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JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)

I've been considering the inevitable for a good part of a year.

My dog Charlotte is an elderly golden retriever. 12.5 years old. Vet said she's lived longer than most golden retrievers...though there are occasions where they live longer than the odds.

In the last few years she developed hip dysplasia (common for the breed). We've treated with meds and laser treatments, with some good results. Now she is almost deaf (that's okay...she hears when I yell "come great a treat"). She used to run for the treat, now not so much. She lies around all day.

Her health issues are expensive....and although I don't mind paying to a point, it's getting very difficult.

And now she has been defecating and urinating inside (in spite of going out often). Often I'll open the door for her to go out, and sadly she doesn't go out.

Oftentimes this mess happens overnight.

I'll be taking in stool/urine samples to the vet today, to see if she has picked up a worm and/or has a urinary tract infection. If yes, we can treat that. If not then I have a massive decision to make. :(

She doesn't have the quality of life that I would want for her. I know she's old, and expect her to be less active...it's not just that. She doesn't seem excited anymore. Her legs hurt (hard to get up sometimes).

And, it is expensive. And I just replaced an almost new rug (she pooed on it, and it wouldn't clean). I bought another rug, less than 2 months ago. I'm throwing this one out too.

I just spoke to the vet. After the tests, if we eliminate infections or worms, I will decide.

Unfortunately my family will be upset with me. My son just finished dog training school (he'll train people to train their dogs). Loves dogs (as do I). My other two kids are out of town....one may be able to come and visit to say goodbye, other one is across country, in a new job. She won't be able to make it.

A dear relative, husband's cousin, will definitely be upset about this. She said "we have never put any of our pets down". It's part of her belief system.

I understand and respect everybody's position...but ultimately it is up to me.

I'm so sad. I took a stool sample off the carpet. I took her outside to pee so I could get a sample. She just looked at me. She's not the happy girl she used to be. I love her like crazy. She is one of the family.

I lost my mother almost 2 years ago. She lived with me the last few years. SHe lost control as well. Because of this she had a dnr. She did not want to live like that.

And I believe I would feel that way too.

Don't know why I'm sharing this here...just feeling very sad, very scared. My dog's very last breath may be in my hands. What is the humane thing to do?


Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
yewtree
Member
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)

(((Janet)))No advice, just a hug.


Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.


Posts: 4692 | Registered: Oct 2007
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)

(((Janet)))

Posts: 35846 | Registered: Mar 2011
cryingdaily
Member
Member # 7276
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)

Awww, poor old girl.

Hugs to you


Me: BS 48
Him: Doesn't matter any more.
The Royal Court, formerly known as the Princess Posse:
DD31 - Belle
DD23 - Xena
GD10 - Jasmine
GD8 - Ariel
GD Born 9/4/12 - Tink
GS Born 6/23/2014 - Little Prince

Posts: 14400 | Registered: Jun 2005 | From: Massachusetts
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)

(((Janet)))

It's such a personal and highly emotional decision to make. But your dog is depending on you to help her reach her next journey. She's given you years of endless love and devotion, when the time is right please return the gift of love by letting her go peacefully and with dignity.

I know how hard this is...you are in my thoughts.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198255 | Registered: May 2002
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)

Thank you for the replies. I am literally in tears right now.

The hugs are much appreciated.

Deeply Scared, your words are so kind.

I'm contemplating not even getting the fecal/urinary tests. The vet put it this way..."if you eliminate that it is not a fixable issue you can feel more comfortable putting her down". But, even if we fix these things, dear Charlotte is declining anyway. How far should I let it go. While she is still reasonably comfortable seems better, to me, than waiting till she is in pain.

Golden's are prone to cancer. It is entirely possible she has that and we don't know it. If so, she may be in a world of hurt soon.

Her days are numbered at this point in time. I'm getting closer to my decision. It's killing me.

[This message edited by JanetS at 11:41 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
stupidwoman
Member
Member # 17472
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)

My baby (16 year old mix) did the same thing. Soiling in the house may be due to pain or canine cognitive dysfunction. Does your pup pace? Whine for no reason? Get stuck in furniture? Probably CCD. My Lokie took anipryl for this for about 6 mos. Her quality of life just slid down hill and she went to the Rainbow Bridge in June. You know your dog best and you will know when their quality of life is just not there. Saying goodbye to your dog when they can not live without pain is the hardest and kindest thing you can do.


ME- BS
HIM-WH Douchbag
D-Day 2/11/07 (an old high school friend of his)
D-Day 9/24/07 (a 19 year old girl!!!!)
He left 2/11/07
He left me again on 11/29/07

~~
No kids
Married 10/03
HAPPILY DIVORCED March 2008


Posts: 179 | Registered: Dec 2007
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)

Stupidwoman (change your name...you sound smart) :)

Yes, Charlotte does pace. And she yelps out (not like pain, just like she wants out the door to pee...but I open the door and she does not go out).

She'll do this in the middle of the night too. Also, her night vision is bad (going blind I believe). She won't come up the stairs without the lights on....and often she doesn't come upstairs anymore. She always used to come up and sleep in my room.

I haven't seen her stuck between furniture yet.

I don't know if Charlotte is in great physical pain yet. She was some month's back, but laser treatment helped a lot with that. To me, it's knowing that she will get in pain, probably soon, and I don't want to see her get to that point. And dignity. Dogs do not like having accidents. Maybe they remember that when they were puppies they were praised for doing it outside. They learned they don't do this inside. If I had to go out for a whole day Charlotte would hold it. Once I opened the door she would go outside and do her business. They know the difference.

And he is a big dog to wash, and the only shower I could wash her in is under construction.

:(

[This message edited by JanetS at 10:51 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
Newlease
Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)

I personally think it is the humane thing to let her go quietly and peacefully. In fact, I think sometimes we treat our animal family better than our human family.

I held one of my cats as she went on to the next journey. She had been sick for a long time and I kept nursing her back, but she wasn't having any quality to her life.

First the Dr. gave her a shot to make her sleep. She drifted off peacefully. Then he gave her the shot to end her life. She just slowly stopped breathing. It was sad, but also very peaceful.

At the end she suffered from dehydration, dizziness (she would walk in circles), loss of hearing, and just a general malaise. I had her spend the night at the vet's a few times on an IV to get her rehydrated. She was on a couple of medications that were hell to get her to swallow.

I cried my eyes out, but I know I gave her a good life and a dignified death.

Sending strength and peace.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7739 | Registered: Aug 2005
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)

(((Janet))),

I understand how you feel. We had a lab mix (our first dog together) who was getting old, and started having back problems. She lost the use of her back legs for the most part, and we had to walk her outside with a towel as a sling so she could stand. Paid a couple of grand for surgery, and she was good for about a month. Then she regressed, and the vet believed that they must of missed some impingement further up her spine. We decided to put her down. We held her and looked in her eyes during the procedure. I can't describe it any more without breaking down right now, but as we were leaving, the vet assistant ran out with tears in her eyes and handed our check back to us that we paid for putting her down. They were pretty heartbroken too. It was sad, but it was time. Her quality of life was gone, but she lived a good long life and was always loved. Cedar was our first dog together, we raised her from a puppy. We called her Cedar because the day we picked her up the bedding they used was cedar chips, and she smelled like it the whole way home. It never is an easy decision, and it's a very personal one for you. I think one of the hardest parts of owning pets is outliving them.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4002 | Registered: Dec 2011
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)

Janet...

Everything that Newlease shared about the experience is exactly how it happens. It's very peaceful and calm...there is no pain, they just shut their eyes and drift off.

I've never not stayed in the room and held our pets during this process. I always want my voice to be the last thing they hear.

Charlotte sounds like a wonderful girl


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198255 | Registered: May 2002
lost_in_toronto
Member
Member # 25395
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)

I have looked into my cat's eyes as we said goodbye, and held my dog as he took his last breath.

They were terribly sad moments, but also incredibly beautiful. I was with them in their last moments. I personally feel that making this decision for a pet is one of the heaviest responsibilities of sharing our life with an animal. Heartbreaking, but you know when the time is right.

Talk to your children now, so they can be prepared when the time comes.

Also - it is none of your cousin's business. I can think of a few things to say about someone who would never put an animal down, no matter the circumstances, but I will hold my tongue. As should she!

[This message edited by lost_in_toronto at 11:29 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)]


Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.
Reconciled.

Posts: 1677 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)

The cousin is a wonderful kind person....I truly love her. She has a right to her opinion, as I do mine. My opinion is in line with the kind replies I've received here.

I just spoke (cried) to my husband on the phone (we have a long distance marriage...he's in another country) He visits often.

He had a suggestion. That we get a dog house, and leave her outside quite a bit during the summer. We have a lovely fenced area. She can bark at the squirrels and birds. If she messes, it won't be on a carpet. I'll set up a chair out there and read so she'll have company. My son's dogs will be on the other side of the fence...visible but they won't get in her space.

From her space I can open the door to the pool. we have stairs, and she likes to walk in, take a lap or two around it and get out. That way, even in hot weather, she will be able to cool herself down.

But personally if I see her in pain, or witness a decline I have to quickly make a decision about her life.

I love this dog to pieces.

[This message edited by JanetS at 11:41 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)

I'm getting attitude about this at home. My son/fiancee just came in. I told them about what was going on (asked son to help me move furniture off the carpet so I could toss it).

I said that vet was going to check the samples. I mentioned that vet had stated that Charlotte has lived longer than most golden retrievers. She said "yes but she is doing amazing". There will be strife if I do this...but I will do the backyard thing first.


Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
lost_in_toronto
Member
Member # 25395
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

Sorry! I didn't mean to sound so harsh about your cousin; i was trying to get across that it is your decision. We all have strong opinions on this issue because we all love our pets. It is hard not to let your family sway you! I know they love her, but you are living with her and know her better than anyone. You will know when the time is right.



Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.
Reconciled.

Posts: 1677 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore
PippaPeach6
Member
Member # 37523
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

It's such a personal and highly emotional decision to make. But your dog is depending on you to help her reach her next journey. She's given you years of endless love and devotion, when the time is right please return the gift of love by letting her go peacefully and with dignity.

((((janet))))

We have had to sadly say goodbye to several pets. There is a time when you will know, and you will be at peace knowing they are beyond pain. To my great sadness, I have been selfish enough to ignore the time when I knew. We had a wonderful dog that had bad days and then good days. I ignored the fact that there were really no "good" days. She started suffering one night, there were no vets available. I spent many painful hours at her side until she passed. I would have done anything,anything to alleviate her suffering. It would have been much kinder to have let her go peacefully in my arms a few days earlier. . .

You have my prayers


Us: 50ish, madhatters, married 20 odd yrs
TT: May 2009 'til June
DDay for both: June 17, 2009
Me: 2x, same person, 1991
Him: 1.5 year PA (EA?) 2007-2009
Reconciled

Honey Badger don't care. - Randall


Posts: 386 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Flyover chic
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

I'm going to monitor like crazy.

Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
JustAShadow
Member
Member # 38370
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

((((JanetS))))

It is such a hard decision and I do think that you will know when the time is right for you and Charlotte (which may be now or later).

Personally, I believe that quality of life is extremely important (for all of us) and that sometimes putting down a little early is better than putting down a little late but that is just an opinion. And gauging when that point is...a challenge?

I feel your pain though - it is so hard to make that choice. I recently had to put down my best horse who had been with me for 33 years (longer than my kitties and doggies).

Know that your years of loving Charlotte and daily affections are all known to her and, when the time is right, to have you near her when she passes is a gift.

Keep watching and you'll know.

Now she is almost deaf (that's okay...she hears when I yell "come great a treat").


I LOVE that the call for treats comes through still!!


ME: 41 - Madhatter, 2 PAs, 1997, 2003
Him: 35 - Madhatter, 2 PAs, 2004, 3/2012 - 3/2014
Status: Living Apart

Posts: 200 | Registered: Feb 2013
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

Now, some call that selective hearing. I think it's God's way to make sure she still gets her treaties. :)

Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
woundedwidow
Member
Member # 36869
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

JanetS, I'm going through the very same thing right now with a 17-yr old cat who I know has cancer in her foot. It is sometimes so difficult to tell when our fur babies need to be let go. I have always stayed with my kitties when they had to be euthanized due to illness (six so far, and one dog), and it was VERY hard, but I never wanted them to make that last journey alone. YOU are the only one who should be making this decision, and not getting any grief for it either, as it is obvious that you are very compassionate and loving toward her. My prayers are with you and Charlotte.


Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.

Posts: 395 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: VA
JustAShadow
Member
Member # 38370
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

(((Wounded)))

Hugs and strength as well to you and your kitty.


ME: 41 - Madhatter, 2 PAs, 1997, 2003
Him: 35 - Madhatter, 2 PAs, 2004, 3/2012 - 3/2014
Status: Living Apart

Posts: 200 | Registered: Feb 2013
Afraid2LoveAgain
Member
Member # 11185
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

I'm so sorry about Charlotte. I think you will know when it is time for her to go. You will feel it in your soul and know that it is the humane thing to do. I had a rescue Pointer who had heart worms. (Curses on people who don't give dogs heartworm meds.) I spent all the time and money to have her treated but she simply couldn't recover. Her breathing was laboured and she was so miserable that I agreed for the vet to put her down. I held her as she eased out of her life of pain. As strange as it sounds it was a spiritual moment to watch her beautiful soul move on to the Rainbow Bridge.

I also put down my sweet mare when she was 35 years old. I held her head and she nuzzled and made the beautiful soothing sounds that she always made when we would hug. I saw in her beautiful eyes that she knew how I loved her and that she was sorry to leave me. I had raised her from a foal and loved her beyond reason.

My thoughts for you and Charlotte as you take the next steps of your life together. I wish you peace in your decision.


BW -- 57
Divorced 2001
Re-married 2014--on what would have been our 35th anniversary

Posts: 426 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: NC
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

Thank you everybody. I will keep you informed. Today I'll go out and buy a dog house...the nicest one I can find.

She has given us such love and joy. Never bitten a soul...except for our ankles when she was a teething puppy, and a few chair legs. Never growled in anger. Never ever showed anything but love.

A few month's back, when her hind legs were in pain in the middle of the night, I brought down my pillow and lay right with her, eyeball to eyeball. Took her to the vet the next day...started laser treatment, significant improvement day one, and over the course of 7 treatments (over a few weeks) she was back to normal almost. And she started running again (for treats). I used to make her sit to get her treat. I stopped that when I realized it was hurting her to do so. She has a lot of latitude now.

I hope she likes her dog house. I'll bring her in at night. If it's hot before I open the pool I'll bring her in too. And I'll shave her (we do this most summers because it's so darned hot).


Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
Exit Wounds
Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

(((Janet)))

Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
amitheow
Member
Member # 4691
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

You do what you need to do but with the cousin ... why does she need to know what happened? Dogs die ... can't you just tell her Charlotte passed away. At her age, it's belivable. It's not really your cousins business how Charlotte goes, you know?

Do your plan for now but when you know, you'll know ...


Old Timer, Just here to help
My screen name is: Am I The Ow? - Not Ami the OW.

Because in my situation I didn't know if I was the OW at first or if I was being cheated on. Found I was being cheated on.


Posts: 5085 | Registered: Jun 2004 | From: Texas
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

((( Janet )))

I have had 2 goldens, and they are the sweetest dogs in the world. The first one we had to put down at 13 d/t bone cancer.
My second one just passed away this winter. He had K-9 lupus, and had a multitude of health issues. He got to where he couldnt get around. We had made a decision to take him the next day to do the deed, and alas he passed in his sleep that night.

It is painful when a family member passes. They give us such joy when they are here. I will be thinking and praying you have peace and comfort to ease this process.

((((Janet))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8698 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
somanyyears
Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

..(((((Janet)))))

3 cats here....and i will fall hard when they leave us..

..at my age, i could easily go before them!!

..our pets are pure joy and so easy to love., and hard to give up

smy

[This message edited by somanyyears at 3:56 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)]


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4129 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
sadtoo
Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

(((Janet)))
Be careful about the pool. When they get old (and confused) she may think she's going for a drink and fall into the pool.

I too have had to go through this. It's never easy.

My thoughts are with you and your beloved Charlotte.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 8032 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
Mousse242
Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

Putting your pet down is humane. It's giving them a quality of life instead of making their suffering linger longer.

It is naturally ingrained in our pets (animals in general) to not show pain or weakness. By the time they show symptoms the pain is pretty bad.

I had to make the same decision about an elderly dog I had. 16 years, accidents in the house were increasing and we just didn't have the $$ to put into treatment when the inevitable was coming.

At 12.5 your pooch has lived a long, wonderful life. Putting her down would be the right thing to do. Dogs are generally clean by nature. For her to defecate and urinate inside, she knows is wrong. And the fact she is in that kind of pain doesn't help.

((hugs))


Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

Janet,

I had to make the decision to put down our golden, She was 17yo. She was deaf, going blind and was suffering from dementia. It was a tough decision to make. But once it was made, the way the vet and his staff handled our family was wonderful.

I looked into her eyes before we took her in for a quality of life check up. and it was as if she gave me permission to sign the papers. Before we went to the vet.. she got her perfect day... everything she ever loved we did.

We visited her favorite lake, she got to eat her favorite cookies - chocolate chip, she got to eat a brownie with chocolate frosting. Ice cream .. Everything she loved and the foods that were not good for her ... she enjoyed. By the time we got to the vet she was full, happy and tired. She was given a shot and she went to sleep looking at me.. almost thanking me for her wonderful day. It was peaceful and beautiful just like my lovely Murphy.

Hugs, You will know when it's time.. Charlotte will tell you.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5262 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)

I didn't get to the vet today (waiting on my brother from out of town who arrived very late). Charlotte had an okay day. No more accidents inside. I got the stool sample. I tried catching the urine with a margarine container. She wasn't interested in that....she waited till I stopped hanging around with a container under her butt, then she went pee. Silly girl.

I think I'm getting myself emotionally ready...and prepping those who love Charlotte as well.

Thanks for all the words of support. Each and every post meant a lot to me.

Sad too, thanks for mentioning the pool issue (which probably won't open for at least another 6 weeks). My vet did mention that the females are more prone to urinary tract infections because they scooch down to the ground and pick up germs...so yes, a pool might not be the best for her. I'll check with the vet.

Mousse242...your dog lived for 16 years...that's amazing. You must have taken very good care of your puppy.

Kajem...a golden lived to 17 years...that's way past average. That's amazing. They really do become a huge part of our lives.

Tushnurse...two goldens. You were doubly blessed. I love these dogs. I love most dogs, but always loved goldens. Did not have a pet as a child (lived in apts....I did have a budgie if that counts LOL).

Charlotte just walked up the stairs in the dark and pawed my door to be let in. That's a good sign.

I'll watch her carefully and listen to my gut (which I might add is a good barometer of things in my life). If the accidents ease up, and she still walks the stairs, and still eats her food like there is no tomorrow (and checks on the counter in case I left something too close to the edge) then, for that day, it'll be a good day.

Charlotte is a sweetie pie.

[This message edited by JanetS at 11:26 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, April 25th (Thursday)

Janet the last few months my Harry was around was a constant questioning of myself should I take him today? He would have days where he couldn't walk hardly at all, and then he would rally and have a good week, If it had been my decision alone I would have taken him sooner. I know he must have been in pain for the last bit.

I got our first Golden for my H when we were still in college. He lived long enough to see the arrival of both kids. He was the best dog ever. The second one was a sweetie, but not very smart by Golden standards.

I have always had big dogs, and usually a couple at a time. We are currently down to one lab, and I plan on keeping it that way, as the kids are getting older, and will be off to college sooner than I realize. I want to be able to pick up and go without the hassle of finding someone to care for the herd. LOL But I digress.

((((Charlotte)))) Sweet old gal.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8698 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
cantbelieve
Member
Member # 22028
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, April 26th (Friday)

((JanetS))

Just praying for you daily. The struggle of making a decision like this is so hard on the body and soul. It's been almost 3 years since I had to put my Woody down and I still have "Woody" moments, but one thing that helped (and it took me awhile) was adopting another dog. He makes the hurt not so bad.


Me: BS (58)
Him: WS (58)
LTA 4 years with co-worker
DS(26)
DD(23)
DD(20)
Married 29 years
D-day1 5/08
D-day2 11/08
Status: 6 yrs and wondering if I'll ever be truly happy again

Posts: 1069 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: DFW
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Janet, you have a PM. (((Janet)))


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7278 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, April 27th (Saturday)

I've been offline for a few days.

Charlotte has had a few good days. No accidents. A little stiff on the hind end. No whimpering. And, the coupe de gras (spelling?) I caught her with her front paws on the counter to see if we had left any food there by accident (we know better than that)...but she doesn't give up. That's a good thing.


Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, April 27th (Saturday)

(((JanetS)))

Never an easy decision. You will know when the time is right. I'm glad Charlotte has had a good few days.

Sending good thoughts.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37999 | Registered: Sep 2007
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, April 29th (Monday)

((( Janet )))

I did want to say that for all of my dogs, when I knew their time was limited they pretty much got whatever they wanted, and like Kajem, we gave them a perfect day when it was time. It makes it a little easier to let go, when you know thye have a tummy full of cheesburgers.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8698 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, July 17th (Wednesday)

I put Charlotte down last week, will be picking up her ashes later today.

She had diareah for about a month, losing weight. Vet told me that diareah hurts her just like it hurts us...cramps. And she was losing it inside the house all the time. I had to throw out a bunch of rugs.

And her hind quarters were getting very weak. Charlotte likes to follow me around, including up/down the stairs. But she kept splaying when she couldn't lift her hind up. One time it happened 3x just coming up. I had to lift her, which also is not safe for me. And I really feared that she would go falling down the stairs and break a bone. I did not want her to have the pain of the diareah that wouldn't go away, and I did not want to have her risk the pain of a broken bone.

It was very peaceful. Vet gave her a shot to tranquilize her (she never seems to have any problems with her shots, so no biggie there). She wandered around for about 15 mins. then sat down, then went to sleep (tranquilized sleep). Then she got the shot in the leg, and she was passed almost immediately. One loud breath and she was at peace.

I miss her. My son was angry, till he saw how heartbroken I was and he gave me a lovely long hug.

I know I did the right thing for Charlotte.

[This message edited by JanetS at 11:11 AM, July 17th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, July 17th (Wednesday)

(((((Janet)))) I know it's a very personal and difficult decision. I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm certain you did the right thing when you knew it was time.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198255 | Registered: May 2002
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, July 17th (Wednesday)

(((Janet)))

I'm so sorry for your loss.


Posts: 35846 | Registered: Mar 2011
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, July 17th (Wednesday)

(((Janet)))

I too am sorry for your loss.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4002 | Registered: Dec 2011
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, July 17th (Wednesday)

Thanks DS. I think I'm feeling it more right now than the day of??? Maybe I was in a bit of shock, I don't know. Now I sense her absence.

In the almost 13 years she was with us she never growled, even once. Happy and sweet-natured...how lucky we were to have her in our lives.


Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
Mommato4
Member
Member # 15906
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, July 17th (Wednesday)

((((JanetS))))

I'm sorry for your loss. Sometimes the hardest choices to make are indeed the right ones.

I went through that 8 months ago with my jack Russell. So difficult because he was just shy of 6 years old. Kidney failure. He laid in my lap as they gave him the medicine to put him to sleep. I got to stay with him as long as I wanted. I had him cremated and and they made a paw print. He sits on the mantle so he is here with us everyday.


Updated 2014:
BS-me 41
XH-doesn't matter
4 kids
Divorced-7/25/08

SO-5 years together-he decided to end it by cheating too


Posts: 1379 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: PNW country
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, July 17th (Wednesday)

While I was responding to DS I received new condolences. Thank you all. (I never thought of a paw print). I'm thinking of maybe planting a rose bush and having her ashes placed there, then she'll be part of the living plant.

All of us here share the "infidelity issue", but we also share so many other common experiences. And clearly having to lose a loved pet is another common thread. I feel for all of those who've been through this sadness. Pets really are part of our families.

[This message edited by JanetS at 11:28 AM, July 17th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, July 17th (Wednesday)

(((Janet)))

I'm so sorry. It's heartbreaking to have to make that decision, but you did the most loving thing of all for her. Trust in that.


Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.

Posts: 13806 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)

((((Janet)))) I'm so sorry for your loss. What a lucky dog she was to have such a long and love-filled life with you.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25716 | Registered: Aug 2011
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)

I'm so sorry, Janet. Hugs.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7278 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
Mommato4
Member
Member # 15906
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)

. I'm thinking of maybe planting a rose bush and having her ashes placed there, then she'll be part of the living plant.

That's sounds wonderful.


Updated 2014:
BS-me 41
XH-doesn't matter
4 kids
Divorced-7/25/08

SO-5 years together-he decided to end it by cheating too


Posts: 1379 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: PNW country
woundedwidow
Member
Member # 36869
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)

JanetS, I'm so sorry you had to make that final decision for Charlotte, but you should be proud that you helped her to be pain-free and happy on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. She was very lucky to have you as her doggie Mom. I know you must miss her lots, and I hope your sorrow lessens daily. (((Janet)))


Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.

Posts: 395 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: VA
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)

(((Janet)))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)

I am terribly sorry for your loss Janet. I believe you did what was best.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44948 | Registered: Sep 2006
juliette
Member
Member # 9635
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)

So sorry for your loss Janet. I remember Charlotte. She was a great dog.


Me : BS - 40
Have a son (Romeo) - 14 years


Well this April's Fools Day joke sucked big time.


Posts: 11472 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From: ontario
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)

Thanks Juliette. You know, she was quite a "fat girl" for most of her adult life. And she went for food as if we did not feed her at all. Once her hind legs started having problems we put her on a Prescription weight control. We got her to a nice perfect weight which she held for a couple of years. Then we put her on Prescription joint development, because of her hips. But for the last few months she was losing weight and looking skinny. Not a good look for her. If somebody will tell me how, I will post her picture.

Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
Afraid2LoveAgain
Member
Member # 11185
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, July 18th (Thursday)

I'm so sorry. Charlotte brought so much love and joy and now I know you have a big hole in your heart.

Big hugs.

I read this recently:

People are born needing to learn how to live a good life. Dogs already know how, so they don't have to stay around so long.

I'm tearing up just thinking about how hard it was for you to lose Charlotte but I think it is the greatest love of all to let her go on to the Rainbow Bridge.


BW -- 57
Divorced 2001
Re-married 2014--on what would have been our 35th anniversary

Posts: 426 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: NC
Afraid2LoveAgain
Member
Member # 11185
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, July 18th (Thursday)

Just wanted to add...

While I was growing up, my Mother always said, after a beloved dog would die that she did not want another because losing them was so hard.

Every time, a few weeks later, my Dad would show up with a new pup.

And Mom would fall in love again. (With both Dad and the new pup.)


BW -- 57
Divorced 2001
Re-married 2014--on what would have been our 35th anniversary

Posts: 426 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: NC
dreamlife
Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, July 18th (Thursday)

I'm so sorry.

(((huge hugs)))


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25435 | Registered: Sep 2005
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, July 18th (Thursday)

((((Janet and Charlotte)))

I have thought about you both a few times sinc your orginal post in April.
I am glad that you were able to have a bit more time with her.

It is soo hard when they pass. I am actually crying right now. I lost 2 dogs, and my cat last year between Feb, and Dec (they all had long good lives). It is sooo hard. A Rose for her would be wonderful. If you do some research I'm betting there is even one out there called the Charlotte.

((((and peace))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8698 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, July 18th (Thursday)

Continued thanks for all your wonderful condolences.

I won't get another dog. Charlotte was for the kids...even though, in the end, she was really MY dog. But I want the freedom to travel (husband lives/works out of country).

If I wanted a new dog my son's dog just had 8 babies. They asked, I said "no, but thanks".


Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
soverybetrayed
Member
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, July 18th (Thursday)

Janet, I am so sorry for what you are going through and I know how much it hurts even though we know it is the right thing to do. It is because we love them so much that we make the tough decision to let them go across the Bridge. My heart goes out to you and your family. Just know that you did the right thing for your sweet baby.


Me-53
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1208 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Texas
lost_in_toronto
Member
Member # 25395
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, July 18th (Thursday)

(((Janet)))

I am sorry for your loss and glad you have the support of your son.


Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.
Reconciled.

Posts: 1677 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

I still miss her, but I'm okay...we're all okay. I have no guilt, I know I did the right thing.

Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
Topic Posts: 61