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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Using my daughter against me
bwok3
New Member
Member # 38423
Shutup  Posted: 1:29 PM, April 29th (Monday)

So big fight this morning. Everytime I cauze waves he uses the kids against me. Our daughter has gone to south america for a 3 week trip and I just got told i am not allowed to go with him to pick her up from the airport. I dont drive in the city so he has me there. All because I was miffed that he started banging in the basement early this morning on my fist day of vacation in 6 months!!!! Oh and he has also been conversing with his old girlfriend and very nicely telling me all about it.


ME: 46 BS
HIM: 49 WH
Married 28 years
Separated
DD 21
DS 27
D-day-1 1986-but still denies it to this day
OW#1 PA - I think it was just a one night stand
D-day 2 Sept 25-11
OW-#2 EA & other online crap
Filing for D soon

Posts: 36 | Registered: Feb 2013
Undefinabl3
Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, April 29th (Monday)

Hide the keys, take a cab.....

(((Bwok3)))

I am sorry he's using the kids against you...its very low and not mature at all


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1684 | Registered: Sep 2012
bwok3
New Member
Member # 38423
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, April 29th (Monday)

Thx Undefinabl3 but i cant take a cab as the city is over 2 hours away.

He then proceeded to tell me that he has been nothing but nice to me in the past couple of years (we have been together for 30!) Ok so, when he was seeing her in the past 2 years he was being nice?


ME: 46 BS
HIM: 49 WH
Married 28 years
Separated
DD 21
DS 27
D-day-1 1986-but still denies it to this day
OW#1 PA - I think it was just a one night stand
D-day 2 Sept 25-11
OW-#2 EA & other online crap
Filing for D soon

Posts: 36 | Registered: Feb 2013
Ann124
Member
Member # 29289
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, April 29th (Monday)

Yes, he's being a jerk (to put it nicely) but you have three weeks before your daughters return ... I would just ignore him and make sure I was in the car for the trip to the airport ... He can't stop you from going!

Posts: 384 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Back Home ... And feeling Great!!
Snapdragon
Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, April 29th (Monday)

So when he shows up at the airport to pick up your DD - without you - do you think he is going to look like a hero for being there? Or do you think he'll look like an ass for not allowing you to come along. Hmmm.... he could shoot himself in the foot with that one. Let him. Laugh at him. Take the wind out of this manipulation sail.

Do you really want to spend 4 hours in the car with that asshole anyway?


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3070 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
bwok3
New Member
Member # 38423
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, April 29th (Monday)

Oh he will defenitly look like an ass. she will not be impressed at all. Her and her dad do not have the best relationship to begin with. She is gay and he doesnt approve at all. He just knows where to hit me where it hurts the most. My kids.


ME: 46 BS
HIM: 49 WH
Married 28 years
Separated
DD 21
DS 27
D-day-1 1986-but still denies it to this day
OW#1 PA - I think it was just a one night stand
D-day 2 Sept 25-11
OW-#2 EA & other online crap
Filing for D soon

Posts: 36 | Registered: Feb 2013
Housefulloflove
Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, April 29th (Monday)

To look on the bright side, that's 4 hours of your life that you won't have to spend sitting a foot away from that jackass.

He's not only taking it out on you but also taking away something his daughter wants (her mom at the airport) so he's giving yet another example that he is a horrible excuse for a human being.

Could you hire a shuttle to pick her up from the airport and take her home without your WH knowing? Your daughter gets to have a much more pleasant 2 hr ride home via shuttle or cab and that mean-spirited dummy can be sitting at the airport waiting for someone who isn't riding with him.

He can have a lovely 2 hr ride home with himself fuming while you and your daughter have a much better reunion than if that jackass was a part of it!


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
bwok3
New Member
Member # 38423
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, April 29th (Monday)

that would be so funny, but I would not dare....he is also abusive and do not want the repercussions. He will just end up doing something more horrible. I am trying so hard not to cause waves until the D is over. but sometimes I just cant keep my stupid mouth shut.


ME: 46 BS
HIM: 49 WH
Married 28 years
Separated
DD 21
DS 27
D-day-1 1986-but still denies it to this day
OW#1 PA - I think it was just a one night stand
D-day 2 Sept 25-11
OW-#2 EA & other online crap
Filing for D soon

Posts: 36 | Registered: Feb 2013
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, April 29th (Monday)

It's hard to always be the doormat and feel such disrespect.

Similar things happened here, where STBXH would fix the woodstove and bang and clang and wake up the whole house. I know it's when he had to do it, but it always seemed like it was on purpose-then if we got cranky he got very angry-that was how DD and I woke up every morning for the past three or four winters, since the stove came.

I don't know why he couldn't do it after our alarm clocks, but life is only about him and his way and your H sounds kind of like that?

It took forever for me to learn the extent of manipulation STBXH had been doing and now is trying to manipulate the divorce to lessen what he did...but some things can't be minimalized.

I'm sorry for your hard time and glad your daughter is older when this is happening.

Our neighbors have a couple kids and one displays "tendancies" that he may be gay and whenever the XWH is about, the mom (BS) and Grandma make the kid hide the tendancies. It's stuff like a boy doing nailpolish and wearing jewelry or playing with dolls and it drives the dad nuts.

So they do that to try to not make waves also because the dad doesn't approve as well. But it makes me feel worry for the kid because stifling who we really are doesn't work in the long run.

We've had a few times with occassions and what parent will be with DD since the A and it's really hard. Seems like sometimes things are done or said out of spite, too?

I wish you luck.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
bwok3
New Member
Member # 38423
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, May 13th (Monday)

Ok. so daughter comes home this friday and I have been given permission to go with him to get her from the airport......


ME: 46 BS
HIM: 49 WH
Married 28 years
Separated
DD 21
DS 27
D-day-1 1986-but still denies it to this day
OW#1 PA - I think it was just a one night stand
D-day 2 Sept 25-11
OW-#2 EA & other online crap
Filing for D soon

Posts: 36 | Registered: Feb 2013
Topic Posts: 10