SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Just Found Out
User Topic: He just left
livebythesea
Member
Member # 38900
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, April 12th (Friday)

Thanks so much everyone for all your support! I'm completely new to this site and was not aware I had replies. It feels so good to read your thoughts. My H just left for work. He is gone for 8 weeks! Yes, 8 weeks. That is why I have no proof, all the hell takes place 4 000 miles away. My physic was right. But that is not all she told me, she told me that he cheated on me several times! I confronted him with that, he denied it. He said it was just a one night stand. In 2007 (fall). It makes me sick when I think about it. He left, the house is empty, and all I have are my thoughts with me. I know deep down, that this infidelity has been going on for some time. However, this may sound strange to you all, but he loves me dearly. I know that! I feel that very much. And, honestly, I truly believe he feels this infidelity of his is not that big of a deal. That he is more or less entitled! I truly believe he feels that way. No guilt. Certainly does not give me that impression of being sorry. We have 3 beautiful children, one grand child. Life is good! Now this shit is happening! I may never be able to prove his numerous "night out", the feeling I have is so real that I cannot put it aside. I know he is guilty of cheating on me more than once.


HIM - 56(looks older by the day)
his time has come
ME - 56 (heart aged lately)
DD1 April 5 2013 (told me a lie)
DD2 April 23 2013
DD3 June 22 2013
3 children
1 grand child

Posts: 195 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Near the ocean ... Canada
dameia
Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, April 12th (Friday)

Hugs to you livebythesea. I too could never prove the infidelities because they took place when he was thousands of miles away.

If you feel like he isn't being honest then you are probably right. I would put more trust in your instincts than what the psychic says though.

Unfortunately most of us here on SI have found that there is usually much more to the story than we are first told. We are here to support you!


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.


Posts: 1157 | Registered: Jul 2012
isadora
Member
Member # 29130
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, April 13th (Saturday)

I'm sorrry. He is probably a Ws who compartmentalizes. He may never be completely honest or even understand your pain. Or even stop.

IMO, use the time he is away to think about what you want out of your M. See your doctor and get tested for STDs. See an attorney to learn your options. (you don't have to file but knowledge is power).

If you decide you cannot remain married to him without honesty, decide what steps you will take if he doesn't come clean.

Read up in the healing library (yellow box upper left hand corner).

Drink plenty of water, make sure you are eating and get plenty of rest. You will get through this.


Me: BW Him: WH
Married: 12 yrs
2 DDs and DSs all under 10
2 Affairs - 2010 year long PA/EA, 2008 2 month online EA
Multiple D-Days

I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.


Posts: 4509 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Back home again in Indiana
Topic Posts: 3