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New Beginnings
User Topic: I guess this goes here-- I signed off on the D.
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, May 6th (Monday)

When I signed, I said to my L, "There ends 17 years of my life!" It's very odd. I thought that some wave of emotion would come over me. Shouldn't I feel sad about this? Instead, I drove through the beautiful sunshine, stopped at a local bookstore, and bought myself a few books to read for fun. I don't feel sad... just indifferent. It was like I was signing for a package or signing a permission slip for a field trip.

I'm glad to be moving on. I'm glad to be breaking another tie to STBX. It just seems surreal that I spent almost half my life with him, and that life now seems like it belonged to somebody else. All that time, and I'm totally "meh" about the (rather anticlimactic) ending. I guess my indifference to all that history is a sadness in and of itself.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3543 | Registered: Oct 2011
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, May 6th (Monday)

I remember feeling the same way. The bright news is that your life is just beginning. Move forward each and every day.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51533 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
torn2bits
Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Be good to yourself and good for you its over.


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
2kidsandadog
Member
Member # 33679
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, May 6th (Monday)

I was exactly the same way on the day of my divorce. I was sort of numb and thought "wow, it took months to plan, lots of money and stress, and bam in 15 minutes, 23 years of marriage over"!!!

I was actually worried that I wasn't reacting normally because I spent a total of 30 years with my ex so we had a lot of firsts beginning in teenager years to mid-life.

I'm glad to hear that someone else felt like I did. Yeah, the indifference to all that history is a sadness all of it's own. To me, it's indicative of all the hurt that continued to roll over and over and over and over till one felt stomped to death, and love could no more resume. Only hatred overcame me the last year and a half.

Good luck on your new beginnings. I couldn't be happier with mine!!!!


Divorced 05/11/11 -
2kids - 20 and 22 (Thank God for them)

Too many Ddays to count. Enough said!


Posts: 693 | Registered: Oct 2011
Topic Posts: 4