SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Just Found Out
User Topic: Anyone have idea/advice on sleeping
savvy
Member
Member # 39102
Default  Posted: 2:47 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

Does anyone have any idea on how to get back to sleep. I wake up in middle of night and my mind wanders and can't get back to sleep....I hate this

[This message edited by savvy at 2:47 AM, April 28th (Sunday)]


me-BS (49)
him-WH (49)
2 children 21 and 19
Together 30 years
Ow-(30)and she knew me knew he is married.
D-day 1 4/24/2013
D-day 2. 7/9/2013. Day after anniversary
D-day 3. 8/12/13.
Filing for divorce

Posts: 135 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: connecticut
fadedrainbow
Member
Member # 9280
Default  Posted: 3:08 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

((((Savvy)))) I think you should go to your GP and explain the situation. He/she may be able to give you something to help you sleep. Sadly the no sleeping/waking up thing can go on a very long time but does eventually get better. I am experiencing the same thing now as my XH told me he had a girlfriend. I push the mind movies away and think of something else. I am so sorry you are going through this. It sucks.


me: FBW
D-Day May 2005
divorced December 2009


Posts: 132 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: UK
savvy
Member
Member # 39102
Default  Posted: 3:21 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

Thank you. Yes I guess I'll have to contact my doctor. I'm also sorry to hear your having this trouble. The middle of the night is a lonely time!!
And those mind movies really suck!


me-BS (49)
him-WH (49)
2 children 21 and 19
Together 30 years
Ow-(30)and she knew me knew he is married.
D-day 1 4/24/2013
D-day 2. 7/9/2013. Day after anniversary
D-day 3. 8/12/13.
Filing for divorce

Posts: 135 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: connecticut
Safeguard
Member
Member # 38899
Default  Posted: 3:25 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

Add me to the insomnia list...

I saw my Dr and it turned out I was Anemic, got prescribed some iron.

Now when I can't sleep, I take an over the counter supplement, called NatureMade Melatonin+ it has L-theanine in it, as well as Camomile, passionflower and Lemon balm. It just works.


"since your actions don't match your words, excuse me while I stop believing you."

Posts: 143 | Registered: Apr 2013
savvy
Member
Member # 39102
Default  Posted: 3:34 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

My brother told me about melatonin I will have to give it a try


me-BS (49)
him-WH (49)
2 children 21 and 19
Together 30 years
Ow-(30)and she knew me knew he is married.
D-day 1 4/24/2013
D-day 2. 7/9/2013. Day after anniversary
D-day 3. 8/12/13.
Filing for divorce

Posts: 135 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: connecticut
Dawn58
Member
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 4:57 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

I have not had a good night's sleep for months. It's nearly 3 am and I am still awake. Sometimes taking a bath before I go to bed will help relax me. Classical music. No triggers in my bedroom, which meant replacing all the linens.

I trust that I will sleep. In the mean time, this site is a real saver when it's late at night and i can't sleep!!

anne


I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 465 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
Mikey56
Member
Member # 38063
Default  Posted: 5:56 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

Exercise helps me. When my body is tired it is much easier to get to sleep.

Posts: 113 | Registered: Jan 2013
savvy
Member
Member # 39102
Helpless  Posted: 6:12 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

I did kayak yesterday for a few hours so I didn't have trouble falling asleep its waking up at 12 or 1am and not being able to stop the thinking... and when i do sleep I have dreams about him

I just want the pain to stop and life to be normal again


me-BS (49)
him-WH (49)
2 children 21 and 19
Together 30 years
Ow-(30)and she knew me knew he is married.
D-day 1 4/24/2013
D-day 2. 7/9/2013. Day after anniversary
D-day 3. 8/12/13.
Filing for divorce

Posts: 135 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: connecticut
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

I am 1 year and 4 months since Dday, and Divorced.

I STILL wake up thinking about this stuff in the middle of the night -- thinking about all the different angles, etc.

However, when I can get out of town it's totally different. I guess because there are other things to occupy my time/thoughts.

I most enjoy going to my hometown and visiting old friends and family.

Planning a trip to florida now and really excited to use it for therapy, not wishful thinking of "him".


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1948 | Registered: Jan 2012
sparklingwater
Member
Member # 38792
Default  Posted: 6:52 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

I haven't had a good solid sleep for a while now, but because I'm drained I find I can nod off for a few hours here and there. I just try and get as much sleep as I can, and when I wake up I usually read for a while or put the radio on low and listen to it with my eyes closed, anything to get my mind off emotional crap for a while.


Newly single and trying to find my feet.

There's always light at the end of the tunnel, just pray it's not a train.


Posts: 104 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Australia
RockyMtn
Member
Member # 37043
Default  Posted: 7:01 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

Have you tried meditation/breathing exercises? I find that guided meditations are best when my mind is in a particularly wandering mood. There are many, many designed for insomnia. I use my phone (podcasts) for guided meditation. You could do that or I think you can listen on your computer, CD, etc.

I would try something like this before going to the doc and getting a scrip.


Me, BS, 30s
Him, WS, 30s, Steppenwolf
Kids: Yep
D-Day 1: September 2011, 6 week EA
D-Day 2: January 2013, discovered EA was a PA; there was another PA in 2010. All TT.
Goal = serenity.

Posts: 667 | Registered: Oct 2012
mchercheur
Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

If I take 2 regular aspirin ( not tylenol, ibuprofen, or naproxen) I sleep SO deeply, works like a charm. My Dad, who is 89 & still sharp & working full time, told me about that trick. Has been working for him for years.


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1337 | Registered: Dec 2012
Dawn58
Member
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 10:37 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

I can't give a whole lot of advice on sleeping as I still struggle with that!! First thing, if there are any triggers in the bedroom, get them out!! Do not read anything that might upset you before you go to bed. For me, I can't journal too much late at night because that can get me going, unless my head is full of stuff, then try to get it out. Mind movies are bad at night, so I gently try to redirect my thoughts - turn on the TV or think of something else. Warm baths, candles, cup of tea - anything that soothes you.

I also just try to be gentle with myself, if I am not sleeping, but laying down and resting, that is good. Over time, I have found that I do sleep a bit more - some nights are better than others!!


I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 465 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
27yearsnowlost
Member
Member # 38787
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

I have tried everything including Zanax. It work for about 4 to 5 hours then I wake up. It is very hard to stop thinking. The mental movies that go threw my head, the whys, the how could he to take to us, etc.....


Bw (me) 47
WH (him) 59
D day 3/7/2013
Married 26 together 28
2 adult sons 25 and 22

Posts: 167 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: nj
sad12008
Member
Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, April 28th (Sunday)

As a scientifically oriented soul, I'm all for better living through modern chemistry. If melatonin doesn't work for you, see your doctor about getting something to help you sleep. I take Ambien (NOT the CR variety, as it leaves me groggy as all get out) and it's been an absolute Godsend. Insomnia tears down your body in a number of ways, and the last thing you need when you're already under extreme stress is extreme fatigue.

You can split 10mg tablets and take a tiny 1 or 2 mg 'nibble' of the Ambien if you awaken in the middle of the night (they're actually selling this as a separate prescription now, I believe). Very helpful.

Alternately, I also have a 'script for Xanax for PRN use; if anxiety is what's making me remain awake, I'll take .5 or .25mg of that in lieu of the Ambien. Just something to squelch the racing thoughts and worries can be enough to allow sleep to return.

Good luck...I was a 'no medication purist' for the longest time, then was given Ambien during a pre-DDay extreme stress period of time. I avoided taking it for the longest time, but finally did, only to kick myself for being so stubborn and not taking it sooner.

You might also try a white noise machine (I have a Marpac Dohm sound conditioner); they can be very helpful in allowing the overactive mind to settle down.

Good luck.


"Everybody's life is hard. You look at life, and it's not a cakewalk. You've got to be able to bounce back." --Neil Young, father to two children with CP, another with epilepsy, and otherwise experientially qualified to comment

Posts: 3853 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
Topic Posts: 15