I'm kind of proud of myself. My late husband hurt me in the worst way possible. Yet I forgave him.....twice. I was maybe about 85% healed when we found out he had terminal cancer. I walked through hell. With him at first, and then holding him up for the last 4 months. I held his hand while he died, which was a VERY difficult thing for me to do. I honored him with a party while he could still appreciate it, that featured friends and family telling him how much he had meant to them. And then put on a lovely memorial after he died.
I am still grieving for him. I had a crying jag yesterday. I have worried about how those might affect my guy/boyfriend/lover. He says "Call me so I can come over and hold you while you cry, and you need to cry." Yesterday I did and he did.
But I am a tough and resilient woman. My gut is pretty well educated. And I have been choosing to be happy my entire life.
The start of my new love was very - VERY - confusing to me. But with much thought I decided to go for the gusto. I've been doing that my entire life and see no reason to change at age 64.
After winter comes the spring....