I know you're dealing with a lot right now, hmw, but what you've posted here seems to be intentionally vague and meant as a bait for people to throw you a pity party.
I know I hurt my wife Bad. I can't say i am sorry enough.
What are you doing to show that you're sorry, rather than just saying it?
I am seeking help and went to church for first time.
What kind of 'help'? And what does church have to do with anything? Lots of people who don't sin seek the church as well...
I just can't seem to get it right sometimes and I dont want to loose her.
I don't wish to sound mean or confrontational, but this is something you're going to have to ask of yourself: why is it important to you to 'get it right' now, when you didn't obviously care before? Why don't you want to lose her? Are you still thinking selfishly about your needs (most of your sentences start with 'I' and a few mention 'I' more often than 'my wife'/'her'), rather than hers?