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New Beginnings
User Topic: I feel so stupid
turned123
Member
Member # 33663
Frustrated  Posted: 12:55 PM, April 15th (Monday)

Ive had some time to reflect and look back on my year long new beginning. I saw things the way I wanted to see them not how they really were. I feel stupid, used and cast aside. My role in my disapiontment was considerable. The truth is she was just coasting. I'm just pissed today. Pissed at myself, pissed at her, pissed at being single again. The upside is that the sadness has lifted and I have a better grip on how my perception is just that, and reality checks are needed more often than I thought.


me BS 48
her WW 45
married 15 years
divorced
3 wonderful but hurt kids

Posts: 334 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: milwaukee
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, April 15th (Monday)

Don't feel stupid. This was another life lesson for you to learn from is all. We all go through it.

(((turned123)))


Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.

Posts: 13807 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
notmeanymore
Member
Member # 9772
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, April 15th (Monday)

I don't know if it will come as any consolation, but you're not the first person to fall into that trap.

You'll be wiser next time.


"Put the cuckoo back in the clock baby" - Four Brothers

Posts: 872 | Registered: Feb 2006
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, April 15th (Monday)

(((turned)))


Posts: 35870 | Registered: Mar 2011
turned123
Member
Member # 33663
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, April 15th (Monday)

Not the first person
Sooo true! Thanks gang!


me BS 48
her WW 45
married 15 years
divorced
3 wonderful but hurt kids

Posts: 334 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: milwaukee
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, April 15th (Monday)

The upside is that the sadness has lifted and I have a better grip on how my perception is just that, and reality checks are needed more often than I thought.
This is great, turned. Growth and progress. Well done, you.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25726 | Registered: Aug 2011
turned123
Member
Member # 33663
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, April 15th (Monday)

Thank you nik!... something about old dogs and new tricks


me BS 48
her WW 45
married 15 years
divorced
3 wonderful but hurt kids

Posts: 334 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: milwaukee
k94ever
Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, April 15th (Monday)

You aren't stupid.

Face it....most of us haven't dated in DECADES and things have changed enormously.

You aren't stupid. The relationship didn't work and you are better prepared for the next one.

Plus you dodged the bullet with her.

But look on the up side....you at least were dating!!!!!!!!!

Stop over-thinking this. You. Are. Not. Stupid.

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6580 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
turned123
Member
Member # 33663
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, April 15th (Monday)

K9 thank you! I know it's just a brief feeling. There are some things I don't regret. I don't regret being able to open my heart again!!! I don't regret learning to laugh again! I don't regret giving myself! I do regret not acting on the red flags when I saw them! It truly is a live and learn!!! so I also don't regret dodging another bullet


me BS 48
her WW 45
married 15 years
divorced
3 wonderful but hurt kids

Posts: 334 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: milwaukee
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, April 15th (Monday)

I saw things the way I wanted to see them not how they really were.

I did this throughout my M and I don't feel confident that I wouldn't do it again - my picker is on the fritz and I need to take time to develop healthy coping mechanisms. Head in sand doesn't work for me but it seems to be my reflex reaction.

You're going to be OK friend. Learning what you don't want is as important as knowing what you do want.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 5:02 PM, April 15th (Monday)]


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
turned123
Member
Member # 33663
Default  Posted: 6:42 AM, April 16th (Tuesday)

Strongbutbroken I do know what I want You are correct learning what stands in the way of that is key! Sometimes it's dressed like a cute and fuzzy bunny but it has REALLY big sharp teeth


me BS 48
her WW 45
married 15 years
divorced
3 wonderful but hurt kids

Posts: 334 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: milwaukee
Topic Posts: 11