Thank you all for your replies
Lucky, authenticnow and MrsDoubtfire, your replies had me smiling from ear to ear. I love this new intensity. I thought I was in love with my H pre A but this renewed love we have now is a whole new level.
I was sacrificing my own happiness (my choice) in order to 'help' my H through his pain for years. I thought that was how to love I guess and never felt as though I deserved more due to my own FOO issues. It was when I did start to put myself first that my H became more lost. Opportunity presented and for reasons we have discovered since, my H made some terrible choices and engaged in his A with an old HS 'friend'. (thanks FB)
Now, H puts me and our marriage first. His victim mentality has gone and he has become accountable. I no longer feel the need to be his 'savior' and I am now his partner. We are now a team like authenticnow discussed.
Our psychologist has helped us develop our skills in resolving conflict and giving each other space when needed. We have been able to fine tune these so that we both feel safe and respected when we do disagree. I'm finding that we hardly ever engage in arguments now. I guess that can be put down to the patience and respect we now have for each other.
blakesteele, I am so happy that my post can offer you hope. Overcoming infidelity really is a hard road to take but I believe that it is achievable when both BS and WS want it bad enough to do the work required. I hope that your journey continues in a positive direction
Pudding, I'm happy things are going along well for you too. All the best for a great future
SoVerySadNow, I totally agree with you that I am keeping part of my heart guarded. I too have spoken to my H about this. He understands. It makes him sad that he created this as I really am an optimistic, trusting and loving person by nature. He feels that he's responsible for 'breaking' me and I appreciate him acknowledging that. The gift I have given him in return is the promise that I will do the work to 'fix' myself. I have asked that he be there to love and support me through my healing and I have to say that these last few months he has exceeded my expectations. There comes a time where we have to take that leap of faith. I feel like I'm running to the edge and just holding back at the very last moment. I know I'm going to jump. I guess time will give me the courage I need.
Best wishes to you all. I wish you all a life full of healing, love and happiness.
Your replies are very much appreciate. Thanks again