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Just Found Out
User Topic: It's the knowing, yet not knowing that kills me
Foolme1
Member
Member # 38606
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, April 22nd (Monday)

I haven't found hard proof yet. I found a number. His text log the past 7 days show 4 texts to me, 3 pages of texts to this one number. My cousin called it. No answer, no vm. So she texted it. They told her she had the wrong number and wouldn't tell her their name. So that got me nowhere.

Tonight is day two that he's MIA. And here I am, actually trying to find the nerve to kick him out. How stupid am I that I actually have to THINK about this? Our dd cries for daddy when he's not home. He's a pathetic piece of shit. I hate him. I hate my life. And I hate that I'm this pathetic woman who can't make him leave. I don't need him. I support myself and my dd just fine without him.

I fucking hate him. I know there's another email out there that I don't know about. I have no clue how to find it.

I just wish hed disappear. Go away.


BGF-me (31)-devoted girlfriend
xBF-him (30)-manipulative cheater
One beautiful dd. 14 years together (off and on). Married for 8 years, divorced, then "dating" for 3 more years.

Posts: 115 | Registered: Mar 2013
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, April 22nd (Monday)

I'm so sorry... that is a hard place to be in.

Just a thought - people in an Affair are usually paranoid throughout the entire thing that they're going to get caught. If the AP is suddenly getting "Who is this?" calls and texts, rest assured she's told your WS who is now making up new lies and excuses, and will try to drive this deeper underground.

On the one hand, you want to guard your sources, on the other hand, 3 pages of texts is pretty much a closed book.

Remember, just because he hasn't confessed doesn't mean he's not busted. The ball is in your court as to what you want to do, not his.

(((Fm1)))


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17787 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
isadora
Member
Member # 29130
Default  Posted: 5:23 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday)

Just take one step at a time. I know in my sitch taking that first step was the hardest. But once I did it got easier and I felt more confident with each step.

Why not start hefty bagging his stuff? It might give you the strength to take the next step.


Me: BW Him: WH
Married: 12 yrs
2 DDs and DSs all under 10
2 Affairs - 2010 year long PA/EA, 2008 2 month online EA
Multiple D-Days

I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.


Posts: 4509 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Back home again in Indiana
noprincess
Member
Member # 38660
Default  Posted: 7:09 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday)

(((Foolme1)))

So sorry you are here.

I've got to back up what Jrazz said, just because you don't have proof doesn't mean he's not busted. Keep digging.

Have you searched for the number on FB? If that's a dead-end pay for a service to do a reverse cell look-up if you must, they really don't cost much compared to your peace of mind.

Also, your profile doesn't say if you're married or not but a spouse going MIA for days is abandonment and you should contact a lawyer ASAP, if that's the case.

I know this is a brutal time you're living in right now. You will get through this. Keep your focus on yourself and your DD. You don't have to make any major decisions at the moment but you will have to keep your wits about you and stay sharp in the coming days because your partner is pulling some major shit!

Sending strength and hugs (((Foolme1))).


"Never, never, never give up." - Winston Churchill

Posts: 138 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday)

Foolme1, please remember. You don''t have to have enough evidence for a jury conviction. You only have to have enough evidence and knowledge so that YOU are comfortable making the decision. And frankly, being MIA for two days would do it for me. The locks would be changed and his wardrobe in trashbags waiting for him on the sidewalk. You can decided any time to disappear him and tell him to not bother coming back. He doesn''t make that decision, you do. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4915 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 5