posts: 317 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: CA
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, January 25th (Friday)

It will be interesting to see how that works out for you = What a stupid idea, fuckwit


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8001 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
LS_Betrayed
Member
Member # 33697
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, January 25th (Friday)

I will arrange it = of course I will you incompetent fu^&tard... clearly you still cannot function as an adult


Me (BS) - 49
WS - 51
Daughters 18, 13 and 12
Married 24 years, currently divorcing-- not soon enough

Posts: 5018 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: New England
Beowulf
New Member
Member # 38128
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, January 25th (Friday)

I have to add this one with a little back ground. XW used my credit card after we seperated, I had no knowledge off it, and let it go to collections.

I tried to let you take care of this person-to-person but now I'll see you in court = I am about to put you through the same shit grinder you put me through, and your luber's wife will get to watch you sweat it out in court and gloat over you getting "KARMAIZED"!! Yea the OM's Wife told me when the A started. Two for the price of one. P.S. you do realize we are appering before the same judge that married us?


The best revenge is living well.

Posts: 35 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Texas
hoya96
Member
Member # 28851
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, January 25th (Friday)

This is so awesome. I can't stop laughing, as several of these I use for the "business-like communication" required in co-parenting...but the explanations are EXACTLY what I'm thinking.


Me: 40 and fabulous!
3 children ages 10, 12 and 14
Ex said he wanted separation 2/14/10
DDay #1: 5/23/10 18 month affair with his 22 yr old paralegal
DDay #2 9/22/10 my best friend, now his wife
Divorced: 12/10/10
Re-married a wonderful man.

Posts: 325 | Registered: Jun 2010
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, January 25th (Friday)

Oh... my... god. Thank you all so much for the laughs.

I will bookmark this thread whenever I waver on NC. We could build an NC code book!


If I'm going to string together a good vent, I want people to appreciate it, dammit!!!
@tesla, I love and appreciate your vents!


Too bad NC wasn't as funny or easy when they first blow our lives up.
@wontdefineme, too true. Humour is a great leap towards indifference. In time "Noted" will just mean I've noted it.


I just want to hear StrongButBroken say these in her native accent.
@ajsmom, I sometimes forget you guys talk funny.


No=no. If you have a problem with understanding that, ask your Mommy because obviously this lesson didn't take.
@Cat,


Sure = fuck you and stop talking to me.
@HopefulLady, YES!!


you've been acknowledged, be dismissed!
@Wannabe, Love it! Be dismissed!!


@jjct, WOOWHOO!!!

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 11:16 PM, January 25th (Friday)]


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5554 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
wouldbewhere
Member
Member # 38221
Default  Posted: 1:46 AM, January 26th (Saturday)

After receiving the D court papers, my WS asks, "do I need to get my own Attorney".My reply, "That might be good = "No SHIT Sherlock"


ME-51
STBXWH-SOB-44 A W/Ho-Worker
Married 16 1/2 yrs
DD 9/29/2012 Left 9/29/2012
Filled 10/14/2012
We all meet our maker. When my file is opened to be read, before I cross the pearly gates. I'm sure glad it won't say "I cheated on

Posts: 148 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: The West Coast
Hopeful Lady
Member
Member # 30441
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, February 5th (Tuesday)

Closing eyes in response to a comment = rolling eyes

Posts: 112 | Registered: Dec 2010
bitchboots
Member
Member # 38051
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, February 5th (Tuesday)

How in the hell do you come up with these things?!

Excellent!!!!


Me: BS
DDay 4/27/2012---3 weeks after our 10 year anniversary.
Second DDay--1/2/2013--R is over

~~~~Finding my moxie~~~~
"May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground"...FUN


Posts: 333 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Dallas
bitchboots
Member
Member # 38051
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, February 5th (Tuesday)

How in the hell do you come up with these things?!

Excellent!!!!


Me: BS
DDay 4/27/2012---3 weeks after our 10 year anniversary.
Second DDay--1/2/2013--R is over

~~~~Finding my moxie~~~~
"May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground"...FUN


Posts: 333 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Dallas
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 6:33 AM, February 6th (Wednesday)

@ajsmom, I sometimes forget you guys talk funny.

Convo in an Aussie shop:

Store clerk after I responded to her asking if I needed help: You have an accent!
Me: You have an accent.
Clerk: No I don't, you do.
Then Clerk: what is your accent? Talk some more so I can figure out how you say things. You guys have the best accents- my favorite one. But I have a hard time telling yours from Canadian.
Me: Everyone in the US likes to hear her accent.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2328 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 6:36 AM, February 6th (Wednesday)

Tried to edit or finish it but my phone won't let me!! I guess it wants to go to bed.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2328 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, February 6th (Wednesday)

"have a nice day!"

He HATES it when I put that at the end of an e-mail or phone call. He knows I don't mean it but how do you respond in a bad way to that?


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
MyReturn2Me
Member
Member # 34352
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, February 6th (Wednesday)

Have a nice day = Fuck off and die


Me: BS 51 and Freaking AWESOME!
Him: Who the fuck cares........

Posts: 259 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Puget Sound
CharlieFoxtrot
Member
Member # 38010
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, February 6th (Wednesday)

Sure, I'll get right on that~ fuck you, wait for it
I agree~ fuck you, I told you that 3 months ago
Take care~ fuck off


Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Posts: 505 | Registered: Jan 2013
hurtyetstrong
Member
Member # 38372
Default  Posted: 11:51 PM, February 7th (Thursday)

I sooooooo needed this post today. thanks for the laugh!

haven't confronted WH or filed papers yet, but I soooo have a feeling I'll be using all your lines and thinking the exact same thing!


Me: BW (30)
Him: WH (31)
2 DDs - 4yrs & 18mo (as of May 2014)

multiple PAs

Filed for divorce May 16, 2014


Posts: 156 | Registered: Feb 2013
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, March 11th (Monday)

I am bumping my own thread because it and the replies STILL crack me up.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5554 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, March 11th (Monday)

And Thank You for that, SBB!!


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8001 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Lotsoflove
Member
Member # 36761
Default  Posted: 2:12 AM, March 12th (Tuesday)

Lol can't believe I missed this before...so glad you bumped it!


Me: BS (34)
Him: exWH (36) SA NPD
Married 12 years 4 awesome kids

D-day 1 1/08
D-day 2 1/09
False recovery for 3 years
D-day 3 9/2011 kicked him out!!!
2 LTAs multiple EAs

Divorced oct 2013!!!!


Posts: 54 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: CA
TrustGone
Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, March 12th (Tuesday)

Here are a few I want to say to XWH#1:

Yes, I will meet you halfway:
You are the fuckturd that moved an hour away after making sure in court I couldn't move asshole. You don't work and still live off your parents at 55 yrs old. Grow the fuck up!!!

I am glad you have such a good relationship with our DS: You are the lowest of low. Yes it would be nice to play Disney Mom, but I have to work 12 hours a day to pay for a house, food, insurance, etc...You have done nothing but tell our DS lies and make him hate me you lowlife asshole. I hope your dick falls off limpy, not that anyone wants you now that you are fat and your teeth are falling out and you no longer have my $$$ to wine and dine them or a decent car to drive. Yes that is what happens when you try and play house with an 18yr old.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
chikastuff
Member
Member # 35288
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, March 12th (Tuesday)

This is probably one of my favorite threads on SI.


Me- 32
Happily engaged and moving on

Posts: 382 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: New England
Heartless Bytchh
Member
Member # 12347
Cool  Posted: 1:10 PM, March 14th (Thursday)

To me, the ultimate Fuck You is total NC. Haven't seen rat bastard fucktard since our son's H.S. graduation two years ago. (he brought Both skanks...then dodged out early because of the rose ceremony and it wasn't all about him)

FucktardsRus,much?


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6063 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
Dadtryingtocope
Member
Member # 36726
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, March 14th (Thursday)

Almost all my positive responses are:

Yup =

A. F-off and die you selfish, lying, cheating, gold digging skank

B. You will never have a better man than I, ever, so be prepared to be treated like the shit you are

C. Your undesirable (fill in your favorite p-word to complete) will continue to rot and stink all over town. How does it feel to go everywhere and have people talk about you as you pass by? Guess you're getting all the attention you ever wanted.


BH me 46
WW her 38
DDay 8-17-12
2 kids (12, 9)
Filed for D 9/14/12
Divorced 4/17/13
She - engaged 5/13 married 9/13

Posts: 510 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: PA
CharlieFoxtrot
Member
Member # 38010
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, April 18th (Thursday)

*bump* because this thread is just fun, an I think some newbies to D/S would enjoy it~


Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Posts: 505 | Registered: Jan 2013
ImNellNow
Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, April 18th (Thursday)

Would you please let me know ASAP if... =
Remember that question I asked about the kids two weeks ago? Would you please just say "no" already?

No problem =
I assumed you wouldn't come through, so I already made other arrangements for our kids.

Thanks! =
I have been shoving wood splinters up the XWH voodoo doll's behind since I read your last insufferable, unnecessary e-monologue. Do you have hemorrhoids yet?


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, April 18th (Thursday)

Ahh, this thread is fabulous!


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2231 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Dadtryingtocope
Member
Member # 36726
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, April 18th (Thursday)

I have now resorted to acronyms that she could guess at but it could be a number of answers. I write it on my monthly check to make me feel good.

So for example:

YAAGCB = You are a greedy crazy bitch

You get the idea. I can pretty much put whatever I want. She can't decipher any of it for sure. It makes me feel good and chuckle because she knows it's not something nice, she just doesn't know what it says. Each month I change it up.

Oh I should of prefaced it by saying she hates being called any kind of name. Even when we were married if I said just "bitch" she could fly off the handle. Not that I said it more than maybe a few times in 15 years. But she had a very short fuse on name calling. So this is my little bit of fun and torment. I'm so bad.


BH me 46
WW her 38
DDay 8-17-12
2 kids (12, 9)
Filed for D 9/14/12
Divorced 4/17/13
She - engaged 5/13 married 9/13

Posts: 510 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: PA
Luvlyla
Member
Member # 38692
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, April 18th (Thursday)

Brilliant thread!!

I'm no good at it though, i couldn't resist ending a very tense conversation about DD with:

"its been great talking with you" = fuck you and don't call me unless you've something concrete to actually say.


When he's your Romeo,
and you're not his Juliet,
it means you are Rosaline
- and you survive the play.

Posts: 202 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: UK
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, April 18th (Thursday)

This thread is awesome, and just the type of humor I need right now! Thank you!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1089 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
meaniemouse
Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, April 19th (Friday)

I'll think about it. = No fucking way; I'd rather poke out my own eyeballs.

Of course. = No fucking way; you're an even bigger dumbshit than I thought for even asking me.

Whatever works. = No fucking way; there is nothing that you can do or say that will ever again work for me. If that ever changes I have someone on call that will hit me in the head with a hammer.


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2110 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:25 AM, April 19th (Friday)

I write it on my monthly check to make me feel good.

She can't decipher any of it for sure. It makes me feel good and chuckle because she knows it's not something nice, she just doesn't know what it says. Each month I change it up


O.M.G!!!! THAT is some funny shit!!!


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8001 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, April 20th (Saturday)

I told him I was not vacating (i.e., PC for go fuck yourself)

I have to contribute this one from Phoenix1's recent thread....


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8001 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, April 20th (Saturday)

Thank you, I like this.

I have some facial expressions my DD told me I do if in the presence of STBXH and I realize it may be similar to the FU list here.

He will still give me opinions about anything under the sun and I find myself just staring at him without a thing to say! DD said my eyebrows actually go together and I frown, but my mind is thinking, "Disgusting Pervert!" all the while his mouth is blabbing.

And now is so strange because he is so boring!!!!


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2229 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, April 20th (Saturday)

My XWH texted me and said he was going to take the kids away from me. I was so relieved to just not respond, but next time I will say,

It will be interesting to see how that works out for you!!!

LOVE IT!!! NC feels so good.

I have decided not only am I NC, but I am making it a point that he NEVER gets to see me. He creeps me out!

anyway, back on topic:

K = You stupid mfer, how can you be so f-ing stupid to think she really wants U!! Its your $$ and what u can do for her that she is interested in. DUH U DUMB ASS!

He texted me he wanted our older son to bring the younger one's bookbag to his house to study. I replied: We are not your employees nor your gophers. = You stupid POS dumbass get your fat ass off couch and get it yourself. I CAN NOW SAY AND DO WHATEVER I WANT BECAUSE YOU ARE GONE GONE GONE . yay


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2112 | Registered: Jan 2012
fencerider
Member
Member # 18090
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, April 20th (Saturday)

Priceless.... Freakin priceless!! Lol


Me: 46
WH: 46
son 1: 16
son 2: 14
married 16 years
IDLY: 08/07/07
H admits affair in dribs and drabs, full diclosure 11/20/07
Affair since 11/15/06. False R every 10 days for over a year... (my bad for staying on the coaster.)
Divorced 04/27

Posts: 208 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: CT
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, April 21st (Sunday)

YAAGCB = You are a greedy crazy bitch

I told him I was not vacating (i.e., PC for go fuck yourself)

Oh stop.

Nah - don't!

These are hilarious!!


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5554 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
musiclover
Member
Member # 23172
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, April 28th (Sunday)

I don't know how I stumbled on this thread, but this is me when I communicate with my XWW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q421kNZ83BI

Posts: 1422 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Ontario
MissD
Member
Member # 39377
Funny  Posted: 11:18 PM, June 1st (Saturday)

*Bump*

I printed 180 and decided I need to add to it the sayings from this thread.


Posts: 70 | Registered: May 2013
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 1:20 AM, June 2nd (Sunday)

After receiving the D court papers, my WS asks, "do I need to get my own Attorney". My reply, "That might be good = "No SHIT Sherlock"

I thought my STBX POS was the only one dumb enough to ask that


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2231 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, June 2nd (Sunday)

I'll be happy to send you that information again = I've already given you this info but because you are a stupid, lazy, moronic fucktard, I will be happy to send it to you with a veiled sarcastic comment so you really know just how stupid you've just made yourself look...


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1089 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Hopeful Lady
Member
Member # 30441
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

Maybe you should put it in your calendar= grow up! I'm not your damn secretary so keep track of your own damn schedule.

Posts: 112 | Registered: Dec 2010
Topic Posts: 69