SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
New Beginnings
User Topic: Dad's letter to daughter.
Betrayal
Member
Member # 9898
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, April 26th (Friday)

I came across this on FB, and I'm not sure it's ok to post the link(drkellyflanagan) so I copied and pasted the text, in hopes of helping anyone that "forgot" about self worth. I WISH my father was as open as this guy is about teaching her how worthy she is, aren't we all? Yet, as did I, we forget and get caught up with people that do NOT deserve an ounce of OUR interest.
"A Daddy’s Letter to His Little Girl (About Her Future Husband)

Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:

I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.

I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

You.

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.

Your eternally interested guy,
Daddy."


Me,38 BS
Divorced
Married
DS Born 9/6/10

Posts: 2220 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From: IL
million pieces
Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, April 26th (Friday)

Wow, thanks for sharing. We all need to hear this


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 11
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1231 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, April 26th (Friday)


I don't think it could be better said.

love this


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20323 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
turned123
Member
Member # 33663
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, April 27th (Saturday)

So... I have two daughters... and now I'm crying.


me BS 48
her WW 45
married 15 years
divorced
3 wonderful but hurt kids

Posts: 334 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: milwaukee
Betrayal
Member
Member # 9898
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, April 27th (Saturday)

I cried when I read this as well. It's really sad to think about how when my now H was showing such interest in me when we first began dating that I wondered what was wrong with him..


Me,38 BS
Divorced
Married
DS Born 9/6/10

Posts: 2220 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From: IL
Topic Posts: 5