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The Book Club
User Topic: Good codependency books?
isthis4real
Member
Member # 29698
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, January 25th (Friday)

Can anyone please recommend a good book(s) about being codependent and gives good advice on how not to be?


Me BW 30
WH 37
Married 4 years
DD 3
(2) DSS 15 & 18

D-day 9/3/10
Kicked him out 9/26/10 for fence sitting
WH served with divorce papers 10/4/10 at his place of employment

No chance of R.
Rebuilding and looking forward to a brig


Posts: 116 | Registered: Sep 2010
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, January 25th (Friday)

Melody Beattie has a new codependent book out titled - the New Co-Dependent No More.

I like The Secret of Letting Go too.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.


Posts: 5253 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, January 26th (Saturday)

Codependent No More
The New Codependent
both by Melody Beattie

Boundaires
by Cloud & Townsend

ETA: Codependency has deep roots into childhood. If you have the ability to get some IC and explore your FOO, you will have better luck at shedding codependency.

[This message edited by Nature_Girl at 8:09 PM, January 26th (Saturday)]


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9821 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
seekingright2013
Member
Member # 37991
Default  Posted: 8:49 AM, February 16th (Saturday)

I second the motion of anything by Melody Beattie.

My personal favorite is "Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'd Change" by Robin Norwood.

This book has helped me SO much. My exWSO was not an addict but was passive-aggressive. Like any book (or forum), take what helps and leave the rest. I found about 75-80% applied to me and my situation.

What I found the most helpful was the chapter on how to recover !! Excellent. Step-by-step instructions.

In a nutshell: focus on YOU. YOU can't change anyone else. Put all the energy that you have been throwing away on someone else, on an unhealthy relationship, back into YOU.

Actually kind of reminds me of the 180!

Hope this helps. Bibliotherapy has really helped me. And IC too.


BSO, 53
exWSO, who cares
DD: 11/18/12
DD2: 11/21/12
Kicked him to the curb 11/21/12
I tramp a perpetual journey.
― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

Posts: 118 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Red State SE US
cp1962
New Member
Member # 38346
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, February 28th (Thursday)

I am just beginning IC (only 2 sessions so far) and my therapist recommended Co-dependent No More. It is amazing how much I can identify. I pull all my energy into


ME-BW 50
HIM-WH 51
DDAY #1 01/09/2013
DDAY #2 02/03/2013
Divorced 10/23/2013

Posts: 40 | Registered: Feb 2013
cp1962
New Member
Member # 38346
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, February 28th (Thursday)

I am just beginning IC (only 2 sessions so far) and my therapist recommended Co-dependent No More. It is amazing how I can identify.

[This message edited by cp1962 at 12:56 PM, February 28th (Thursday)]


ME-BW 50
HIM-WH 51
DDAY #1 01/09/2013
DDAY #2 02/03/2013
Divorced 10/23/2013

Posts: 40 | Registered: Feb 2013
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:24 AM, April 7th (Sunday)

bumping for Lauren


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37999 | Registered: Sep 2007
summerain
Member
Member # 37439
Default  Posted: 12:21 AM, April 8th (Monday)

Thanks authenticnow


OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 8