SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
New Beginnings
User Topic: lingering effects of situational depression?
survivor_kh
Member
Member # 33738
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, May 3rd (Friday)

I havent felt those intense feelings of severe depression for almost a year now, but Im trying to figure out how to manage some of the lingering effects. I would like to come up with some sort of plan of action to help with these issues:

1. fatigue. I struggle to wake up every morning and it takes most of the morning for my groginess to dissipate.

2. lack of focus. I cant stay task-oriented and I cant complete tasks regurlary or in a timely manner.

3. memory loss. I cant remember details of stories, conversations, movies, books, lectures, etc, and I forget about appoinments frequently.

4. lack of comprehension. sometimes I read a paragraph several times before I figure out what it is saying. sometimes I need to be given direction multiple times. sometimes I am in the middle of doing a project for work, and I suddenly stop and feel completely lost.

5. irritability. pretty much everyone annoys me. I feel myself on the verge of a meltdown over things like dishes and property taxes.

6. emotional shut downs. if something makes me feel uncomfortable or triggers, I feel myself become quiet, numb and expressionless. I cant console others.I can only help by physically helping others or by very matter of factly giving advice. showing emotions sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable. I also cant cry when I feel like I need .

7. I forgot what 7 was because I lost track of I was thinking.

8. inconsistent feelings. one day I feel great, im doing good things, I like being single. next day ughhhh I kind of suck at Independence. its hard to stay mmotivated when I have a bad day. it a few days to bounce back from it.

in addition, I would like to add that I work two jobs, I will be going school part time in the fall, I exercise when I can at least once or twice a week, im taking some vitamins to keep my energy level boosted, I have been getting sick a lot this past year.mostly sinus related problems or stomach pain. I need some help with stress management, and im still seeing my IC, although I took a break for about a month when i was short on time and money. my over all financial situation is improving but I wish it were better.

Anyone have similar experiences?
any and advice and comments are welcome here.

[This message edited by survivor_kh at 2:49 PM, May 3rd (Friday)]


Surviving is important, thriving is elegant- Maya Angelou

you is kind, you is smart, you is important


Posts: 297 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Indiana
Newlease
Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, May 3rd (Friday)

A lot of those symptoms sound like PTSD to me. I dealt with all that for a few years after my D.

What helped me was continued therapy (tell your IC all of the things you have outlined here), AD medication, and exercise. My therapist used EMDR and it was very beneficial to me.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7638 | Registered: Aug 2005
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, May 3rd (Friday)

A lot of those symptoms sound like PTSD to me.

I have all of the same symptoms you've listed and I was diagnosed with PTSD yesterday. I've started meds today and will be attending IC. It's been a long time coming for me.


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13639 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
survivor_kh
Member
Member # 33738
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, May 3rd (Friday)

that actually makes a lot of sense. My IC mentioned it to me before as a possibility, but we never revisited it. I've been doing EMDR for a while, and I do very well with it.

I guess I know what to bring up next week. oh I feel so relieved now.


Surviving is important, thriving is elegant- Maya Angelou

you is kind, you is smart, you is important


Posts: 297 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Indiana
tabitha95
Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 11:33 PM, May 3rd (Friday)

This is me. I've been this way so long, seeing it in a list makes me realize that I need to do something.

I do think I suffered PTSD. I did a lot of research on infidelity related PTSD after my first dday and I had so many symptoms. Then I got a second dday, which came with gaslighting for nearly a year.

I am really interested in this thread.


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3247 | Registered: Dec 2008
Bluebird26
Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 4:31 AM, May 4th (Saturday)

Sounds like me on any given day too....

You're not alone. Sigh....


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1280 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 5:20 AM, May 4th (Saturday)

Here are a few helpful ideas:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=493751&HL=17484


Posts: 6421 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
risingfromashes
Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 6:42 AM, May 4th (Saturday)

I am not sure how old you are but these symptoms are also associated with menopause.


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1582 | Registered: Mar 2004
survivor_kh
Member
Member # 33738
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, May 7th (Tuesday)

I'm 28. My friends are constantly making comments about my emotional shut downs, and 1 of them completely attacked me for "not caring" when she was upset and crying.


Surviving is important, thriving is elegant- Maya Angelou

you is kind, you is smart, you is important


Posts: 297 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Indiana
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, May 7th (Tuesday)

Our D days were about the same time, I think this all has to do with everything settling down and reality starting to set in about what happened.

I cannot really remember much over the last year and 1/2. I still get all triggered by C&W music bc thats what they like -- ha I had to switch to Christian music for now bc I know they don't listen to that! LOL

I am hugely forgetful, zone often, sometimes take 2 baths to settle down at night after hot water reheats, and I always wake up first thing with "them" on my mind.

You asked for thoughts and here are mine:

When I checked into outpatient at a mental health place, they said that our brains had been rewired by the trama and it was going to take WORK to rewire and get back to normalacy.

The main thing that helps me is leaving this city any time I can. One week out of state staying with friends was AWESOME. I slept and slept and slept and ate at Chilis every night. It was really great to get a change of scenery. Can you even to go another city even an hour away and immerse yourself there as if you never met your WH? Just the driving on strange streets, talking to friends I've had for years, them laughing about good times we've had, sleeping for hours, etc all really helped me. My best friend and I went to the beach for the weekend (cheap now) and stayed in the room basically the whole time. I took HOT HOT HOT showers, we sat up at night on the balcony laughing and I slept in every day. She is a great friend and her husband was so nice to send her to cheer me up!


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1955 | Registered: Jan 2012
survivor_kh
Member
Member # 33738
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, May 8th (Wednesday)

When I checked into outpatient at a mental health place, they said that our brains had been rewired by the trama and it was going to take WORK to rewire and get back to normalacy.

My IC said something similar to me. She treated for PTSD once before when we talked about my father's death, so I know what kind of work I'm in for. Right now, I feel more numb than I felt during that period.

I feel like I am taking on a lot right now with 2 jobs, taking care of a house and adding school to that in the fall. In my mind, I am preparing myself for a future where I don't have to depend on anyone for aything if I don't want to. That may sound extreme, but I can't help it.

[This message edited by survivor_kh at 3:10 PM, May 8th (Wednesday)]


Surviving is important, thriving is elegant- Maya Angelou

you is kind, you is smart, you is important


Posts: 297 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 11