New Beginnings
User Topic: Just Duct Tape My Mouth...Wouldya?
Member # 17460
What?  Posted: 11:50 AM, May 6th (Monday)

Sometimes even I amaze myself.

On Saturday I had to move my home office furniture to my storage unit. The size of the pieces required me to move up two sizes to a bigger space to hold the furniture as well as the items in my smaller unit.

While there with a male friend (T), another storage tenant who is directly across from my old space came to swap out his motorcycles. T and he got to talking about cycles and such while the young guy put air into the tires of his stored cycle. T came back to me and said it might be a good idea to ask if we could use his air compressor to fill my bicycle tires which had deflated over the winter so that I could use it this summer.

I agreed, so T goes over to him, asks, and sure enough he’s happy to do it. I roll my bicycle his way and we start chatting it up as he starts working on the tires. Knowing NOTHING about motorcycles, I lean toward him and say – actually quite loudly because I have to be heard over the air compressor…are you ready for this?...NO, seriously – are you READY?

“So, how big is your unit?”

As soon as I said it, I wanted so badly to reel those words back in, but out into the stratosphere they went.

His head pops up, he smiles and says, “Oh, my storage unit? *chuckle, chuckle* It’s a 10’ x 15’.”

Y’all need to keep me off the streets, I swear.


Fidelity isn't a's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!

Posts: 21068 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, May 6th (Monday)

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

Posts: 8073 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, May 6th (Monday)

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17484 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, May 6th (Monday)

Oooooops, just a slip of words but funny as hell.

I find I can get by with "slips" because of my age. You don't need to be kept off the street just always remember the innocent older lady face. Then give a little laugh. leave them wondering...
They will be thinking ,"Does she know what she said??"

[This message edited by gma56 at 11:59 AM, May 6th (Monday)]

It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20382 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, May 6th (Monday)

That so totally cracked me up this morning
I would so say something like that

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, May 6th (Monday)

You made me snort!

Posts: 35788 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Choices, Chances, Changes.....You must make a Choice to take a Chance or your life will never Change.

Posts: 13803 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Freudian, perchance?

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15412 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Totally needed that today Thank you.

Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Posts: 4607 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Well at least you didn't say 'that's an awfully big package you've got there'......

Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2604 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, May 6th (Monday)

You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams

Posts: 25687 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, May 6th (Monday)

You should have not skipped a beat and said...

"Yeah.....that one too!"

"Sometimes your knight in shining armor just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12

Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2701 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, May 6th (Monday)


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5243 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, May 6th (Monday)

I'm actually laughing out loud!

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie

Posts: 3432 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, May 6th (Monday)

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13787 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, May 6th (Monday)


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Member # 29728
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Thanks for the good laugh, I really needed it today.

I will come out stronger!

Posts: 254 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: iowa
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Total Freudian Slip you bad girl.

BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. Now I am living alone in the beautiful rural property that was once the dream retreat with X. It's taking a long time to create new dreams but despite some struggles I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5856 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
Must Survive
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, May 7th (Tuesday)

Laughed out loud!

WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen

Posts: 777 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, May 7th (Tuesday)

That is absolutely hilarious!

No way I would want to duct tape your mouth if you come up with good blunders like that!

Keep it going girl!

Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 727 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, May 8th (Wednesday)

Laughing so hard it's scaring my dogs


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6579 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Member # 38010
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, May 8th (Wednesday)

I vote NO duct tape, ever!!

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Posts: 505 | Registered: Jan 2013
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, May 8th (Wednesday)

Slip of the lip...riiiiiight...

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20272 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, May 8th (Wednesday)

This is something I would say... and then

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5254 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 12:47 AM, May 9th (Thursday)

Oh, I love those moments!!! You and my friend in a room would be awesome!!

My favorite is when she asked her neighbor to come over and check to see if her hamburger meat had spoiled. He ended up cleaning up her hedge while he was there. She said "I just wanted you to come over and smell my meat, not trim my bush".

BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 1:18 AM, May 9th (Thursday)

Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

Posts: 7823 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, May 9th (Thursday)

Ha ha! That is too funny!

Posts: 14389 | Registered: Jun 2008
Topic Posts: 28