WS is not able to comfort me when I'm upset, not because she doesn't care, but because it's so upsetting for her to see me upset that she can't function like she should
So our A related conversations are frustrating to her and we don't have them as often as I need although we do have them and she answers questions etc.
This is very much like my WH. But with a very strong difference. My WH went NC immediately, even before I asked (cause initially I threw him out). So he dumped MOW of his own volition on Dday.
My WH was in love with a fantasy and MOW was the focal point of that fantasy. When the rainbow farting unicorn went up in a poof of smoke on Dday he no longer had a use for MOW. In fact, now that he can see reality he is nauseated by her.
It was plainly obvious that WH wanted nothing to do with MOW after Dday.
That being said, my WH has significant FOO issues and his ability to support me was severely stymied. He has a LOT of difficulty coping with someone else's emotions. He doesn't want anyone to have them. He panics. Just like your WS. He recognizes this and is learning that it is not all about him and how to be supportive.
I see a constant upward trend in this ability. The slope is not steep but it is not trending down ever.
So I think the fact that your WS took so long to go NC is disconcerting and supportive of option B.
BUT if her ability to be supportive is trending better (and better than prior to her A) than it may just be that she is overcoming a lifetime of habits to the opposite and it has nothing to do with a lingering desire for her AP.
Have you two figured out WHY she had her A? Does she know what was broken in her? Why were her boundaries and coping mechanisms so bad?
Other questions you need to ask yourself are:
1. Is her ability to support trending up, down or plateauing compared to what it has always been?
2. Why is your gut screaming at you? Why are you not trusting your gut?
You are a remarkable woman to take her back after she betrayed you during your pregnancy. She distanced herself from you during a time that should have been one of the most joyful of your lives.