New Beginnings
User Topic: Will marry for Health Insurance
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, April 30th (Tuesday)

I am the group administrator for my company. Our premiums will increase 22% this year. I am so angry my head is about to explode.

Single employee premiums will be $552 a month.

I decided to get married ... not for love or money ... for health insurance.

Shit. That means I have to find someone to date.

My online dating message will be just that... will marry for health insurance.

I'm not sure what I'm willing to do in exchange for good medical coverage. I'll negotiate, but not a whole lot.

I'm so angry I have a stomach ache.

Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.

Posts: 4692 | Registered: Oct 2007
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, April 30th (Tuesday)

That's crazy money, I bought a policy on my own for just over 200. Dental/ vision and health, high deductible, but I get the stuff I need.

Posts: 2175 | Registered: Mar 2011
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 6:09 AM, May 1st (Wednesday) job??

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20284 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, May 1st (Wednesday) job??
This was my first thought, too. That's 5 times what a single employee pays with my company.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25725 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, May 1st (Wednesday)

Why are you using the company insurance? You can probably get much cheaper insurance independently.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13798 | Registered: Jul 2011
million pieces
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, May 1st (Wednesday)

Why are you using the company insurance? You can probably get much cheaper insurance independently.

I don't know anymore. On NPR this morning there was a piece on indiv insurance premiums for BCBS going up 25% in MD for next year.

Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 12
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1266 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
Member # 11888
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, May 1st (Wednesday)

I am in MD also, and our premiums went way up this past year... I expect they will again. I am so fortunate with my company, but I fear they may not be so generous in the future.

Yewtree: I'd marry you! lol... actually, I offered this to a friend that has no medical coverage. He was shocked and hasn't taken me up on it, but it's fairly common these days.

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

Posts: 19732 | Registered: Aug 2006
Member # 4342
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)

Depending on state and company size, that about right.

I am in FL and I pay out of pocket $500 for my spouse and myself on a $10K H.S.A. plan. That means, we pay the $500 a month PLUS $10K out of pocket BEFORE the insurance picks up a cent. AND I work for a broker, so I am fully aware that this is what we can afford - under 20 employees.

Individual is medically underwritten - so, if you smoke, need to lose a few pounds, have some health conditions - you pay more.

For now...

F-BS 43
DS 24 DS 20
Seperated 2001; Divorced 2003
Remarried to a wonderful man 2008

Posts: 7915 | Registered: May 2004 | From: The Sunshine State
Member # 37322
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)

Funny you mention this, WXGF and i were engaged and i one of the things i was looking forward to once we got married was lower insurance premiums

I used to work for a company that would cover "domestic partners" just as if they were married partners except that the money came out after taxes instead of before. So getting married wouldn't have changed our coverage at all but it would have effectively lowered my premium by 25%!

My new company doesn't offer the same benefit but since we're separating now it really doesn't matter, she wants to fuck OM, let him pay for her insurance!

Those rates you mentioned sound like highway robbery, outrageous! Is the cost not subsidized at all? If you're shopping for a new H try to land someone in the military or a state/federal employee, i hear they get pretty good packages.


D-Day: 8/27/12
Me: BBF (29)
WXGF: Confused26 (27) EA/PA with xBF, lasted almost a year. TT, blameshifting, gaslighting, & broken NC for 10 months.
DS: 3
Together 5 years

Ding dong, the bitch is gone! Settling into the life of a single dad.

Posts: 317 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: New England
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)

I'm just so frustrated and annoyed with all of this mess.
Part of it is subsidized, but I'm trying to find the best deal for my employees.
We're a very small group, and in NM we have few choices.

Most of my EE's have a pre-existing condition, so individual plans are not an option.

And in 2014 when the pre-ex clause goes away, I think we can all expect to see our premiums jump ALOT no matter the size of our group or our medical conditions.

Ilovemyjob Ilovemyjob Ilovemyjob.

Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.

Posts: 4692 | Registered: Oct 2007
Member # 18616
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)

I manage our benefit cost at our employer. We've paid over $500 for single coverage for years. This cost does not include dental which is a separate policy and about $35 per month for single.

As we all know, insurance costs are not going down, only up. We need tort reform and a wholistic approach people's welfare. These will be the only ways IMHO that will start to control and/or bring rates down.

Shopping for a husband for insurance is crazy. There's a lot more challenges in that option than paying $500 a month for coverage.

I'm sure you can tweak your plan design to bring costs down. Otherwise, get a better broker who will shop your group.

Another unique option is a captive health insurance plan. Similar to self-insured, however shared with other members of the captive.

Finally, there's ways that policies can be tiered based on an individual's health profile. This way overweight, smokers, poor health, etc. pay more and then have an incentive to get healthy if possible.

Good luck,


Me-BS 56 XWW-53

Separated 3/8/2008
D Final 8/31/2009

Posts: 517 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: South Jersey
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, May 2nd (Thursday)

Yeah, I know I have options to tweak the premiums. that comes after the initial exploding head routine that happens every year at this time.

And I know that husband shopping is stupid. but because my employer seems to think we all have the option of getting on our spouse's insurance, I felt compelled to husband shop.

Venting is how I process things.

Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.

Posts: 4692 | Registered: Oct 2007
Member # 35778
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, May 2nd (Thursday)

Yewtree: how about me...a Canadian man lol?!!! The only downside is I think you'd have to move a lot further north than you'd like

I really, really sympathize with Americans when I read stories like this. I think the average Canadian (and other countries too) take our health coverage for granted way to often because we never have to think about these things.

Good luck!

Posts: 305 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Canada
Member # 6010
Default  Posted: 4:44 AM, May 3rd (Friday)

Wow I feel really lucky... my part of the premium for a single person is just over $100 a month. Deductible is $2500- but we have a health reimbursement account embedded in the plan- so I pay the first 1000, then the company picks up the next 1500. After that the insurance pays 100%, except co-pays.

I already hit the 1k mark with an oral surgery I had to have done- so from this point on- either the company or the insurance picks up the tab 100% outside of the reasonable co-pays.

Good thing, because I have A LOT of medical stuff coming up this year...

I've been looking at the healthcare reform issues and I can't see how- with all the new mandates coming into play for 2014- that premiums won't go up for most Americans. It's just not possible to cover all the additional stuff, eliminate pre-existing conditions for adults, eliminate coverage limits etc. without hiking up the premium costs significantly.

My Blog:

Posts: 4228 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: eastern PA
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, May 3rd (Friday)

I'm sorry, yewtree. This country should have joined the rest of the civilized world decades ago so we could have avoided all this mess and not had so many people having serious health and financial problems because they have health problems they couldn't afford to get treated.

I know two couples who M for exactly this reason! One had been together for over 20 years and finally made it legal but also provided insurance for the sick one, and the other, well, just did it for exactly that reason. She never said she loved him - just listed all the things that M could provide her, namely medical insurance. And they continued to live in separate homes.

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2381 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, May 3rd (Friday)

Part of my D settlement was health ins....a big part. I worked for a small company that offered mediocre pay and no benefits. Ex has outstanding health insurance but I would loose it and have a $350/mos premium to even come close to it. Part of our settlement was that we wouldn't finalize until June 2013 and I wouldn't take his retirement. It came out to be a wash for what I would've received after taxes out of his retirement.

Unfortunately my portion of the premium at my new job is pretty high for benefits that aren't as good as my X's. At least I have it. I completely understand marrying for it. My rates for an individual policy sky rocketed in recent months. I'm glad that's no longer the way I have to go.

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

Posts: 8459 | Registered: Apr 2008
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 12:29 AM, May 4th (Saturday)

I had to pick up cobra to keep health insurance after the divorce and it is insane how much of my settlement is going to pay the monthly premiums. I will finally be eligible for Medicare in July but still have to pay a few more months of cobra to be able to have my brain and spine surgery. Cobra sucks!

DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1208 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 17