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User Topic: Finally a call from my fiance.
FoolishBeliever
New Member
Member # 38917
Sad  Posted: 12:12 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

After losing our jobs, and our apartment. My fiance, our son, and I were forced to move back home.

My son and I moved to my parents, and she moved to her grandmothers.

For 5 months this is the situation I believed was true. We were still reconciling a prior very recent infidelity on her part.

Yesterday was one of the most painful moments in my life. My fiance called me at 3 am.
After 3 days of her being gone, not coming home, not answering texts or calls.

Only it was not her calling me but her "boyfriend" calling me to let me know that for the past 2 months she has been living with him at his house. going there every night, and that they have been having sex every day. In the same 2 months she was still sexually active with me.

I was in shock, she had been with me and my son nearly every day if she didn't have "work", it was only at night that she would leave to go sleep at her grandmothers. Which for a few months was the truth.

I met her when I was 17, I'm 24 now. I know that I was very young and foolish and that is what led me to be so easy for her to manipulate. I wanted to believe she could always be sweet, loving, and honest. But when I look back those times were few and far between.

But it hurts me so badly, because I loved her , and I believed her, and I wanted my son to always have his Mom and Dad together. We were best friends and in love, at least in my world.

As a man I feel like I've lost something inside.

She has 2 kids from previous relationships. My son is the third, she isn't the primary caregiver for any of them. She leaves her oldest to her mom, her son to her second ex, and my son to me. It was always something I argued with her about. I sometimes even thought inside that if she could treat her kids this way then it explains a lot about how she treats me.

I tried my best to communicate to her my goals, beliefs and morals. I worked hard to pay our bills by myself when she would get fired for idiotic reasons. I even kept our home clean, since she was always too "tired" to do so.

And now today I am lonely and sad, During our relationship I lost touch with all my friends. Which were not many too begin with. But on the bright side I do have my son, and my family.

I know that I am on my way to success, and she will be a joke i tell in the future.

But right now I feel like dying.


Posts: 7 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: dallas texas
TrustGone
Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

I know how heartbreaking this can be, especially when kids are involved. Yes, the very fact that she doesn't have her other kids should have been a big red flag, which hopefully you will watch out for in any future relationships. It sounds like she is hopping from one man to the next. You are lucky to have your son and your family for support. They will get you through this. She has some serious issues that she needs to work on and you can't fix her. None of this is your fault and don't let anyone make you believe it is. Hang in there and go NC with her. See an attorney about child custody and CS. Keep posting and reading. This site and people on it are very supportive and will give you good advice. Read in the healing library in the left corner. It has some very useful information. You are young and one day this will be just a bad memory for you. (((HUGS)))


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
wanttogoforward
Member
Member # 29912
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

I know this is hard right now... but look at some of the things you said... she doesn't have her own children with her, she can't keep a job, and she is now with her x... these are indications of a seriously messed up person in all areas of her life. (sorry for the 2x4).... Keep strong for your won child... show your child the stability he/she needs.... and someday the perfect person to be a partner to you and mom to your son will be found.... it's just not likely to be her. She needs to work on her own issues right now..... we all looked at our spouses cheating as the end of our world... and it was for that part.... new opportunities arise... and you will go on to be happy again... it just takes time.

Posts: 1179 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still lost
FoolishBeliever
New Member
Member # 38917
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

Thank you for taking time to respond.

I guess the part that hurts me the most right now is knowing that these past 2 months which from my perspective were us moving forward, she has been lying to my face, having a whole separate life, all while keeping me just close enough so she wouldn't have to ever be alone.


Posts: 7 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: dallas texas
Betrayed444
Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

So sorry to hear a out this. Stay strong. What is her explanation of this and why did he call you?

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
FoolishBeliever
New Member
Member # 38917
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

He called me from her phone, i assume to tell me about there new life together, she was too much of a coward to even say anything to me herself even to this moment. All she said was " yes , its all true" and then hung up on me.

She hasn't even asked about our son.

The few one sentence texts she did send

Im lost.
Im afraid I cant ever change.
Leave 40$ in the mailbox .

[This message edited by FoolishBeliever at 12:57 PM, April 7th (Sunday)]


Posts: 7 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: dallas texas
karmahappens
Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

I am so sorry Foolish, really sorry.

This is all on her, she is broken, not you.

Continue to be a great dad to your son...the pain will end and you will heal through this.

I agree with your thoughts that her treating her kids poorly is a huge big red flag!! How a mom can just abandon children amazes me.

Your son will be lucky to have a stable home with you, lean on family and come here when you need to vent.

(((hugs)))


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3822 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Getting to Happy
Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

Im lost.
Im afraid I cant ever change.
Leave 40$ in the mailbox .

Leave 40$?!?

Drop her like a bad habit! And no more money for her! You have your child, your not married. You have no further reason to support her.

She is admits herself that she is broken and crazy! Believe. Her.

Take your son and RUN! And don't look back!


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1140 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

Please go after child support and don't give her anymore money. She is trying to play you for a putz.


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1261 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
fallingquickly
Member
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

I, and many others here, know the pain of thinking you are both working on your relationship only to find out you are the only one. I'm glad you found out so quickly. It took me over a year to find out he was still lying to me and still having contact with OW. It is heartbreaking to find out you are so wrong about someone you love.

I am happy for you that you have your son and a supportive family. You can reconnect with old friends and make new ones. Build your life and be happy. I know we will all be more cautious when we get in new relationships. That makes me sad. For me, I may never commit to someone else. I'm not sure I have it in me. But that doesn't mean I won't be happy. I'm not there yet. Big work in progress.


Me-BW 50
Him-STBXWH

2 Ddays and lots of TT
divorcing

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken


Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
5454real
Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

Hey brother, welcome to the best club you never wanted to join. the best advice I can offer right now is get to an attorney immediately. Establish the fact that she has abandoned the family for over 2 months. you are going to need to establish custody early because I'm sure she will fight when it comes time for her to pay you child support.

sorry you're here. Welcome to the club!

strength

Eta it can be done. I got custody of my son from my first wife. she had to pay me 360 a month for 14 years. the saddest part of that is that she was not upset that I had custody, but rather that she had to pay me child support.

[This message edited by 5454real at 1:39 PM, April 7th (Sunday)]


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2869 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
keptmyword
Member
Member # 35526
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

I sometimes even thought inside that if she could treat her kids this way then it explains a lot about how she treats me.

Bingo! Yes.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this shit. She seems quite broken and in constant pursuit of validation and self-worth from other people.

She needs help big-time and she knows it. You need to affirm to your self that you should not accept this shit in your and your child's life and you know it.

Get away from her contagion and get started on a cleaner, honest, and authentic life for you and your son. And, from here on out - expect better.


I Divorced Her.

Posts: 362 | Registered: May 2012
jimbo25319
Member
Member # 31891
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

Here's what you should do:
Get down on your knees and thank God you did not M this woman. He has given you two gifts:
1. A wonderful child
2. He showed you her true nature prior to you marring her

Your fiance' is totally lost. IMO is not worth your while to wait around for her to "fix herself". Odds are she stay broken for life.
Your first priority should be to get custody of your child. You need to go to the court and do that ASAP.


Posts: 480 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Maryland
MoreThanMe
Member
Member # 25451
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

Imagine how awesome it would be to have a real relationship and be a dad? If you don't- I hope you will soon- know that this isn't about you. It's about her. She's sick.
I'd be willing to bet that you'll look back- she'll be a long lost memory-and you'll why you would EVER shed a tear over someone so emotionally unhealthy/unstable.

Not that this doesn't suck- I know must. :

[This message edited by MoreThanMe at 9:24 PM, April 7th (Sunday)]


Brevity, typos & misspellings provided by my ipad and fatigue.
It's been 4 years, SA husband sober. We're doing okay. Today.

fWH had ONS with High School Principal he met on Ashley.com. 08/25/2009


Posts: 696 | Registered: Sep 2009
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

(((Believer)))

I am going to tell you something. Dying is the last thing your child needs...How do I know this?

My WH is having an affair with a woman whose husband KILLED HIMSELF and the other man 15 years ago.

YEP> It didn't even stop her!!! She is doing the same thing to the current husband--- the man who raised her daughter since she was 2!! The daughter who had to grow up without her dad!!!Her dad missed everything and the OW bitch gets to enjoy this beautiful child while possibly setting her up to lose another DAD!!!

So,,, my philosphy was during this past year was that I was the person who was going to raise my children because I deserved to watch these beautiful children grow up -- not my mfH and the OW from hell.

Also, believe it or not your son being so young will be used to her not living there and it will really be easier on him than my 15 year old who had a 15 year childhood and traditions and memories that are now TOTALLY screwed up. He has dropped some of his sports, won't eat at the dinner table, can't believe his Dad took the OW to our lake house, etc etc.

Please grieve and then work very hard at enjoying the blessings of a child. There's lots to live for--his sports or music interests, hunting, fishing, etc. You are going to give him a great childhood and he will be a great dad because of you.!!!!


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2145 | Registered: Jan 2012
Brokenheart777
Member
Member # 38561
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, April 7th (Sunday)

FoolishBeliever,
I'm so sorry that you are here. But you have found a place to help you grieve and get through the mess that is occurring. We all know your pain. If you haven't already, please read the articles and FAQs in the Healing Library in the upper left of the page. There is a lot in there that will help you start to wrap your head around the betrayal that you are going through. It has helped me greatly.

None of this has to do with you. A healthy person doesn't leave their children and cheat on their SO.


ME - A new person
HER - A waining memory
DDay - 2/22/2013
2-3 month EA/PA
Together for 6 years, ready to start my life . . .

"I can fill the flask up, but can't get past us
I'm in the storm, staying strong, but can't get back


Posts: 177 | Registered: Feb 2013
FoolishBeliever
New Member
Member # 38917
Default  Posted: 10:37 AM, April 8th (Monday)

This is what she txted me this morning.

I still care! I will always care!

I hate this

I hate that I've done this!

How can I stop, it's done it won't be forgiven you can't forgive that, I know you won't

I want our life back.

Help me
--------------

It makes me sick, she has this whole new relationship that she began while we were still together. that is hurting me so badly, she is and has been living with this person, her life never missed a beat, she went right from me to this guy, with not even one day of separation. We were together for seven years. I am so depressed that I can hardly function.

[This message edited by FoolishBeliever at 11:18 AM, April 8th (Monday)]


Posts: 7 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: dallas texas
keptmyword
Member
Member # 35526
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, April 8th (Monday)

That text could have come from my STBXWW as well - and also at the same time as she was with the affair guy.

DO NOT fall for this bullshit. She's sending you this shit because she wants you to keep pining for her so she has both her affair guy and you vying for her fucked-upness. That's her version of validation and self-worth.

You are not married to her - that is fucking fantastic! Trust me! You should EASILY win custody of your son - if there was any contest.

I know it hurts right now but you will see what a good thing it was that this happened before you were legally married to her.


I Divorced Her.

Posts: 362 | Registered: May 2012
OK now
Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, April 8th (Monday)

Move on and eject this self-destructive lady from your life. She will always cheat and betray whoever she lives with; make sure that person is no longer you.

As for her pathetic texts, they are designed to get you to keep her in your life mainly for financial assistance. Please ignore her foolish meanderings and shut the door on this poisonous relationship.

If you take her back there will be more pain. As she stated, she cannot change; among all the lies this is the one item of truth.


Posts: 1716 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
Getting to Happy
Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, April 8th (Monday)

As for her pathetic texts, they are designed to get you to keep her in your life mainly for financial assistance.

THIS^^^

I know it hurts but you are pining for someone who does not exist. Hold your head up, take care of your boy and walk away. Don't look back.

Today is Monday, use today to start the custody and child support papers.

There is a shinning future out there waiting for you!


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1140 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
nomistakeaboutit
Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, April 8th (Monday)

Your first priority should be to get custody of your child. You need to go to the court and do that ASAP.

^^^This is where all of your non-work energy needs to be focused right now. Do this immediately. Get this done before you consider anything that has to do with your fiancé.

A few thoughts about her text message.

1. This is how she feels today, or at the moment she sent the text...maybe. How will she feel tomorrow?

2. Yes, she does need help, but there's no help that you can provide. It's not as though she came to you with a plea for help BEFORE she betrayed you. No. She's making you her Plan B, her backup guy. Her affair partner (AP) and she must have gotten into an argument. She's feeling a bit down. Wait 15 minutes. They'll make up and then she's back to her Plan A. Does that sound like a fun game to play?

3. In her first text, she told you herself, "I'm afraid I can never change." Translation: "Heads up. I will never change. I'm really fucked up. You have no idea how badly I'm fucked up. I actually don't want to change, but I feel a little bit bad about hurting you, but, hey, that's me. I'm a mess and probably always will be. Leave me, for your own good. I will hurt you again and again if you don't."

------------------------------------

FoolishBeliever, You are at what will probably be the lowest point of your life right now, emotionally. But, you're a survivor. Exhibit A evidence of that. You've done a great thing for yourself by finding this web site.

Take care of your son. Take care of you. Get rid of her immediately. Keep posting here. You'll get through this. You will. I did, just like many others. Strength to you, my friend.


Me: BH 58.........Her: WW 45
DD: 8..........DS: 5
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 950 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
FoolishBeliever
New Member
Member # 38917
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, April 9th (Tuesday)

Everything you guys are saying makes total sense, and if it wasn't for you words I would most likely be giving in to her now.

She telling me she's moving to the country to live with her friend for a month, and sending me sprawling text messages about memories from our past. But in my mind she sure didn't remember all of that crap while she was sleeping with the other guy, and making my life hell, and she'll be over it and back to whatever is easiest.

I don't even believe her about where she says shes living now. I feel like she is only saying this because it all came out in the open and she can't keep me in the background for safety anymore.

I still hurt for many reasons, I feel like less of a man, I feel sorry for my son that his mom is crazy.

As far as custody of my son goes, I currently don't have the funds for an attorney. But I do know that she signed over full custody of her other son willingly. So I'm wondering if I should ask her to do the same for me. Or wait and save money to do it the normal way.

I know for sure I will not let her back in my life anytime soon, but if a year or two or three go by and she has fixed her broken self, I don't know, I feel I would still be afraid, and not able to trust her. I know for sure that what I need to do now is focus on financial success and the happiness of my son and I. And that any woman I meet or date in the future will be held at arms length.


Posts: 7 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: dallas texas
OK now
Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, April 9th (Tuesday)

I think you have a very good plan of action, particularly with reference to your son.

Your WW is the type of person who needs lots of male attention and I will lay a bet that she is not going to spend a month in the country with a female friend, rather another affair, or continuation of the current one.

You will never be able to trust this person; she will not and cannot stop cheating. Save yourself future pain and write her out of your life.


Posts: 1716 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 12:35 AM, April 11th (Thursday)

Most attys will give a free consultation.

If you can get her sign over custody of your child,, please do that. You can always give her more visiation later. This is probably a great time to get that because she feels so guilty.

Protect your child is your number 1 priority in your life now.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2145 | Registered: Jan 2012
exhausted lady
Member
Member # 30217
Default  Posted: 12:58 AM, April 11th (Thursday)

I still hurt for many reasons, I feel like less of a man, I feel sorry for my son that his mom is crazy.

Whoa. Full stop. Right now. There is NO reason for you to feel like less of a man. Her actions have absolutely nothing to do with you - and everything to do with her and her broken self. I have a snarky term for women that operate on her frequency (hope you don't take offense), I call them "attention whores". Willing to do anything and everything to get more validation from more men. There will never be enough men or attention to fill that hole in her soul. It has NOTHING to do with you.

Your son? The woman that gave birth to him probably is, in fact, disordered. If you play your cards right (ie: get custody NOW!), he will probably never really suffer much damage from her.

Given her track record, I seriously doubt that she will ever grow up and pull her head out of her ass.

You need to take the bull by the horns and take charge about the custody thing NOW, before she cycles into yet another version of herself. Find out if there is low cost (or no-cost) legal help available to you. Get some free consultations. Do whatever it takes!

And....go NC with her, like right now. She's toxic, and trying to reason with a person like that is like trying to sober up a drunk with tequila. Impossible.


Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr


Posts: 3168 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Colorado
HurtsButImOK
Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 2:41 AM, April 11th (Thursday)

In addition to all the wonderful advice you have already received.

I know for sure I will not let her back in my life anytime soon, but if a year or two or three go by and she has fixed her broken self, I don't know,

In a year or two or three you will find yourself a different person. Someone who is stronger and healthier for a true relationship. Please make sure you dont let yourself 'wait' for her. You deserve better.


Me: Awesome - 35

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –


Posts: 740 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
7yrsflushed
Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, April 11th (Thursday)

So much great advice for you so far.

As others have stated please go see a lawyer YESTERDAY and start working on getting full custody of your son.

Do NOT believe anything this woman tells you. She has shown you who she truly is so BELIEVE her. All the texts you receive are all bullshit designed to keep you as a back up plan. Don't be anyone's back up plan. This is going to be very hard but you need to do your best to get this woman out of your mind. She is NOT safe for you or yrou child.

So:

1) Go see a lawyer immediately to start getting full custody of your son.

2) Go No Contact with her immediately. So don't respond to texts emails or calls.

3) Go get tested for STD's as soon as you can.

4) Talk to some people in real life to establish a support system for yourself.

5) post often it really does help.

6) you are not married, you may not realize it now but at soem point in the future you will be so thankful that you avoided this landmine. Right now the only thing you have to legally deal with is the custody or your child and child support. Get a lawyer and listen to the lawyer. Do not let your feelings get in the way. Dealing with lawyers is all about taking care of business.

7) THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

No matter what she says she is the broken person not you. Believe me when I say all of us understand where you are right now. I felt the same way almost 2 years ago and I can tell you that it does get better. So make sure you eat something, stay hydrated, and take care of yourself and your child. If you can't eat buy protein shakes and drink them. And try to get some exercise even if it's jsut walking. Take care, you will get through this.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1905 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
DecimatedHeart
Member
Member # 37657
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, April 11th (Thursday)

Please listen to the advice you have received from other BS's here and see a lawyer to protect your child's wellbeing.

As for her texts, if she truly wants to R (reconcile) and more importantly if YOU want to R, she has to roll up her sleeves and do the work, not just say she's sorry. That means NC (no contact) with the OP (other person), transparency in your relationship, counseling, et cetera -- whatever YOU need to feel safe. Otherwise, you're just setting yourself up for more heartbreak. Trust me, I know.

((hugs))

[This message edited by DecimatedHeart at 9:15 AM, April 11th (Thursday)]


Me, BS 41
Him WH 42 - LTA, EA/PA
Together 24 years
DD13 - the love of my life
DDay#1 11/10/2012
DDay#4 4/5/2013 (NC broken AGAIN)
A supposedly over 6/14/2013

All my posts are edited - I hate typos. :)


Posts: 129 | Registered: Nov 2012
still2suspicious
Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, April 11th (Thursday)

that she signed over full custody of her other son willingly
.

NOW might be the best time to do the same. While she is in "the fog", and not really thinking clearly (not sure if she can). The old saying "strike while the iron is hot" just might apply here for you.

You are doing great. You will be OK, no matter what.

Sending strength


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1290 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
FoolishBeliever
New Member
Member # 38917
Default  Posted: 1:35 AM, April 12th (Friday)

God what is wrong with me,


For some stupid reason this betrayal is causing me so much more pain than what I have ever felt before. I guess because we spent everyday together. I know that no matter what I will survive, but I feel so damn lonely. I'm doing my best to keep my son happy, but I feel so drained. Before this happened I was working out 3 - 5 times a week, building muscle, studying for a certification, going to work, spending time with my son, and now I can barely get one of those done in a day without feeling completely drained.

I know its dumb to be so damn upset. I really did love her,I felt happy, I was naive. I'm so tired of her sending me messages about how she is so sad about all this and so sorry. It means nothing. Shes only upset that I'm not there to be her backup plan.

I guess the hard part for me is I don't make friends very easily. I usually stay very quiet when I meet people and just listen to them, which usually leads to me being ignored or talked over by loud people. But once I get to know someone I'm actually a funny and happy person. My one saving grace is I do go out to house parties and get together with my younger brother (22) who is very outgoing, and has lots of friends. But I feel like a tag along.

at this moment I don't have a single friend that I actually see on any type of regular basis. which makes me feel like a freak. I had way too much invested into the relationship and now I'm paying the price for that bad investment.

On the topic of custody, shes agreed to the idea of signing him over though initially she responded by saying she just didn't want to talk about it. So I know I need to take the steps to actually get that done ASAP. Before she transitions into a different personality again.

Thanks for all the kind and supportive words. I try to be a strong person. I feel like a shadow of myself right now.


Posts: 7 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: dallas texas
nomistakeaboutit
Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 3:49 AM, April 12th (Friday)

It's not dumb to be as upset as you are. You're grieving the loss of a love.


Me: BH 58.........Her: WW 45
DD: 8..........DS: 5
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 950 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
Getting to Happy
Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, April 12th (Friday)

(((((Foolishbeliever)))))


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1140 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
Brokenheart777
Member
Member # 38561
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, April 12th (Friday)

I feel exactly the same as you do most of the time FB. The betrayal hurts you so badly because you are a loving person. You loved someone more than just about anything else and they stabbed you right in the back and through your heart. You've been betrayed in the worst way by the closest person you know. All you are feeling is completely normal.

I hope you can have an outlet for someone to talk to. Talking to people (and taking up smoking lots of cigarettes) has been my biggest help through all this as well as reading in here. Post more, dump the thoughts from your brain here. At times I have to get it all out. I have been texting my good friend (who is an SI member and mad hatter) constantly. He is just over a year out from his DDay and he has helped me through my hardest times. Talking to those that know this pain is vital IMO. Keep talking here.

You are making the right choices right now. NC is the absolute best thing for you and you son right now. You can't fix them. Their words are weightless. Actions are all that matter and her actions say plenty right now.

[This message edited by Brokenheart777 at 7:26 PM, April 12th (Friday)]


ME - A new person
HER - A waining memory
DDay - 2/22/2013
2-3 month EA/PA
Together for 6 years, ready to start my life . . .

"I can fill the flask up, but can't get past us
I'm in the storm, staying strong, but can't get back


Posts: 177 | Registered: Feb 2013
Topic Posts: 33