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User Topic: Rough week
ProbableIceCream
Member
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, April 14th (Sunday)

Generally I've been doing pretty well with myself since the separation. I've felt peaceful at home and productive at work. Maybe a little socially withdrawn.. I should go out and make an effort to meet new people, really, but haven't much felt the need.

Until this week. Maybe it's just the upcoming anniversary of my D-Day or something (coming up late this month), but I've just felt exhausted and kind of lonely all week. I even cried at an early 3rd season The Walking Dead episode (granted it was a sad episode).


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 835 | Registered: Nov 2012
Survivor3512
Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, April 14th (Sunday)

(((Pic))) I am sure it's the anniversary of Dday coming up that's got you down. Take good care of yourself and lean on us. Sounds like you're doing really well. You just need to ride out this wave. Hang in there.


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 11:04 PM, April 14th (Sunday)

I agree the dday anti-versary is probably much of why you feel off center right now.
It will do it to you even if you don't think it's on your mind.

Do something for yourself that puts a smile on your face. You deserve it !


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20377 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
ProbableIceCream
Member
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 12:09 AM, April 15th (Monday)

Thanks. :) I'll go out and do something fun this week.


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 835 | Registered: Nov 2012
cayc
Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, April 15th (Monday)

A friend of mine from Hawaii is always fond of telling me, "you know cayc, sometimes you just have to hang-ten".

Besides reminding me of my fav brand of t-shirt/shorts when I was a kidster lol, I get what he means. You just have to ride the wave out.

I do that a lot these days. Release control, just ride it out, wait for some good stuff to flow in.

(Some of you are giggling right now, what? Uptight whiney cayc just posted *that*?!!!! )


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3107 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, April 15th (Monday)

Hang in there. Bad/sad moods will come and go. The good news is that eventually you will find something to smile about again. Be extra gentle with yourself this week. I find that doing something "nice" for myself often doesn't work so well, I just have to let a better mood "happen" or do something that is good for me (like going to the gym, cleaning out a closet, etc.) or nice for someone else, so that I'm productive and generous even if I'm not happier...


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3156 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
ProbableIceCream
Member
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, April 15th (Monday)

I find myself still loving and caring about my (soon to be ex) wife a lot, even after all this. It can definitely be rough.

We went through so much hardship together (and some very happy moments).


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 835 | Registered: Nov 2012
Survivor3512
Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, April 15th (Monday)

I know how you feel. But just because you still care about your Stbx doesn't mean that this isn't for the best. And it may not feel like it now, but this is setting you free. And that's a good thing. You'll be free to start over and have a great new beginning. (At least that's what I keep telling myself! )

It's going to be ok. Better than ok. Hang in there. We're here for you.


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
ProbableIceCream
Member
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, April 15th (Monday)

Survivor3512, thanks for the encouragement.

I think we are both pretty early in our time line, no? So not much time has passed. Bound to be rough spots.

Emotions are weird things.. they are really powerful and they seem to have a mind of their own. Not something to be underestimated.


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 835 | Registered: Nov 2012
ProbableIceCream
Member
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, April 15th (Monday)

cayc, that's probably good advice for me. I've historically tended to be find comfort in trying to control things, but sometimes you just have to be patient...


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 835 | Registered: Nov 2012
ProbableIceCream
Member
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, April 16th (Tuesday)

I honestly miss parts of my old life.


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 835 | Registered: Nov 2012
sadsand
New Member
Member # 32874
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, April 16th (Tuesday)

Sorry buddy:(. I know how you feeI.
I have been divorced from my exh for a year now and havent heard a thing about or from him in 5 months but still feel like he just left. I can still sob over it all like he just left but hes been gone since dec 2010.
It hurts so much sometime I wish I could rush this whole "HEALING PROCESS" just so I can feel a little normal....
I just try to compare myself and my life to what it was a year ago today and I have to admit Ive made alot of little strides but its progress none the less.
As annoying as it is expect to have ups and downs but expect to actually live this time around...being with a self person drains so much out of you. So although I miss him I cant deny how much better my quality of life is and can be.
Hope that made sense anyways...Keep hope alive


Me: 26 trying to accept all this
Him: 25 and still matters for some dumb reason
2 awesome kids 5 & 7
"...Charlie found the golden ticket, he did, sand, HE DID"

Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Texas
ProbableIceCream
Member
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, April 16th (Tuesday)

Thanks, sadsand. I definitely understand what you're saying.

I'm sorry to hear you feel that way though.

You know what's weird is that I don't REALLY miss my old life, I miss this rose colored view I have of it, but when I think of what the typical day was really like even during the times I miss the most, it wasn't that great.


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 835 | Registered: Nov 2012
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, April 18th (Thursday)

I mourn what I never had too friend. (((PIC)))


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5580 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Survivor3512
Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, April 18th (Thursday)

Hi pic! I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. I hope your week has gotten better.

And yes, it's been 8 months since Dday for me and 4 since the D was final. We are early in the process, but I can already see how much better I am doing than I was even a couple of months ago. I still have rough times, but I expect that to happen for a while. I just try to remember- this too shall pass.

I also have the same problem of looking back through rose-colored glasses. The good thing is that you can recognize that your "vision" doesn't line up with the reality of day to day living. That usually helps to snap me back to the present and all the great things I have going on in my life.

Hang in there! We're gonna make it!


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
ProbableIceCream
Member
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 11:54 AM, April 18th (Thursday)

Survivor3512, I think I'm finally starting to pull out of it again. I'm at maybe half intensity of the depression type feelings today compared to yesterday. This sort of thing seems to happen randomly but it never lasts too long (with the exception of D-Day.. the aftermath felt like it lasted forever..) Thanks for checking on me.


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 835 | Registered: Nov 2012
Survivor3512
Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, April 18th (Thursday)

Glad you're feeling better! (((Pic)))


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
Topic Posts: 17