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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Gee, OW... guess you've never listened to The Beatles...
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, April 28th (Sunday)

She apparently has never heard the song, "Can't Buy Me Love."

Every time STBX brings her around the kids, she buys them something. How totally pathetic and transparent.

Why are they such ridiculous cliches? STBX has turned into Disney Dad, taking them places and doing "fun" things all weekend, and the OW bakes for them and buys them toys and candy. While I'm grateful that the kids aren't being abused or neglected (though OW hasn't moved in and settled down with STBX yet, so they're still living in Unicorn Skittle Fantasy Land), I just can't believe how perfectly they're following the chapter of the Cheaters' Manual entitled, "How To Win Over The Kids In The Most Superficial Way."

It's amazing how all of the unremorseful cheaters and their APs behave in the EXACT SAME stupid ways. Just when I think that my STBX might be different, might show better judgment or more maturity... he reverts to type.

I hope they know that the chapter "How To Pretend That Life Is Still About Unicorn Skittle Farting Over The Rainbow Even Though Real Life Has Set In, And It Sucks" is coming up soon.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3572 | Registered: Oct 2011
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 6:36 PM, April 28th (Sunday)

UGH! I feel your pain. In the same boat, minus the OW (as far as I know).


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9489 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
PurpleRose
Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, April 28th (Sunday)

Clearly, the Wayward/OW way of thinking isn't "top of the class"...

they never read ahead.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3541 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Snapdragon
Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, April 28th (Sunday)

When I was a child of divorce, my father was the Disney Dad. His only way of showing his love was by spending money. I saw through it. I hated it. It made me VERY uncomfortable.

I knew that it was my mom that actually knew how to take care of me. That she did not spend gobs of money on me or take me to all the fun places for kids did not bother me one bit. I never expected it. I didn't resent her that she didn't act like she was trying to "win" me and my siblings.

Kids are not stupid. They know when an adult is genuine and when they are not. They know when someone is trying to "win" and impress them. Ultimately they have little respect for those that provide Skittles and go-carts and a ton of respect for those that make them brush their teeth and help them with their homework.


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3077 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:11 AM, April 29th (Monday)

They can probably hack this bullshit for 48 hours EOW. But yeah, that they don't think about the consequences and damage they are doing baffles me. You know what, stbx and ow probably get a great high doing all this shit, thinking they are providing something the custodial parents can't. What-fucking-ever.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4608 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, April 29th (Monday)

"We" have this happening now. STBXH claims to be minimal "Fun Dad", but still DD returns from the visits with a new thing or out to eat every single time.

We are in financial stress and I've even sent groceries to cook, like for dinner, and he does not. It truly shows differences in frames of mind.

DD had a very hard time this weekend, because though Fun Dad kept to the usual time table patterns he makes with her, he failed to follow through on phone calls, which are really important to her. So she ended up in tears and talking about lying last night.

I am typical mom, left with the routine, homework, brush your teeth, but what seems to be happening slowly through Fun Dads "mistakes", is that DD is seeing for her own that "all that glitters is not gold", which is a line another BS uses about her kids seeing their dad for the way he's changed.

I get very, very angry when it comes to her and kids being hurt by As, because they didn't choose to be born into their situation, they just kind of landed.

What a great post, SnapDragon. I too am a product of divorced parents, though I was older. My dad was more serious and every day and still is 15 years later, going into their elder years.

My mom is finally having to have consequences for impulsivity and ironically, staying with him would have put her in a nice elderhood, but instead of working on problems, she snuck off.

I agree with your points about it and also find that I take my dad more seriously than my mom and there isn't a ton of trust for my mom, even after all this time has gone by.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2197 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 6