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New Beginnings
User Topic: Not fighting is wonderful!!!
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, April 20th (Saturday)

My D was final in Oct, but just today I realized I never have to hear his voice again (we text about kids). I never have to see his lumpy grumpy self on the couch pouting. I never have to hear his farting again. I never have to be treated badly again!!!! YAY


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1977 | Registered: Jan 2012
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, April 20th (Saturday)

it's great, huh??


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13566 | Registered: Jul 2011
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, April 20th (Saturday)

I think about this every night when I'm going to bed. I get the entire bed to myself and I no longer have him snoring and hogging the entire bed.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 822 | Registered: Mar 2013
risingfromashes
Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, April 20th (Saturday)

It is like finally breathing again. Joy!!


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1588 | Registered: Mar 2004
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, April 20th (Saturday)


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17165 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Survivor3512
Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, April 20th (Saturday)

That is great!!


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:55 AM, April 21st (Sunday)

The lack of tension in mine and my girls day to day life makes this all worthwhile. All.of.it.

Three girls in the house and yet HE was the moody biiiiarrtch. Unbelievable.

I wish I didn't have to learn that lesson the hard way but I sure am glad I did.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5441 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
newnormal
Member
Member # 21925
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, April 21st (Sunday)

My x used to have farting contests at work . I can tease my adult kids now when they accidentally pass stinky gas and say they got that from their Dad.


BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07

Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo


Posts: 1033 | Registered: Dec 2008
exhausted lady
Member
Member # 30217
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, April 21st (Sunday)

I never have to hear his farting again

Bwaahaahaa!!!

I soooo relate to that! Isn't it wonderful when you get rid of them and ALL the toxicity they brought into your life? (including the incessant farting)


Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr


Posts: 3168 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Colorado
permanentpain
Member
Member # 38312
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, April 21st (Sunday)


Me: 32 y/o, student and mom of two of the best kids in the world
Him: 33 y/o scumbag
Divorcing
Feels good to start laughing and feeling better again...

Posts: 270 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Island
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, April 21st (Sunday)

And the farting was on purpose. Yuck.

I hope she (OW) enjoys that sort of thing, it won't be long b4 he starts it up w her.

It's so nice also making my own decisions --- like sending my children to camp. They are going and he can kiss my ass!!!!


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1977 | Registered: Jan 2012
wontdefineme
Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday)

Oct for me too and the peace is wonderful.

Posts: 2129 | Registered: Mar 2011
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

Ok,,, XWH sent me an email concerning the dates he wants visitation this summer. I usually click on his emails right away, get all po'd, have to calm down, then respond.

So,,,, I'm trying something different. I haven't even opened it. YAY!! He gets a notification when someone opens his emails, so he knows I haven't opened it.

I will open it on Saturday when I am calm and can look it over. He gets first choice anyway.

I think it got under his skin bc he drove by our *oops* MY house this am.

AHHHH,,, I thank everyone on here who kept saying nc nc nc is the only way to heal....


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1977 | Registered: Jan 2012
TrustGone
Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, April 25th (Thursday)

I always love coming to new beginnings and hearing how the BS is moving on with their lives. It is so enlightening to us BS's who are still trying to figure out which way to go with the bulls$#t sandwich we have been served.

I well remember the free feeling I had after my D from XWH#1 and the things I didn't miss about him. Especially the fighting and silent treatment. I remember it being scary, but also the most fun I had in years. I did new things that I had always been afraid of before. I took more risks and really enjoyed my new found freedom.

The only thing I regret about my NB after D was that I was also vulnerable to someone like my WH#2. I wished I had waited longer before getting involved with anyone but I thought he was wonderful at the time. It really was the happiest I had ever been. I guess that's why his LTA has been so devastating to me. Hopefully my next NB will be a positive turning point. Thanks for the post!!!


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, April 25th (Thursday)

I play :-)

No more lingering smells that felt toxic after he uses the bathroom and refused to open the window.

No more watching him clean his teeth with a bitten off piece of fingernail.

No more watching him clean his ears with the cap of pen.

No more watching him pick on ingrown hairs.

No more watching him eat with his mouth open.

And, no tension, no raised voices, fun dinners with my girls, finally a functional backyard and deck.

What was I doing all these years?


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1232 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, April 25th (Thursday)

Oops, double post, was too excited :-)

[This message edited by fraeuken at 9:34 PM, April 26th (Friday)]


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1232 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
asurvivor
Member
Member # 32368
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, April 25th (Thursday)

Cleaning his teeth with a broken off finger nail...what the hell?
Who does that?


I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know.



Posts: 505 | Registered: Jun 2011
miadianna
Member
Member # 10516
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, April 25th (Thursday)

No more watching him clean his ears with the cap of pen.
I thought mine was the only one who did this. He would leave bent, icky, waxy pen caps all over the place or wherever he was sitting around watching TV. I never understood what was wrong with a Q-tip.


Me: BS 53
Son: 27 years old
Daughter: 25 years old
D-day(s) 9/23/94 - 1/31/05
Divorced 4/10/08

Posts: 7456 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Illinois
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Miadianna, I know exactly what you are talking about. Yuck It was either the pen cap or his keys.

Cleaning his teeth with a broken off finger nail...what the hell?
Who does that?

Agreed, he started doing that a few years ago. Made me gag every time.

Forgot to mention not having to deal with non-well maintained toe nails. Had to drag him to the doctor to get his toe nail fungus taken care of and ask him to cut his nails so he would not scratch up my legs in bed.

Also, not smelling his bad breath from not brushing his teeth prior to bed - wonderful.

Probably too much TMI, but I could not resist


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1232 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 19