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User Topic: Awful, awful morning (Warning. Very disturbing, graphic)
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

I left my house for work this morning at about 10 til 7. Normal day. Nice weather.

Turned a curve about 4 miles from home and encountered the worst accident I've ever seen. It had JUST happened. 2 people had stopped and were trying to attend to the victims and direct traffic. I rolled my window down, identified myself as a nurse and asked if everyone was okay. Nope. They were not okay.

I pulled off the road, went to the fist car. It was unrecognizable. The guy who had stopped before me said, "I can't find a pulse. Maybe you can." The person's brain was exposed. There was no pulse. I couldn't even tell if it was a man or woman. Their eyes were open, staring. It was the worst thing I have ever seen.

The other lady was pinned in her van. Her leg appeared to have been broken horribly. She was bleeding but it didn't seem uncontrolled and I think the entrapment may have helped that. I stayed with her and talked to her until EMS got there.

I've been a nurse for 25 years. I have never seen anything like what I saw this morning. God rest that poor soul, and comfort their family.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2804 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
yewtree
Member
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

(((HFSSC))) And thank goodness you happened upon the accident and could be there to comfort and provide assistance.


Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.


Posts: 4698 | Registered: Oct 2007
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

How absolutely horrible!

How are you doing?
((((HFSSC))))


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4693 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

(((HFSSC)))


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13811 | Registered: Jul 2011
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

How are you doing?

Not really good. I can't get the image out of my mind. And I feel really shitty for feeling so traumatized when I'm not the one who was killed, I didn't know them, their family is going to be hit with this.

Not sure if that made sense or not.

I am glad I could comfort the lady who was in the other car. But just overwhelmed with the whole thing. If I had left my house 5 minutes earlier, it could have been me.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2804 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
deeplysad
Member
Member # 16590
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

And I feel really shitty for feeling so traumatized

Of course you feel traumatized...you are a compassionate person. How could anyone not be traumatized by witnessing what you did?

((((HFSSC)))


Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.

It takes all kinds of kinds....Miranda Lambert


Posts: 3247 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: So Calif
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

(((HFSSC)))

Of course it is traumatic! You are human and empathetic. There is no guilt in feeling shock and sadness for others and then FEELING it yourself.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5864 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

If I had left my house 5 minutes earlier, it could have been me.
That was the first thing I thought of after feeling so sad for you, HFSSC, for witnessing such disturbing carnage. Don't feel guilty, even professional EMT's have a hard time with seeing certain things and dealing with their feelings. Very normal.

(((((HFSSC)))))


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9831 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

Were the first people at the scene witnesses? Did they see what happened?


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9831 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:02 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

How awful for everyone. ((((HFSSc)))

I would be more worried if you weren't feeling anything.

Hugs,


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5319 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

I'm not sure if the first people witnessed or just came up on the wreck. It's a secondary road that doesn't see a lot of traffic until a little later in the morning.

The lady who was alive was saying the other car just came spinning into her lane with no warning. It was on a curve. I'm not sure if the driver lost control because of speed or maybe went off the road and overcorrected. But they had to have been going pretty fast because the car was absolutely demolished. The victim was half into the back seat.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2804 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

So very sad. I was thinking a high speed must have been involved because of the car being demolished. Ugh! My heart goes out to you and the victim(s) families. As having a sister die on the side of a rural road, I thank you for stopping. (((HFSSC)))


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9831 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

(((((HFSSC)))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25835 | Registered: Aug 2011
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

((((HFSSC))))

How horrible for everyone involved. The injured woman was lucky you were there to evaluate her situation, then comfort and help calm her. She and her family will be grateful she had that. I'm thinking also of the man who was there before you and tried to help. He must be having a very difficult time also. Hugs for everyone around this.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2391 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

What a nightmare. Prayers for everyone involved.

(((HFSSC)))


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17889 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
KBeguile
Member
Member # 38348
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

((((HFSSC))))

It's truly remarkable when your instincts just kick in and you're able to use your training to help in those kinds of situation. Bravo.


Me: fWS 32
Her: BS 35 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 4yo
M: 7 years
DDays: 2012/11/14, 2013/02/05, 2013/03/09
-
"Everything that happens now is happening 'now.'"
"What happened to 'then'?"
"We passed 'then.'"

Posts: 801 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

(((HFSSC)))


Posts: 36028 | Registered: Mar 2011
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

Oh no ((HUGS)) I'm sorry, that is so terrible.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6832 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

(((((HFSSC)))))


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15417 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
TrulyReconciled
Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

I'm sorry HFSSC that this happened to you.


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21318 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

Look at it this way; you may have saved the second victims life (or at very least her limbs) because of your knowledge. A person without your training might have tried to pull her from the wreck. You were there for a reason.

Bless you for stopping and assiting.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20313 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
LoveActually
Member
Member # 31030
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

I'm so sorry for you that you had to see that. I was the first on scene at a one person accident about six years ago--the man was thrown from the car and died right in front of me--I will never forgot it--it took me weeks to get back to normal--hugs to you and prayers for the lost and injured.


BS (Me)
WS (Him)
D-Day 5/29/09
Married 11 yrs, together 16 yrs

Posts: 783 | Registered: Jan 2011
StillGoing
Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

Thank you for being the kind of person who stops to help with that kind of horrible shit. It has to be brutal to see that.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7495 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Mama_of_3_Kids
Member
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

(((HFSSC)))

You did the right thing and you did what you could; of course it is going to be traumatizing. Does your hospital have free counseling that you could use? Every hospital I have worked in has had some type of program where we could receive a certain number of sessions for free every year. This may be a time for you to use it, if they have something like that.


Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11586 | Registered: Dec 2009
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

I work in a SNF. I did talk to our social workers this morning...one of them actually was a paramedic before she went into social work. She helped me a lot.

Thank you all for the hugs and prayers.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2804 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

(((HFSSC)))

(((victim's family)))


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3911 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

I'm sorry that you had to see that, but I'm glad that lady had you there to comfort her.

(((HFSSC)))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3623 | Registered: Oct 2011
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

(((HFSSC)))


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38190 | Registered: Sep 2007
NotDefeatedYet
Member
Member # 33642
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

It will probably stay with you, but be proud of yourself for not falling apart. A lot of people do. I was a police accident investigator for years. I can close my eyes and still see the face of the first body I pulled out of a car. I will never forget it, and that was almost 20 years ago. All the ones after that sort of run together.


"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart."

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Texas
redrock
Member
Member # 21538
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

(((HFSSC)))


I don't respect anyone that can't spell a word more than one way:)

Posts: 3157 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Michigan
sullymeishadomi
Member
Member # 16305
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

(((HFSsC))) prayers to you, the victims, families and all those who stopped to help.


People tell you exactly who they are...why expect them to be what they are not ....will be divorcing the selfish creep.

Posts: 8413 | Registered: Sep 2007
Rebreather
Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

You poor thing. How awful.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6564 | Registered: Jan 2011
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

Just saw a news report. It was a 52 year old man who ran off the road, over corrected and then hit the minivan head on.

I finally cried this afternoon when I saw JM for the first time and he hugged me.

Gonna go take a long, hot bath.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2804 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

I finally cried this afternoon when I saw JM for the first time and he hugged me.
'Cause he is your soft place to land, and that is so very wonderful. A positive for a very sad day.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9831 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

(((HFSSC)))

(((Victims & their loved ones)))


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18812 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
Hearthache again
Member
Member # 28564
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

How horrible and rewarding at the same time. You were there for the right person at the right time. Prayers are with you.


Me-BS(32)
Him-WS(35)
Married-12 years together 13
Kids 4: 15, 12, 8, and 3
DDay#1 9-26-2008 Dday#2 4-26-2010
We have R!!! But I still hate the number 26!

This too shall pass
I edit a lot because that stupid box is so small!


Posts: 871 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Michigan
Mama_of_3_Kids
Member
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)

If this *didn't* bother you, I would be concerned. You are human and you are a nurse; it is in your blood to save a life and when you're not able to, it hits you very hard (speaking from experience here).

More hugs...(((HFSSC)))


Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11586 | Registered: Dec 2009
Topic Posts: 37