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Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, April 13th (Saturday)

I don't want to go into detail because there's just too much, but I've been dealing with a very negative coworker since I took this position in Houston last September. She's a diva and very paranoid.

I've tried to be positive, and I can usually just politely ignore her, but for the last couple of months we've had to work closely on a very big event that's happening in early May. In the past couple of weeks she has circumvented everything that I've worked on and has caused delays and confusion. She has either miscommunicated or not communicated information that I needed. The least of the problems is that she's taken credit for every one of my ideas. I can live with that; I'm not looking for glory, as it 's her event-I'm the assistant.

The event is not working out well; it's a combination of poor planning, a bad prior reputation (which she may or may not have participated in-it was before my time here) and intrusion by our boss' boss into the planning process. It's a mess.

She's passive agressive and nonconfrontational, so rather than openly discuss any issues, she has complained to our direct boss. (We do not have a manager in our office; he is in another city.) I was given the heads-up by our other coworker. We received a cryptic email late on Friday afternoon that our boss and the person who is essentially in charge of personnel are coming to visit our office on Tuesday. He specifically mentioned that he and the MCO want to have a meeting with me. FML

So, I'm spending my weekend getting my ducks in a row. I've decided that my best defense is a good offense, so I've informed my boss and the MCO that I'm glad they are coming next week, as I'm about to initiate a grievance against this coworker, and I hope we can avoid this by our discussion.

This is the part I'm unsure of: I also plan to talk to this coworker on Monday, stating that I've been advised that she's complained to the boss and I want to know what she's complained about. I'm also going to give her a chance to recant.

I'm pretty sure I can cause havoc for our office and the bosses office. This location should have been closed last year when my former office closed. There is no reason for it to be open--there is literally no work, except for this event, which happens once a year. I sat on my hands for four months because my coworkers were doing my job because they had nothing to do. My only salvation was that I knew I'd be involved in another project for another office in early March, so I had that to look forward to.

I don't plan to act on the 'scorched earth' campaign unless this turns into a witch hunt. I could use some advice and good wishes.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20168 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Crescita
Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, April 13th (Saturday)

Ugh, no advice but mojo headed your way.

Posts: 3388 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, April 13th (Saturday)

I have no good advice for you but I'll send plenty of mojo and good thoughts.

It must be the week for difficult coworkers. I found out my P/A coworker has been complaining to the warehouse guys about me and the other woman in the office. Apparently drama llama does all the work, and we do absolutely nothing to help her. Never mind that I switched positions this week, and I've been doing my old job while trying to learn the new one. Yep, I do nothing.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12149 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, April 13th (Saturday)

Ugh, good luck!


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17390 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, April 13th (Saturday)


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12149 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
bbee
Member
Member # 17840
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, April 13th (Saturday)

Bleah. Good luck.


This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

All's Well That Ends Well, Act I, Scene 1


Posts: 6654 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: SE US
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, April 13th (Saturday)

Oy. I HATE this kind of crap with a passion. Tons of good wishes heading your way.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25343 | Registered: Aug 2011
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, April 13th (Saturday)

No advice that you don't already know and are doing. Get your ducks in a row..

Sending Mojo and saying prayers.

Hugs, too.

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5081 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, April 13th (Saturday)

No advice, either.

I've decided that my best defense is a good offense, so I've informed my boss and the MCO that I'm glad they are coming next week, as I'm about to initiate a grievance against this coworker, and I hope we can avoid this by our discussion.
I think this is brilliant.

Sending hugs and lots of good thoughts.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37591 | Registered: Sep 2007
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 4:33 PM, April 13th (Saturday)

Wanted to send you some mojo!

FWIW, I think going on the offense in this situation is the right course. I don't think you are going to get a straight/honest answer from your coworker but she'll be on notice.

Good luck!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4628 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Jpapageorge
Member
Member # 31800
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, April 13th (Saturday)

I would avoid a Monday discussion with the Drama Llama since you are meeting with your boss and the HR person on Tuesday. You are right, in my opinion, to go on offense with the higher ups but talking to a paranoid, P/A diva has too many possible pitfalls to be helpful.

Good luck/bon chance.


"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

Posts: 1741 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: California
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 12:53 AM, April 14th (Sunday)

I agree with Jpapa.
Don't "tip your hand" with the diva. She's already been back-stabbing and bad mouthing you. Damage has already been done.

Go straight to the higher-ups with your information. Any written emails/data that can show her antics will only help you in the end.

Sending LOTS of mojo your way!


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6443 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
kernel
Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, April 14th (Sunday)

I agree with Jpapa andGaby. I don't think you should give her a heads-up. Wait to see what the higher-ups have to say and then you'll know how to react. You don't want to jump the gun. Maybe they want to talk to you to find out the truth because they have dealt with her shit before. I know, pollyanna, but that's who I am. You're prepared for whichever way it goes. Good luck!


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5133 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, April 14th (Sunday)

Good Luck. Hope it goes well Tuesday.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3415 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, April 15th (Monday)

Just reading this now. Hope all goes/went well for you. My advice would have needed to be in place long ago and perhaps was. Put any ideas you have in an email to her and the boss. That way she cannot claim they are hers. As was suggested, keep any communications with her.

Since it is *her* project and may not be going well, then I guess *she* will be the one it lands on because she has laid claim to all your ideas. Perhaps if this office were to close, she would not be offered a xfer.

Mojo, Mojo, MOJO.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2330 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, April 15th (Monday)

Today the boss asked me to reserve an outside conference room (we have our own!) We work in a concierge suite. He wants to pay for another room-WTF? They want to meet with each of us privately--all 3 of us, not just the PITA & me.

I can't wait for tomorrow to be over.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20168 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, April 15th (Monday)

Sending you positive energy for tomorrow, and calm for tonight.

((Sad))


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13740 | Registered: Jul 2011
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, April 15th (Monday)

Loads of Mojo for tomorrow. Walk in there with all of your documentation and fire both barrels.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4804 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
KVille
Member
Member # 29071
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, April 15th (Monday)

In my job if I had been asked to reserve a room I would feel better. They would not ask you to do this if you were in trouble....even if booking places is your usual job


never ever getting back together

Posts: 167 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: North Carolina
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, April 15th (Monday)

Sending lots of good thoughts for tomorrow!


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37591 | Registered: Sep 2007
kernel
Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, April 15th (Monday)

Is it possible they are meeting with each of you to tell you they are closing the office?


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5133 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, April 15th (Monday)

That was my thought kernel, especially after going through this last year. It's eeriely similar. This office was slated to close last year. No one knows for sure how/why it was saved. However, we were told that there would be no more closures--all happened last year. There has been no chatter about more closures; last year it was all over the place.

I did get a rather panicky call from a coworker in the Dallas office; she's the HR administrator, and she doesn't know what's going on either. She asked if we were getting a visit because there was supposed to be a meeting in Dallas tomorrow, and when she asked her boss (the MCO) if she would be there, the MCO very vaguely told her that she would not be in Dallas.

[This message edited by Sad in AZ at 7:19 PM, April 15th (Monday)]


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20168 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
jrc1963
Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, April 15th (Monday)

Tons of MOJO for tomorrow!!!!

I'll be watching this thread for updates!!!


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24511 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, April 15th (Monday)

((((Sad)))) Hope all goes well tomorrow.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25343 | Registered: Aug 2011
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, April 15th (Monday)

Sending lots of mojo your way!


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6443 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, April 15th (Monday)

(((Sad)))

Sending mojo.


Posts: 35192 | Registered: Mar 2011
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 6:07 AM, April 16th (Tuesday)

Thinking of you today Sad


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13740 | Registered: Jul 2011
Crescita
Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, April 16th (Tuesday)

Hope everything went well today.

Posts: 3388 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, April 16th (Tuesday)

Thinking of you. (((Sad)))

Posts: 35192 | Registered: Mar 2011
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, April 16th (Tuesday)

It was a whole lot of touchy-feely nothing. At least for me. My coworker was not a happy camper, so I'm guessing she didn't get whatever satisfaction she was hoping for.

They announced that they were here for 'conflict resolution'. My turn came last, and I was asked how my job was going. I was honest and said that I'd literally sat on my hands for the first 4 months. They were surprised. (My coworkers actually do my job because they have nothing to do.)

I also explained my recent difficulties with the coworker and was asked what I thought would help. I made a suggestion and the boss got very excited. He agreed it would help in this situation and it would help us get recognition from Ottawa. I guess I have my work cut out for me tomorrow...

Thank you for all of the support; you have no idea how much it helped.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20168 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, April 16th (Tuesday)

Sorry it wasn't more productive, but I am so relieved for you that you still have your job, and didn't get a reprimand of any kind. Mojo for the weeks to come - hopefully your teammates can pull it together in the future!


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13740 | Registered: Jul 2011
hurtinky
Member
Member # 26152
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, April 16th (Tuesday)

LOL at "touchy feely nothing."

I don't do touchy feely very well, unless it involves my children or grandchildren. Touchy feely makes me want to yell, "Cut the crap!"

Workplace drama drives me insane. The vast majority of it seems to be created by passive aggressive folks.


Me --> BS
D-Day 10-1988
D-Day 9-12-2005
S 9-13-2005
D 3-6-12



Posts: 1500 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Kentucky
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, April 17th (Wednesday)

I always tell my feuding co-workers to just "hug it out".

Glad you survived - I was thinking of you all day.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7647 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, April 17th (Wednesday)

It's a done deal for me; the worst of it was before we had our meetings (when the coworker NOT involved was being interviewed) the difficult one outright lied to; asked if I knew why they were here and then said "I never talk behind other peoples' backs" when she did exactly that.

Turns out she panicked when they said they were coming and tried to rescind at that point, but it was too late. I guess she was trying to cover her tracks; she still have no idea that I knew about it beforehand.

It's over as far as I'm concerned. I hope she realizes that she should not do this again.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20168 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
kernel
Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, April 17th (Wednesday)

I'm glad to hear of the positive results. Whew!


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5133 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 35