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New Beginnings
User Topic: Nobody to call
Pass
Member
Member # 38122
Angry  Posted: 2:24 PM, April 26th (Friday)

So I was doing the forty-minute walk downtown to meet a friend for drinks last night, when I had a seizure. Luckily, I landed on someone's nice soft lawn instead of the road or sidewalk.

I've had epilepsy since I was 17, but only have seizures when I'm severely lacking sleep, or don't take my medication. I had missed a couple of doses because I had run out of pills, and hadn't had time to get to the pharmacy. I also hadn't been sleeping well lately. [Mental note: Find a full-length mirror and kick myself in the arse.]

The ambulance guys asked me if there was anyone I could call. Unfortunately, all my family lives elsewhere. The only person I really have in this city is Swamp Thing. I said I don't have anyone - which was a little sad.

Anyhow, they were very nice about it, and even gave me a ride back to my place.

It just sucks not having that default person to call for everything. I never thought that would happen. That's just one more reason to be mad at her.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2080 | Registered: Jan 2013
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, April 26th (Friday)

((((pass))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25716 | Registered: Aug 2011
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, April 26th (Friday)

((pass))

I'm so glad you're okay!!

During my divorce, I reached out to a friend from church (we weren't very close then; we are now) and asked if I could use her as my emergency contact for things like my yoga studio. She was very nice about it, and I actually think it helped to facilitate the growth of our friendship, because it kind of clued her in to the fact that I needed people.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13797 | Registered: Jul 2011
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Glad you are OK, pass.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3432 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, April 26th (Friday)

(((pass)))

I'm glad you are ok.


Posts: 35846 | Registered: Mar 2011
shyguy
Member
Member # 18281
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Hang in there!


Love stinks yeah yeah(J. Geils)

Posts: 5866 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: tulsa
cayc
Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Aw Pass, I hear you. I'm 46 and my *mom* is listed as my emergency contact. Sigh.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3119 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
dlmos
Member
Member # 36839
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Sorry pass, glad they gave you a lift back home.


BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6
Divorced

Posts: 461 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Fort Worth,Texas
LadyQ
Member
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 5:23 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Glad you're OK. It does suck though, when you're filling out paperwork, and there's no one you can list for "in case of emergency"


Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
Survivor3512
Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, April 26th (Friday)

(((pass))) I'm so glad you're ok. It does suck, but it won't be that way forever. Your new beginning will be filled with all kinds of friends and relationships. You'll have a phone a friend in no time. :)


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, April 26th (Friday)

((Pass))

I understand totally.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7761 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
notmeanymore
Member
Member # 9772
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, April 26th (Friday)

I have no one close by either.

Glad you are ok.

Take care of yourself (my nice way of kicking you in the arse)


"Put the cuckoo back in the clock baby" - Four Brothers

Posts: 872 | Registered: Feb 2006
Pass
Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Thanks kids. This is the first seizure I've had in almost 10 years, and it must have been a mellow one, because my muscles are nowhere near as sore as they were last time.

I'm feeling okay today, and have my kids with me for the weekend. Weekends are great, because I'm hanging with my boys. The week can suck as much as it wants, but I'm happy to have the bubs arrive on Friday night.

STBX asked me if I'm "still hanging around the infidelity sites" with a facial expression like she was smelling a bad fart. Of course I am. Y'all are my community.

Even when I'm not posting or responding, I'm reading. I feel your pain, your joy, your warmth and compassion.

Thanks for being here.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2080 | Registered: Jan 2013
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 11:23 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Glad you're ok and not feeling as bad as you might. Hopefully you refilled your meds.

DS has had seizures in the past but doesn't have a seizure disorder or meds. I know how the after affects can be. He's my contact for everything.

Take care of yourself and have a good weekend with your boys.

BTW, what happened with the friend you were on your way to meet?


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2381 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 11:54 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Totally understand. Had to give my roommate's number for emergency contact the other day at the ambulance.


Glad you are okay. Talk to some of your friends to have them listed as emergency contact.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:56 AM, April 27th (Saturday)

I have had to ask people who I barely know at church if I could list them as emergency contacts. I became so isolated during my marriage I had no friends, didn't even know my neighbors, no family in town. Going through this divorce has forced me to reach out to people and ask them to extend themselves towards me. On the plus side, I've become friends with these people!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9820 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
TrustedHer
Member
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, April 27th (Saturday)

Offered for your information.

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/news/media/releases/Modified_Atkins_Diet_Can_Cut_Epileptic_Seizures_in_Adults

I have no experience with this, but this is not the first time I read this.


Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5181 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
Pass
Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, April 29th (Monday)

Hmm. Eat more meat. I'm cool with that!

Thanks!


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2080 | Registered: Jan 2013
5454real
Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, April 29th (Monday)

STBX asked me if I'm "still hanging around the infidelity sites" with a facial expression like she was smelling a bad fart.

You shouldn't know the answer to this cause I know you're NC except for kids and finances, but why would she give a shit?

Glad you're ok.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2978 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Pass
Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, April 29th (Monday)

You shouldn't know the answer to this cause I know you're NC except for kids and finances, but why would she give a shit

After I told her it was none of her concern anymore, "Oh. I was hoping you had moved on."

She just doesn't get it.

[This message edited by pass at 11:23 PM, April 29th (Monday)]


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2080 | Registered: Jan 2013
ShellyBean2012
Member
Member # 36268
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, April 30th (Tuesday)

I can totally relate, Pass. It stinks when these little reminders crop up to remind us how alone we really are.

I cried so hard the first few times I had to fill out medical paperwork. I live in a city with no family and my friends aren't close by.

Finally, I talked to my BFF and she told me I could use her info for emergencies. She's been my friend longer than I've known Dumbass, and she's been more consistent in every way for me too. Even though she lives several miles away, she'd come in a heartbeat if I ever needed her. Something my Ex wouldn't do when I was assaulted in a parking lot.

One thing about D, you really do find out who your friends are.


Me: BW (44 yo then); Him: WH (46 yo); No kids
DDay: 6-15-12
M 13.5 yrs; T 14 yrs (at the time)

Onward!


Posts: 225 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: the South
foxglove
Member
Member # 21791
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, April 30th (Tuesday)

It's difficult to feel as though you don't have anyone to call. I remember the first time I had to fill out paperwork and had to think about the emergency contact person.

I have three other friends who all became divorced around the same time I did. We all lived very similar lives-demanding careers with travel, college aged kids, and aging parents. After one of our group of friends had a family emergency, we decided to exchange house keys and contact information.

We've all exchanged house keys, as well as keep a spare hidden outside the house. We also have the information written on where we keep a spare key. The spreadsheet also has contact information on closest neighbors, family members contact information and who to call in what order. For example, I have an adult son who is my contact person, but in an emergency, they now know what his phone number is. They also have my mom's name and phone number, just in case.

We've also agreed to tell each other when we go out of town for work or to see kids or parents, so that someone knows where we are on the weekends when we might not come in contact with someone between Friday and Monday.

We've used our keys and call system on several emergent and non-emergent situations. We've been using our system for so long, that we actually need to update information. I think it gives each of us a sense of security.

Take care of yourself.


Me (BS)47
XH (WS)53
Married 21 years
Divorced 2/19/07
Two sons 21 and 23 in college

Posts: 1462 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Northern Michigan
yewtree
Member
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, April 30th (Tuesday)

I'm sorry Pass. You will soon fill in all of those gaps.

I hope you are feeling better.


Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.


Posts: 4692 | Registered: Oct 2007
EvenKeel
Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, May 1st (Wednesday)

My moment like that came when I got a belly bug and thought I was doing to die. Like sleeping on the bathroom floor sorta bug. The realization that I had no one to call to bring me Ginger Ale was disturbing.

Now I keep a basic supply of flu-friendly stuff: ginger ale, chicken soup, etc. Doesn't feel nearly as pitiful that way.

It is funny what we do now. I do have an emergency contact but other aspects of my life I find ironic now.

Like I have a very small amount of money stashed somewhere. I told my co-worker where it is with orders if anything happens to me to go get that darn money so it doesn't get accidently thrown away.

(Don't worry...the amount is so small that I am sure she won't just knock me off to get it)

[This message edited by EvenKeel at 11:56 AM, May 1st (Wednesday)]


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2176 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 1:56 AM, May 2nd (Thursday)

I have no "in case of emergency" person either and I've had to tell dr. that as well. It sucks. :(


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:33 AM, May 2nd (Thursday)

STBX asked me if I'm "still hanging around the infidelity sites" with a facial expression like she was smelling a bad fart.

"Interesting. I see you're still a skanky arsed hobag too. Ah, the bad old days".


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Sunnie
Member
Member # 33406
Default  Posted: 6:15 AM, May 2nd (Thursday)

I'm in the same boat. I use my brother even though he lives 2500 miles away and couldn't do much if anything happened to me. My BFF travels for work all the time, different time zones, spotty cell phone coverage etc... so that would not work well. I also need to find someone to exchange keys with. I locked myself out once and had to get the neighbor to call my landlord. It was really embarrassing but I discovered that my neighbors are really friendly and social and about my age, so we ended up exchanging keys. Unfortunately they are moving away at the end of June so back to the drawing board


Me: BS (32)
Together: 14 years
DDay: May 18, 2011
Separation date: November 18, 2012

Posts: 73 | Registered: Sep 2011
ninebark
Member
Member # 24534
Default  Posted: 7:13 AM, May 2nd (Thursday)

Sorry to hear of your troubls Pass! I hope you feel better soon. And the swamp thing comment made me giggle a bit.

Ironically my emergency contact are my former inlaws. They are wonderful people...it always amazes me that they spawned such a selfish snot.


BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

Posts: 630 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Canada
foxglove
Member
Member # 21791
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, May 2nd (Thursday)

Now I keep a basic supply of flu-friendly stuff: ginger ale, chicken soup

I do this as well just to be on the safe side.

I also have a co-worker who is instructed that in case anything happens to me that she is to empty out my night stand so that my adult sons don't find "BOB".


Me (BS)47
XH (WS)53
Married 21 years
Divorced 2/19/07
Two sons 21 and 23 in college

Posts: 1462 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Northern Michigan
dscl
New Member
Member # 38463
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, May 2nd (Thursday)

Hey Pass - I know how you feel. Had to fill out my insurance paper work for the year at work and had to list my mother as an emergency contact, she lives more than 700 miles away from.

Posts: 1 | Registered: Feb 2013
woundedwidow
Member
Member # 36869
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, May 2nd (Thursday)

Pass, I completely understand how you feel! I still list my sister in PA as my emergency contact. When she moves to CA this year, I will truly be the most alone I've been since my husband died in 2008 (no kids.) Since we just settled Mom's estate (she died in January), I plan to tie up all loose financial ends and pre-plan all end-of-life issues, including continuing pet care for my kitties. If need be, I'll just dial 911 and leave everything else up to G-d, the doctors, and my estate attorney. It sucks, but I'd rather be prepared for the inevitable. Now, for illnesses like hideous, both-ends-at-once flu, I call my yard guy to go to the store for me. He also takes me to the doctor when I get shots in my neck (spine). He's a big, kick-ass ex-Marine, and I'm lucky I have him to help me out, even for pay.


Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.

Posts: 395 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: VA
Pass
Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, May 2nd (Thursday)

Yep, I finally managed to meet up with my friend for dinner and drinks - who I was on my way to meet when I had the seizure - and told him my sad story. This was after a few drinks of course.

He called me something obscene and said I could always call him. That's man-talk for "I give a shit, but let's not talk about it!"

I'm slowly learning that I have good friends.

It's funny how I was ignoring my friends for all these years in favour of my wife and her friends, when she turned out to be the one I couldn't rely on. And you'd better believe I haven't been hearing from her friends!


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2080 | Registered: Jan 2013
traveldad
Member
Member # 34047
Default  Posted: 11:25 PM, May 2nd (Thursday)

I understand, as my username suggest I travel a lot on business. My XW would always want me to call her, no matter how late I got in. The first time I walked into a hotel room and realized my calls were no longer welcomed by her was a little sad. My daughter took her place in a hurry. You need someone to go to.


DDay January 2010
Divorced July 2010...broke up 2 families
Contented single dad of 2 grown sons and two daughters.
XW talks to kids about once a year

Posts: 54 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Southwest
tabitha95
Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 1:37 AM, May 3rd (Friday)

My never been married, no kids neighbor who is 43 had a stroke. I'm going over with another neighbor to bathe her a couple times a week since she can't control her right side. Her brother, who is disabled, had to move in with her.

Everytime I go over there I think how this could be me. How I don't have that special person who is supposed to take care of me either!!!


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
Topic Posts: 34