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User Topic: Some dating wisdom
Bluebird26
Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 5:05 AM, April 26th (Friday)

A friend just shared this on FB, it is allegedly from Oprah Winfrey but you never know who or where it originated from on FB but some wisdom I wish I knew so long ago....

HEAR WHAT OPRAH WINFREY HAD TO
SAY ABOUT MEN :

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending... Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE
individuals. Look for someone complimentary...
not supplementary.

Dating is fun... Even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes... When a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him ~ he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil says... You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts...


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1348 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
turned123
Member
Member # 33663
Default  Posted: 5:55 AM, April 26th (Friday)

It's hard not to take this personal maybe every time she says man we could substitute shitty partner


me BS 48
her WW 45
married 15 years
divorced
3 wonderful but hurt kids

Posts: 334 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: milwaukee
Bluebird26
Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 6:06 AM, April 26th (Friday)

Sorry didn't mean to offend the male population, it does say that men are NOT all dogs though, which I think is a good point!


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1348 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
turned123
Member
Member # 33663
Default  Posted: 6:35 AM, April 26th (Friday)

All good here!!! Really just proud of myself for not turning into a dog. I could have but it's just not me so I like to remind the gals out there some of us are pretty competent partners just like all of you


me BS 48
her WW 45
married 15 years
divorced
3 wonderful but hurt kids

Posts: 334 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: milwaukee
torn2bits
Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Bluebird, great reminders in this article! I think its straightforward and to the point. No rules, just do this or do that. Easier when the heart isn't leading the brain.

Turned, well its good to know you found out your not a dog and in good company here.


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 5