User Topic: OW wants to be my FB friend??
Member # 34288
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

Hi SI family,
I can't even remember the last time I posted divorce has been final since last fall and we sold the house 1/31/ is mostly good..but I still have bad days and "what the hell happened?" moments and right now I need the kind of support that only my SI friends who have been through this living hell can offer... could read my profile but long story short, EX is living with OW and has been since 12/11. Our kids are in college so no "co-arenting " involved really... I have never met her, contacted her , driven past her house or given her any attention whatsoever. If I bumped into her on the street I would not even know her.

Out of the clear blue sky I get a "friend request" from her...(yes I know her name and some basics, that's it)...

REALLY??? On what planet does she think I would ever want to be friends with her??? Can anyone give me their thoughts as to why, after a year and a half into this nightmare, she decides to ask me to be her FB friend???

I rejected the request...even though a small part of me was dying of curiousity...the whore doesn't even have a picture, it's just a silouette(so I still have no clue what she looks like), and she has a whole "6" friends on Facebook hahaha... none of them have anything in ENGLISH on their pages - seems she's straight off the boat from Poland..oh wait, my ex mother in law is her friend...and this is the same woman who told my children last summer that they will no longer come up from Florida to visit because "she doesn't approve of the situation"....REALLY???

My boys still refuse to meet her and ex mother in law is on their case about it now...tells them "she's really a nice person"...WTF??

So, just wondering if anyone out there has run into this and what I should make of it...thanks for listening:)

Dday: 8/22/11
Divorce final: 10/6/12 - my 22nd wedding anniversary
Married: 21 years, together 23 years
BS: 51
WS: 47
2 awesome sons, ages 19 & 20

Posts: 198 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: PA
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

Two words: batshit crazy.

Don't even think about her anymore. You can't understand crazy!

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

Posts: 3400 | Registered: Dec 2011
Fooled Me Twice
Member # 34824
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

I have no idea why she would ask to be friends with you - but seriously - fuck that bitch!

(I'd be tempted to friend her for a minute to look through her pics etc, copy what, if anything I wanted and then block her whore bag ass. But that's just me.)

ME: BS 33 (now 34)
HIM: WS 33 (now 35)
OW: 22, howorker (now 24)
July 2007: Porn found on computer along with profiles on dating websites.
DDay: January 16, 2012 - suspicious since Dec 2011
Divorced: June 11, 2013

Posts: 209 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Here and There
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

Um...weird. No, make that batshit crazy like phmh said.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

(I'd be tempted to friend her for a minute to look through her pics etc, copy what, if anything I wanted and then block her whore bag ass. But that's just me.)

We think alike. I'd not do it, of course. But I'd be very tempted.

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9810 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 34677
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

Probably just being ballsy like the former OW in my scenario.

She sent a Facebook friend request to my BROTHER with her profile pic showing herself with my (then) husband. That means she had to stalk him out of my friends since that part is public. I blocked her once I found that out.

She also followed me on Pinterest.

These OW are jealous of us in some fashion.

Crickets. These women do not exist in our lives if we can help it, right?

Posts: 530 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: east coast
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

Well maybe the relationship is getting stale and she is looking for drama to keep it going...? Maybe she thinks he is cheating and looking for advice... hehe Rejecting her was the wise thing to do

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4127 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

My first thought even before opening this thread?


Yea, that. ^^^

Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

Hmmm... Maybe xWH is now disappearing for periods of time and she's suspicious and investigating you. Maybe sh'es got her head up her ass and think sthat she's "being the bigger person" by "reaching out".

DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid

Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

Clueless! Who knows what Bull your ex has been feeding her.
I see this as a pity situation.
Some fogs are thicker than others!

There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1664 | Registered: Mar 2004
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

That's really pathetic!

Posts: 1702 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

I think its drama seeking.

Ow in my case ends up sending an email here or there every once in a while. Not only tho me but my family me members too. So wierd!

And your ex mil is a loser for accepting the ow.

Posts: 1401 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 37303
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

This happened to me before I knew that my STBXWH was seeing her again. She sent me a request but I didn't see it for 2 days. I was tempted to accept it and look at her page but didn't. Instead I sent her a message and asked her why she sent me a request. Of course she never responded and removed her request right away. When I caught them she accused me of calling her cell, which I didn't know was hers and she had given to my X. So I brought up the Facebook request and she told me that was an accident. Maybe it was but it proved that she was looking at my page.
I think the OW is just trying to irritate you and is probably looking for drama. She probably thinks that it's been long enough that you have "gotten over it" and will accept her request.

Me: BS (37) 38 now
Him: WS (38) 39 now
OW: Only 23, now 24
DS: 4
1st DD: 4/2010 (same girl)
Tried R and MC
2nd DD: 7/12/12 and my child was there!

Posts: 94 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

sometimes FB does send out a blanket friend request if you click the wrong button - a friend did that to her whole "suggested friends" list on accident. Some people were complete strangers!

But I'm glad you declined. Why open THAT bag of unicorn shit?

divorced the Dooosh
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

My MIL facebook friended the OW last week. I could not believe it!!!She has not talked to me in a year and a half bc they think I am lying and that her wonderful son is only "friends" with this psycho bitch from hell..

I hope I NEVER do this to my future daughter in law. And if my sons ever cheat on their wives I'll be in their face day and night.

the end.

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2195 | Registered: Jan 2012
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)

Okay, who am I kidding? I would totally do it! I'd do it in the middle of the night when I knew she'd be asleep, go through her stuff like a druggie looking for crack, then unfriend her half an hour later. She'd never know!

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9810 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 29269
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, March 20th (Wednesday)

She is batshit crazy. My Ex's OW wants to be a drinking buddy when I and friends go to a local resturant. Are you fereaking kidding me?

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2010
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, March 20th (Wednesday)

My WH#2's OW wanted us to meet up somewhere to talk on DDay#1. I was standing there in shock on the telephone, in another state, in a hotel room and she wants us to go have coffee and talk about it when I get home. Are you fu#$ing kidding me?? Seriously??!!? She wasn't calling to hurt me or anything like that, she just thought I should know that she has been my WH#2's GF for the last two years.

Who knows what goes through these crazy people's heads. Their life will be crap because they make it that way themselves and with their choices. Best just to smile and go on about your day and don't waste the headspace trying to figure them out. ((HUGS))

M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Member # 34288
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, March 20th (Wednesday)

Wow, thanks everybody for all the responses - sounds like this is a common scenario...but like many of u said I will never understand these batshit crazy people - both her AND the Ex...and why waste headspace on it???

Life is short and neither one of them are worth one more moment of space in my head...time to focus on the present:)

Dday: 8/22/11
Divorce final: 10/6/12 - my 22nd wedding anniversary
Married: 21 years, together 23 years
BS: 51
WS: 47
2 awesome sons, ages 19 & 20

Posts: 198 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: PA
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, March 20th (Wednesday)

What a crazy bitch!

I decline her request and probably ask her on in what world would she think you would want to be friends with her?

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
Member # 26423
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, March 20th (Wednesday)

It could be a mistake. I absolutely hate to admit it, but when I was back in my Facebook stalking days I sent my stbxh's mow a friend request by accident
Stupid iPhone. I was looking at her page to see if she had posted any new pics of herself that I could pick apart and pressed the friend request button by accident when I was scrolling.
I. Wanted. To.die.

Me: BS45 him: stbxh 45
2 dd's 16 and 12
Multiple DDs 7/09 - 9/21/10 same mow co-worker
Last DD 9/21/10 found love notes on computer I'm done, I'm free!!

Posts: 200 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: ny
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, March 20th (Wednesday)

together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1396 | Registered: Dec 2012
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, March 20th (Wednesday)

Sorry... wait...

Nope, that's still hilarious.
I hope you laughed in her stupid face.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13784 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, April 30th (Tuesday)

To me it sounds kind of like she's giving you crumbs, like feeding a mouse. Like, "I Win!" If you "befriend" her she can advertise to you all the stuff she puts on there.

It's my own theory that OWs have a fog and need an ego boost of their own. This is true for OW in the case of STBXH, who was very excited to compete with me but I wouldn't let it happen.

I think in a lot of ways she wants my life and will do what she can to steal it from me.

Your situation sounds a little bit similar and now sounds like a gloating period for her.

True, it could be a mistake but I'm not inclined to think so. I don't want to generalize, but my impression is that OWs don't have thinking or boundaries like other people and she's pushing at you, "the ex", to see what attention she can get.

I think things they do are very calculated, as I said.
I'm sorry for your dismay.

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

Posts: 2287 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Member # 38984
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, April 30th (Tuesday)

I would not friend her and would actually block her. I would dare the skank OW to friend request me. My WS first crazy wife did and when I told him he ask me to block her. I was going to anyway. Skanks have a lot of nerve.

Silly Slut, husbands are for wives - get your own man B*tch!

Posts: 114 | Registered: Apr 2013
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, April 30th (Tuesday)

Ew. She's totally deluded. Block and ignore. Carry on with your fabulous life!

BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 38681
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, April 30th (Tuesday)

It could be a mistake

iPhone does really crazy stuff. I too got a message once " my delivery manager has accepted your friends request" . Errr.. When did I send her a request???

But, look at the other side of it. You can deny that request and hold your head high.

[This message edited by Happydays at 12:15 PM, April 30th (Tuesday)]

BH 33
FWW 32
DS: 3 year old.
Dday 10/14/2012
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, April 30th (Tuesday)

The six friends is actually six mutual friends more than likely--that's what it looks like when someone is totally locked down, but someone else who you are already friends with has friends in common.

Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 838 | Registered: Nov 2012
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, April 30th (Tuesday)

After reading on another post about how to "grey rock" a psycho,,,I learned that psychos like to see reactions on people's faces. It's what they do when they are bored, is try to figure out ways to get reactions out of people.

She prob thought you'd call your xh.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 4:46 PM, April 30th (Tuesday)]

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2195 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 29