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User Topic: So....date recap!!
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
DOH!  Posted: 8:10 AM, April 26th (Friday)

Hey ya'll!!!

So here is how everything went last night! He texted me about 10 minutes til 6 to let me know he was up the street at a collegue's house and that he would be by soon! He ended up being 10 minutes after 6 which irked me a little only cause I was on limited time.....He came to the door and I had a "mixed" reaction! I think that he is very cute! Nice face....cute smile! Only downfall....he was actually shorter than me..and I had on a pair of my lowest sandals....(I wear a lot of heeled shoes). I think he is around either my height or an inch or 2 shorter....

So...we walk out to the car and he has to get in on his side to unlock my side (something is wrong with the door lock) and he asks me if I want to get Vietnamese instead of Thai cause of a recommendation he got from his collegue. I say, SURE...and we go to this local "hole in the wall" place. It was almost dead....but the food was pretty good. I've never had Vietnamese before! 1st time for everything!

We talk a lot about our commonality....which is the hash running group and how we got involved with that. A few small things...he "rents from his mom" currently.... not sure what that means..and I didn't DELVE into details on that one.... He talked a lot about some of his nerd obsession with video games and anime...and that sort of thing..... (a little odd....but I tried to show interest)

He kept me laughing and he told me a lot of interesting stories from college and about his family. He did pay for the meal and he opened the car door for me when we left.... although we had an ODD awkward few moments when he dropped me off cause I was rushing (I was late picking up my daughter by almost a half hour and I had to go so I could get her. He had been talking and I didn't have the heart to interrupt him at the restaurant until I realized I didn't have a choice.) He unbuckled his seatbelt....(not sure why....) and had this weird look on his face.....so I hugged him and thanked him for dinner. Told him I had a good time...and enjoyed talking with him. Said a few other "probably over the top" niceities.....and then bolted for my car.

I don't know if he was trying to feel me out if he should attempt a kiss or not...but I'm glad he didn't. I don't like to kiss on the 1st date. SO......I did text him later and apologized for having to run out but that I had to get my daughter and my sister was doing me a favor. He was really nice about it.

After I had gone to bed....he texted me asking me how tall I was!

If I had to rate the date.....um...maybe a 7? I was a little disappointed he didn't compliment me at all....no "you look nice" or anything.... BUT, I had a decent time....he kept me laughing.....we had a few awkward moments....and at the end of the night I wasn't ready to bolt...I actually wished I had more time to spend with him. How do people find time to date as a single mom? I mean...I don't have a whole lot of options on childcare.....so I think I might be screwed....

I should just call up the SPCA now ....get me a few cats...and throw in the towel! That was exhausting!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:13 AM, April 26th (Friday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2717 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, April 26th (Friday)

Aww, I think he sounds nice! Give him a shot, Shelly. You were talking on your first post about him about how different he is from the guys you normally date. The guys you normally date sound kind of like super hot meatheads. Not a lot of substance. This guy sounds really different. But trust me - nerdy guys are amazing! It's an adjustment for sure, but a guy who isn't so in love with himself has room in his heart to love a woman! Seriously... (Sidenote: I've had my fair share of hot guys, like the marine I briefly dated during separation, or the brazilian soccer player who I had a ONS with last winter, and I would NEVER actually date them. Bounce a quarter off their ass? Sure. Lick their abs? Definitely. Date them? Hell no. But a guy who can carry on a conversation, pays attention, goes out of his way to pick a nice restaurant for dinner? That's the kind of guy I want!)

Even if it's a little awkward, it's the first conversation you guys have had - it's bound to be a little awkward! It always gets easier as you get to know the person). And don't trash talk on video games, there are much worse things for guys to be into (like other women ) unless he's obsessed and plays hours every day. So he didn't compliment you on looking nice - I've found guys who give too many compliments are looks obsessed (including their own), and the sweet, shy guys sometimes get overwhelmed and don't know how to say it. It's kind of cute when they get flustered.

Re: Living with his mom - I'd ask why. The why can change a lot. I know a lot of people who have had to move back home for one reason or another, and it's better than sinking into debt or something, right?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13690 | Registered: Jul 2011
sudra
Member
Member # 30143
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, April 26th (Friday)

A 7 doesn't sound too bad for a first date.

I'd want to know if he actually lives with his mother...

And please, don't let the height thing matter - my sweet son is a whopping 5'4" and full grown at age 17 (we had him tested as we aren't short) and I think a girl of any height would be lucky to have him!

If nothing else - you did it!!


Me (BW) (54), Him(SAWH) (57)
Married 21 years, 1 son (19), 1 stepdaughter (27)
DDay #1 January 2004
DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)
Working on R

Posts: 1457 | Registered: Nov 2010
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Exclaimation  Posted: 9:48 AM, April 26th (Friday)

I think the height thing might bother HIM a little bit since he asked me how tall I was....poor guy... I must admit I kinda felt like an Amazon!

and I would NEVER actually date them. Bounce a quarter off their ass? Sure. Lick their abs? Definitely. Date them? Hell no.

Yes...I agree! My XWH and Piper's sperm donor were both good looking guys with pretty much ZERO substance! XWH might have had a little more than the donor.....but not by a lot! This is definitely an adjustment. I think the mom thing scared me a little cause the sperm donor has lived in mommy's basement for 10 years now.....no good excuse except pure LAZY ASS-NESS...

I'm not writing him off just yet.....gotta kinda feel out the situation and see where it goes.... not sure why he took his seatbelt off last night in the car.... do you think he was contemplating "To pounce or not to pounce.... that is the question!"


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2717 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, April 26th (Friday)

He might have been planning to walk you to the door. A lot of guys will do that.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13690 | Registered: Jul 2011
jennie160
Member
Member # 29949
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, April 26th (Friday)

I have to agree with Ama. This guy sounds nice. It can be good to step away from your typical type, especially if that type has only brought you trouble in the past.

I find the awkwardness a good thing as well, I personally am very awkward until I am comfortable with someone. To me, it shows that he isn't full of himself, he may not always say the right things at the right time but he also is more likely to not be the type of guy who just tells you what he thinks you want to hear to win you over. I also don't give many complements but when I do I truly mean them and I'm not just saying it to make the person feel better about themselves or because it's what I should do.

Maybe his mom owns rental property and he is taking advantage of a good deal to get back on his feet. Many of us on SI could use that opportunity. The video game and anime would concern me a little but I think that's just because XH was addicted to video games and I am leery of anyone that lists that as one of only a few hobbies.

If this guy asks, would you go on a second date?


Posts: 921 | Registered: Oct 2010
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, April 26th (Friday)

Sounds like a good time. You should see him again if he asks.

He probably unbuckled his seat-belt out of habit. I wouldn't read too much into that.

Definitely find out more about his living situation when you can. It's possible that he rents a place that his mom owns, or has his own living space within his mom's house. My SO was still living at home when I met him. He was still in undergrad and working full time. There was no need for him to move out and make more bills for himself!


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4149 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, April 26th (Friday)

If this guy asks, would you go on a second date?

Yes...I think I would!

He DID tell me that his mom owned rental property.....so I'm "hoping" he truly is RENTING from her but doesn't live with her..... #bestcasescenario

That is true about the walking me to my door....I didn't think about that! I actually jumped out of his car and INTO mine cause I had to go pick up Piper....and he even offered to drive me to go get her, but I told him I needed my car because of the carseat... so...it was a sweet gesture anyways...


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2717 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
idiot85
Member
Member # 38934
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, April 26th (Friday)

I feel like I'm listening in to girl talk- it's bringing back memories of listening to my sisters when I was a kid haha

-Don't throw a shoe at me

-incidentally I always take my seatbelt off when dropping someone off- I think it's in case I need to get out for some reason or if I'm going in for a hug, so I'm not restricted ha


BH-29 (me)
WW-28

Multi famam, conscientiam, pauci verentur.


Posts: 575 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Old Blighty
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, April 26th (Friday)

Aw... sounds like a nice time overall, Shell. And yes, he was probably thinking of walking you to your car.

I'd find out about why he's living with his mama, though. After XSO, I'm reeeeal leery about stuff like that!

Glad you had fun. 7 isn't bad at all.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15383 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, April 26th (Friday)

I feel like I'm listening in to girl talk

You totally are.

:throws slipper at idiot85:


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13690 | Registered: Jul 2011
Pass
Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, April 26th (Friday)

If this guy asks, would you go on a second date?

Shelly, dude, you answered Yes to this question. Let me ask you a follow-up question: Why don't YOU ask HIM out?

... what with it being 2013 and all.

If he's really as shy/insecure as he sounds here, he may be thinking you wouldn't want to go out again, or just be scared about asking.

Ask him out, dammit!


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1840 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, April 26th (Friday)

t/j
Bounce a quarter off their ass? Sure. Lick their abs? Definitely.

Ama - you are a bad girl!
end t/j

Shellybeanz, sounds like a lovely time


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4610 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 4:33 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Do I need to say this? NO BOYS ALLOWED!

I must admit that pass had a good question...why don't you ask him out? That would be kind of cool.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7569 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Survivor3512
Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Yay, Shelly! So glad you had a good time!


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Wink  Posted: 7:54 PM, April 26th (Friday)

WELL..he didn't ask me out again....YET...BUT..there is a hash run tomorrow night and I haven't been to one in a LONG LONG time.... and he told me that tomorrow will be his 50th run! I asked one of my friends if they could watch Piper for me so I could go....and I think I'm gonna go to the run! That way....I get a little more time around him...even if its not one-on-one time!

Today he texted me asking me how tall I was...and I said 5'6"...and he said I was "definitely" taller than him yesterday and he is 5'8"....and I told him it must have been the heel on my sandals cause I PROMISED I wasn't an Amazon!

He just replied... I think a tall Amazon is kinda hot.. OH MY....


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2717 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Bounce a quarter off their ass? Sure. Lick their abs? Definitely. Date them? Hell no.


Oh Ama, I just had my dating life flash before my eyes. Cute and dumb used to be my fortay. So weird that I ended up marrying ugly and dense.

Slight t/j
She11ybeanz, I always thought I was tall - like 5'10" or something. I only realised recently that I'm only 5'6". I guess I'm in heels so much I got used to the thinner air up there.

So nice to hear someone call 5'6" Amazon!!

I went out with a guy earlier this year who was 6'5" and I felt like a shorty even in my highest heels. We had a flat shoe date and it just didn't work for me. I prefer them around my usual height, y'know. 5'10".


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5535 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
torn2bits
Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Ama, sooooooo funny!

So glad you had a great date! My DD is 5'11" and her boyfriend in 5'6"!

I have been called amazon woman at 5'9.5" and with some of my heels on I am 6'1" tall. I don't mind. I love being tall.

Bring it!


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, April 26th (Friday)

ended up marrying ugly and dense.

Well looks aren't everything, but stay away from the dense ones!


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13690 | Registered: Jul 2011
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 2:40 AM, April 27th (Saturday)

Bugger that - the next guy to break my heart is going to be b.e.a....utiful.

I reckon it will suck less. At least I will be able to look at pretty whilst he is being a douche. The fact I stayed when he has a face like a smashed crab AND was acting the douche still annoys the hell out me.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 2:41 AM, April 27th (Saturday)]


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5535 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
TrustGone
Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 5:38 AM, April 27th (Saturday)

Ya'll are too funny!!! I needed a good laugh today. Thanks.

Shelly...I am so glad he was a nice guy. There are some out there you know, so I hope it works out for you. Have fun at the run!!!


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
curiouswiz
Member
Member # 34405
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, April 27th (Saturday)

I think the run is just the ticket! Not exactly asking him out as Pass suggested but a good way to get to see each other interact with other folks.

Just fabulous..this thread made my face smile..I think it's going to hurt later.

I hate to watch guys bounce dimes off their butts, it gets boring. Especially when they roll over like good dogs wanting a belly rub but they do it themselves. And really they can't take their eyes off of their own wonderfulness.


God bless us, everyone.

Posts: 633 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Boston
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, April 27th (Saturday)

I've HAD Beaaauuutiful before.... it gets boring!! My ex-husband had the nicest ass though! It was like a big round bubble butt! He would be SO freakin popular in jail!!!

But....I need more substance now than just good looks. I'm tired of emotionally unavailable men who's only show of emotion is if the gym closes on a snow day.... NO THANKS...


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2717 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
k94ever
Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, April 27th (Saturday)

Yup...ask him out. He's probably scared poopless at the thought he might see you again and whether or not you will speak to him.

Ask him out for coffee or something.

And thanks for the update.

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6520 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
CheaterMagnet
Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, April 27th (Saturday)

t/j You are ALL amazons!! SAWH and I are both only 5'4" and *I* am the amazon in my family! The women in my family are all under 5'4" and them men are all over 6'. Tell me how we do that one!
end t/j

Congrats Shelly!!! I am so happy to see YOU so happy.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1025 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, April 27th (Saturday)

In college...I dated "pretty". Never worked out really well. STBX was by far the most unattractive man I dated, his personality won me over. Now look how that turned out! I look for substance, if it is in a pretty package, then it is a bonus, not a requirement.

I'm 5"2 I've dated as tall as 6'4. Funny, lots of guys commented on how happy they are that I am tiny. But, my BFF's husband loves that she is tall and willowy. To each his own.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4113 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
JessicaFL127
Member
Member # 26864
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, April 28th (Sunday)

Sigh. Never mind, I just got home from work and say the other post. Move along, nothing to see here...

[This message edited by JessicaFL127 at 10:52 PM, April 28th (Sunday)]


BW,32
divorced for 6 years
mom to two awesome boys,10 and 9

"But you said your vows, and you closed the door
On so many men who would have loved you more" -Cath, DCFC

"The most amazing things can come from some terrible lies"


Posts: 1244 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Missouri
Bebba1171
Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, April 29th (Monday)

I enjoy these stories and the comments, so you definitely need to keep dating - if not this guy another one.

Tesla and PHMH need to also be contributing to these stories.

I have met both of them and they are both very, very attractive.

Their problem is that they are way too old and too slow for a youngster like me.

Shelly, I am happy for you. All you runners are so cool.


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 726 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 28