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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: did much better with 180/nc
meplustwo
Member
Member # 39082
Default  Posted: 5:31 AM, April 30th (Tuesday)

Yesterday was my renewed attempt at 180 and nc. I had tried this past weekend, but didn't do very well yesterday was much better! I did speak with him briefly about picking up some furniture for my new apartment and whether our daughter had been doing her homework. Then I spent the evening with a friend, talking and playing with her 5 year old. It was a great diversion. Hope I can keep it up!


Me(34) - BS
Him(35) - WH
Married: 9 years
Two Kids: 4 and 6
D-Day #1: 7/12, D-Day #2: 4/24/13
Affair: EA to PA with coworker
Status of A: Says he broke it off after I went to her house and confronted both of them

Posts: 59 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Maine
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:01 AM, April 30th (Tuesday)

Good job!
It's tough getting NC going. Once you do, you'll be so thankful! It's really helpful once you move to the point of doing all communication through text and email...that really limits his chance to try to draw you into chit-chat.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4619 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, April 30th (Tuesday)

Oh boy do I remember how hard NC was in the early days. Not from wanting to 'connect' but wanting to connect my foot to his little brain.

It gets easier - so much easier. I still slip up sometimes but the lapses are much fewer and far between.

I found was going hardcore NC was the best way. Sure there were things I wanted to ask about the girls but I figured the questions weren't 100% essential so I didn't ask. I never really had faith in the info he did give me anyway so it was kind of a waste of time.

It helped cut off those last grubby tentacles he had on me.

Stay strong mamma - visualise ANY non essential contact as ego kibbles for him.

No ego kibbles for you fucktard!!


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5549 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, April 30th (Tuesday)

It really does help. I also slip up from time to time and did so the other day with disastrous results. I'm always much happier when I go NC, so I just need to keep that in mind.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 887 | Registered: Mar 2013
LastChanceLarry
Member
Member # 37322
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, April 30th (Tuesday)

180/NC was hard for me to settle into. I felt like my mind was torn between wanting to be with her and wanting to push her out of my life. It sucks at first. A lot. But it'll get easier with time, it's the sort of thing that needs practice and dedication. Commit yourself to NC, tell yourself not to waste any more time or energy on POS WH. Turn that attention to yourself and your kids. Reconnect with friends, pick up a new hobby, cross some things off your bucket list. Most of all, do it all without HIM.

I still have plenty of thoughts and urges regarding WXGF but they are weak whispers compared to what they used to be. Something that has helped me was to remind myself of what she did, what she put me through. Why would i want to sit and watch a movie with a woman who was fucking someone else? A woman cared so little for me that she thought it was OK to do that and then come home and ask to spend time together. Fuck that. I psych myself up with little "get mad" sessions, force myself to remember why we're in this situation in the first place. It gets easier every time and being able to redirect that energy into myself has done wonders for my recovery.

Keep it up. If you feel your resolve weakening just take a step back, post something on SI and we'll be here to help.

~Larry


D-Day: 8/27/12
Me: BBF (29)
WXGF: Confused26 (27) EA/PA with xBF, lasted almost a year. TT, blameshifting, gaslighting, & broken NC for 10 months.
DS: 3
Together 5 years

Ding dong, the bitch is gone! Settling into the life of a single dad.


Posts: 317 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: New England
meplustwo
Member
Member # 39082
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, April 30th (Tuesday)

Thanks all. I haven't slipped today either. It is hard. I mean, it shouldn't be. He certainly doesn't deserve my attention and I don't see why he needs it if he's got her anyway. Let the homewrecking whore watch reruns of ice road truckers while he drinks beer and falls asleep at 7:30. I'll go do trivia night at buffalo wild wings


Me(34) - BS
Him(35) - WH
Married: 9 years
Two Kids: 4 and 6
D-Day #1: 7/12, D-Day #2: 4/24/13
Affair: EA to PA with coworker
Status of A: Says he broke it off after I went to her house and confronted both of them

Posts: 59 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Maine
Topic Posts: 6