SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: Yikes
catlover50
Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, April 27th (Saturday)

So our DD is home from college ( yes I know it's early). Puts a bit of a damper on us, plus I've been in pain from a injury for two weeks. I have been thinking and talking some about the A, which I haven't much lately. H is worried DD may hear. We haven't told our college age children any of this. R has been going very well.

She was aware of DDay #1-- I told her we were divorcing and she had heard us fighting over the 2 years of calls/ texts.

I just imagined telling her, sorry honey, he was actually having sex with that woman for almost 4 years!

And it just crashes down on me again. Of course she would expect that I would have thrown him out. I think she wouldn't respect me. I have this thin suit of armor around me--he was damaged, he's changed, it wasn't about me, blah, blah, blah.
Then I'm hit again--he f&$ked another woman for four years. Yikes.

[This message edited by catlover50 at 5:33 PM, April 27th (Saturday)]



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1748 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, April 27th (Saturday)

For us, it's a little tough when DD is home from college. We have gotten so used to being able to just talk freely and sometimes I get a moment of panic when we do, realizing she is home.

It's a lot of pressure feeling torn and pulled in different directions.

I think it's important for you to find a safe, private place to talk to your H about your feelings when you need to.

I hope your injury heals quickly.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38013 | Registered: Sep 2007
Conflicted1
Member
Member # 39019
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

With you catlover50. My oldest daughter who is married now is very judgemental about my being a "doormat" as she puts it. I'm not sure she will ever respect my decision to reconcile. Heck some days I am not sure i do.


Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people.

Posts: 101 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Me=BW 45
catlover50
Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, April 28th (Sunday)

Thanks guys! Got some sleep last night and was able to ride my bike today!

Conflicted, I'm having one of those days myself. Sometimes it just really hits me. I'm trying not to react, since the feeling usually goes away.



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1748 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
scaredyKat
Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, April 28th (Sunday)

I just wanted to commiserate with you. DS#1 lives with us part of the time. It definitely hinders "open" communication, read "letting it all out." It isn't easy, now that we have learned to be honest.

I just wanted to tell you that I feared what would happen if my two DSs found out that I stayed with a FWH. And mine is a F SA...my kids are wonderful, and I'll bet your DD would be, also. They were 21 and 25 initially, I told them only a little, but they know most of the story without the gory details. They are getting to know their dad, with his faults and all, and knowing each other as adult men.

I think it may be different with a girl. I sense that girls may feel more betrayed by a wayward father. IDK.

But hugs anyway. I think whether you choose to tell her at some point or not, you deserve to have her support, not AGAINST her father, but as a woman/friend, as your relationship evolves. At that time, maybe it will be time to tell her the story.


Me-BS-60
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3653 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
catlover50
Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, April 28th (Sunday)

Thanks scaredy kat.

Having one of those days and constantly have to be aware of where she is. I may have to tell her one day, but I'd rather she didn't know at this time.

This stuff just sucks!



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1748 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
Topic Posts: 6