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Wayward Side
User Topic: Emotionless?
changedibr
New Member
Member # 39119
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)

How to wake up? How to show you care? How to show you love your bs?

Posts: 25 | Registered: Apr 2013
SuperDuperWonderboy
Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)

Well, have you asked your bs this? What did she say?

Do that.

Then read. Then do IC. Then read. Then do IC. Then try MC.

Then ask you BS again.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1272 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
hardlessons
Member
Member # 35025
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)

Why do you want to wake up?

Early in this process you find that love, feelings, thoughts come from wrong/bad places so step 1 is realizing that. Which is why I asked the question, why do YOU want to wake up?


Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."

Posts: 878 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Arizona
floridaredman
Member
Member # 15122
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)


How to show you care? How to show you love your bs?

Have you always had problems doing these before your affair?


The simplest thing can be the hardest thing to do....FRM

Posts: 2472 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Florida
changedibr
New Member
Member # 39119
Default  Posted: 3:35 AM, May 2nd (Thursday)

My wife wants me to wake up per say.

Yes I guess your right I should do what my bs says.

Before A I didn't have these problems.


Posts: 25 | Registered: Apr 2013
floridaredman
Member
Member # 15122
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, May 2nd (Thursday)

A lot of times as WS's we rewrite marital history. We attach things to our spouses negatively to justify our infidelity.
I don't knowif you did this or not, but I did this with my wife. I made her into a monster when I was the one doing monstrous things.

Her love is shown by giving you a chance to reconcile. That's a gift..not a given.
It would be wise to see her for what she can show other than what you thought or felt she wasn't.


The simplest thing can be the hardest thing to do....FRM

Posts: 2472 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Florida
hardlessons
Member
Member # 35025
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, May 2nd (Thursday)

My wife wants me to wake up per say.

If you are doing this for anyone but yourself you wont wake up.

Yes I guess your right I should do what my bs says.

No one said that to you so where is that coming from? You obviously don't always do as your told so why would you now?


Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."

Posts: 878 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Arizona
SandAway
Member
Member # 37775
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, May 2nd (Thursday)

Before A I didn't have these problems.

Really? That is because you were still living a lie and life was good for you.

You are coming and going so quick with questions and short responses and not really answering questions, just starting new threads.

You do know that there is no quick fix to all of this.

Does you wife know about SI?


fWW
BH Tred
M 16yrs
DDay Nov. 2011

Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people


Posts: 431 | Registered: Dec 2012
BostonGirl
Member
Member # 33930
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, May 2nd (Thursday)

Read "The Emotionally Unavailable Man" by Patti Henry and "Why Can't I Get Through To You" by Terry Real. Those will get you started. Both of you should read them.


It'll all be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end.

Posts: 133 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Boston
Topic Posts: 9