So after nearly 3 mths of supposed R, where WH has professed to want to make things work out for the children, but yet he's continued to gas light me. We've been on 2 family long weekend trips, we've had couples counselling, he's been giving me mobile phone and credit card statements, though not giving me access. He swore there was NC apart from one short text, since mid Feb.
I even let him go on a supposed football trip as I thought the break would do us good and I wanted to trust him, he was supposed to come back with an audit trail of evidence to prove where he'd been, he came back with just a few bits, plus a printout of all his credit card bookings. I still believed him, though I was a little uneasy about it, and therefore why I set about trying to find out and contact OW
However I've now discovered that he actually went away with OW, he'd gone to extreme lengths to provide evidence, even waiting for a flight to come in to get match tickets from people who'd been to the foreign games and booking flights and hotels, for which he never used, he went to a completely different country. This was last month.
I know all this because I spoke to OW, who was shocked to discover that he was married, had a young child and a pregnant wife when their affair started ! The ironic thing is that she wasn't that into him, she definitely doesn't want him now. He told me that she knew the truth, I've had her number for a while, but didn't call her for fear of upsetting him and provoking her to contact him again, what a mistake ! He's totally played me.
I've given him chance after chance, even our MC said that I've been very tolerant.
I was so desperate for R to work that I ignored the signs, he has more feelings for OW than for me, he feels more guilt towards her than for me etc. etc.
Yesterday when OW told me about the holiday, I'd finally had enough, I put all his stuff in a bin bag and left it on the doorstep, he came home we talked, he filled in the missing gaps then I told him to get a cab and he left.
I suppose I needed to know how much he could trample on me to finally get the strength to kick him out. OW says if she'd have known the truth she would never have got involved with him.
It's over !Me - BS 42
Him - WH 41
D day 8th Feb 2013
D day 2 24th Feb 2013
Together 15 years, married 7
2 children 3.5 years and 6 mths old