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Just Found Out
User Topic: Lots of feelings of being short-changed
s+++forbrains
Member
Member # 18128
Default  Posted: 7:41 AM, May 6th (Monday)

Last night we watched the movie The Impossible. What got me was the pure love the family had for each other. In watching it I just felt kind of empty. When I needed my ws most to be by my side he hooked up with his mistress. When I was truly needing help in raising our children he felt I wasn't meeting his needs so he went and hooked up with a slut. Our best counselor looked at him and told him I was a "Godly" wife, even though my needs were not met since year 1 of our marriage due to his narcissistic/suicidal mother. During the worst of it, I understood why some moms do drugs for energy, not that I would ever do drugs, I wouldn't, but I understood. I was EXHAUSTED beyond belief and he just kept taking care of himself and his birth family, leaving me to take care of our home and family. When I was the care giver for my dying father my ws was screwing one of my "friends". I just feel short-changed...

Posts: 178 | Registered: Feb 2008
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Legatimate feeling you were shortchanged! Your WH wasn''t there for you and forced you to carry the entire load of the joint family that you were supposed to have. It''s as if you were both hired to clear a field of stones, but you were the only one that did it, while he stood on the other side of the fence complaining to all of the passerbys about how much work it was. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4567 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
s+++forbrains
Member
Member # 18128
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Skan-- Love the analogy!! I also love the fact that I can come here and "emotionally vomit" and you understand. Thank you!!!!

Posts: 178 | Registered: Feb 2008
kiki1
Member
Member # 37184
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, May 6th (Monday)

lol, I can't call you s***forbrains I feel short changed too. And we were. i wish i could say something magical that would wipe that away. Just wanted you to know you've been heard and understood.

Posts: 508 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, May 6th (Monday)

This is a very familiar feeling!

Many examples come to mind during my history with STBXH that relate to your thoughts, S+++for brains.

And all the while during his A and other activities, my needs went unmet as well.

Yet I stayed the course, so to speak and that's a trigger for sure. I had problems with things he did, but tried to work on them, while he went seeking OW and other "activity" outside marriage.

Why do some of us stay the course, while others bail? It seems like there should be other...releases in life, besides As, drugs and things.

Sorry for your pain, you are not alone.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
s+++forbrains
Member
Member # 18128
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Thanks!!! Sometimes it helps just to know I am not alone!!

Posts: 178 | Registered: Feb 2008
scissorhands
Member
Member # 34831
Default  Posted: 3:00 AM, May 7th (Tuesday)

I feel like this too.

My husband got to have all the emotional highs of infatuation from his internet activities and I got nothing but the tired old man (47) that is asleep in the chair by 9PM.
He never pays me that kind of attention.

If those skanks that flirted and 'liked' his pictures of his penis online etc.. knew what a boring old fart he really is. Such a superstud cant even manage it twice a night.

[This message edited by scissorhands at 3:02 AM, May 7th (Tuesday)]


DDay 12/02/2011
WH signed up for sleazy dating sites while working away for a month at a time. Discovered before any physical contact was made.

Posts: 231 | Registered: Feb 2012
Topic Posts: 7