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User Topic: Something Scary Happened...
Lola2kids
Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, May 6th (Monday)

My neighbour and I were chatting in the backyard on Saturday.
She told me that she had seen a car on the street with a man in it and it appeared that the man had a camera and was looking at me through the camera when I take the dog out in the evening to do his business before we go to bed.
This neighbour is pretty skittish and has a full security system and cameras on the corners of her eaves.
She notices everything.
I kind of laughed it off thinking, "who would be watching me?"

But last night...
I took the dog out and noticed a car like she described parked in front of the fire hydrant near where the dog goes. There was a man in the car and he had his arm up on the window edge with his hand on his head. Effectively shieding his face.
I walked right around the front of the car (memorized the licence plate number) and noticed that it looked like he had a pair of binoculars in his lap. That concerned me since we have a key code lock and I worry that when the kids go in the house they don't shield the code very well because they are short.
Could he have been looking to get the code?

The dog peed and I went into the house and locked the door.
When I looked out the window he pulled away and left.

I was shaken but my DD was up and she can sense when I'm upset.

I went upstairs and had a look and found 2 drawers of my jewelry box were left open. Sometimes the kids do that but they said they weren't in there. I was in one drawer a couple of days ago but I don't wear the stuff much.
I don't have anything expensive and only 2 pieces with real diamonds.

Then I was really concerned. I checked around and couldn't find anything else out of place.

I sent a text to Dumbass to see if he had been in the house. Told him about the car and he called me. I told him I had changed the code on the door lock. That was easy. I have a chain lock on the door as well. I put something in front that would make noise if the door opened. The dog barks if he hears things. He is a small lap dog so he's not much for protections.

DA offered to come sleep at the house. I said no, I have to deal with things like this now.

It took a long time to get to sleep and I'm really tired today.

I just can't help thinking that this guy is looking for DA. Maybe his MOW hired a PI or her BH?
Maybe DA owes someone money?
I don't think it's about me. It pisses me off that this could be yet more fallout from this ass that I had kids with.

More to feel guilty about.

I just hope it's not a pedophile.

OMG this is making me so worried.


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
WS: Him 49 (Together 12 years)
D-Day April 18, 2011, Him:out Sept. 11, 2011..moved June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1321 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, May 6th (Monday)

(((Lola)))

That is scary. I would let the police know the license plate #, what the guy looks like, what is happening, etc... We had something odd happen near me years ago. The police made sure to drive past my home more than normal.

[This message edited by jo2love at 1:32 PM, May 6th (Monday)]


Posts: 33995 | Registered: Mar 2011
bigpicture3236
Member
Member # 27861
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, May 6th (Monday)

I would also report the guy to the police asap, especially as you have the plate #. Get your neighbor on board as well and let her tell her side. Sounds like something is going on that need to be watched very closely.
Good luck!


If you love something and hurt it dearly, then chose not to fix it...you never deserved it in the first place.

Posts: 3603 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Michigan
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, May 6th (Monday)

If your neighbor has him stalking your house on her camera ask if you can have a copy and take it along with the car tag number to the police dept. Then ask that they drive by your house.

Next time before you go outside, look out the window. If the car is there, call the police. Let them know this person has been stalking your house, your single with kids in house and are scared.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4703 | Registered: Feb 2008
Lola2kids
Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Thanks everyone.
I just don't like it.
The street is semi-detached town houses.
There are 20 houses on each side and very little room between every 2 units.
I thought I was being paranoid thinking that I was the one he was watching. There are so many other houses.
My sisters also live 10 houses down.
They will be on the lookout and I am thinking of calling the police to report when I get home from work.
He has been seen 2X now once by my neighbour and once by me.
I don't like it at all.

ETA: Dumb ass hasn't called or messaged at all today to find out if we are ok.
Typical.

[This message edited by Lola2kids at 1:58 PM, May 6th (Monday)]


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
WS: Him 49 (Together 12 years)
D-Day April 18, 2011, Him:out Sept. 11, 2011..moved June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1321 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Ditto everyone else - call the police asap. Thank goodness you got the plates. Did you get a decent look at him? And definitely ask your neighbor if she has any footage of the vehicle.

That's scary lola - be careful.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4380 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Lola2kids
Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, May 6th (Monday)

I was trying to get a look at him.
He was probably caucasian (sp). Couldn't really see his hair without crouching a little down to see in the window.
Hard to tell if he was tall since he was sitting.
Didn't look overweight.
I try to be observant but it's harder than I thought.


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
WS: Him 49 (Together 12 years)
D-Day April 18, 2011, Him:out Sept. 11, 2011..moved June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1321 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
Lola2kids
Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, May 6th (Monday)

I'm headed to my IC now and then to pick up the kids from their afterschool program.

Then it's home to call the police.
I'm nervous about calling them.
I don't want to be brushed off.


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
WS: Him 49 (Together 12 years)
D-Day April 18, 2011, Him:out Sept. 11, 2011..moved June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1321 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, May 6th (Monday)

I don't want to be brushed off.

I would imagine your neighbor as a witness of a second incident of an unusual vehicle will help, and describe it just as you did below.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4380 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Thinking of you. Please let us know what they say.

Posts: 33995 | Registered: Mar 2011
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, May 6th (Monday)

We had someone scoping out the neighborhood a couple of years back. As we live on a dead-end street that goes uphill, it''s VERY noticable when someone who "doesn''t belong" is there. He was seen once, 2nd time, neighbors started talking about it. 3rd time, I was driving to my house and saw him on the opposite side of the road during the day I work funky hours.

I got out of my car, grabbed my camera (before I had a cell phone with a camera in it) and my cell phone, and walked up to the front of his car. Took a photo of his license plate. He said "what the hell???" and I took a photo of him. Walked around the car taking photos while he started the car. Told him that I was sending the photos to the local PD and to the neighbors, and if he ever came back onto our street we would take care of him if the PD didn''t. He drove off yelling, but we never saw him again.

Now, I wouldn''t have done this at night, but frankly, I''d rather someone know that I had their number than have them think that I was going about my business fat, dumb, and happy.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4588 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
whyohwhyohwhy
Member
Member # 17890
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, May 6th (Monday)

I would definitely call the cops.

There have been a string of burglaries where I live, and you just don't know what some people are up to.

The cops will at least drive by more often if you let them know.


what did I ever do to deserve this?

Me:47 BS
Him: X, 51 PA SA NPD?
2 kids; DD14, DD8 divorced


Posts: 1041 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: east coast
Take2
Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Tell the police your story - they will not only do more driveby's they will question him if they see him! That should scare him off.


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, May 6th (Monday)

Dumbass wouldn't have hired a private investigator to dig up dirt on you, would he? (sorry, can't remember where you are in the divorce process)


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12124 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
Fooled Me Twice
Member
Member # 34824
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, May 6th (Monday)

^^^^what inconnu asked? Would WH have hired a PI to get leverage in court on you?


ME: BS 33 (now 34)
HIM: WS 33 (now 35)
OW: 22, howorker (now 24)
July 2007: Porn found on computer along with profiles on dating websites.
DDay: January 16, 2012 - suspicious since Dec 2011
Divorced: June 11, 2013

Posts: 209 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Here and There
fallingquickly
Member
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, May 6th (Monday)

I don't know how safe you would feel about this but could you call a few neighbors to come outside next time you see him and take your camera when you go out? Let him see you taking photos and everyone watching him. Like Skan said above, if he knows he's being watched as well he will be a lot less comfortable.


Me-BW 50
Him-STBXWH

2 Ddays and lots of TT
divorcing

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken


Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
Lola2kids
Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 6:37 AM, May 7th (Tuesday)

Update:
Took the kids out for dinner after their afterschool.
My IC agrees with all of you to call the police.
I wanted to see if the guy showed up again tonight.
I'm pretty sure he knew I was checking out his licence plate.

I did not call the police last night. Dumbass called me as he was walking around the neighbourhood looking for the car. It would be just like him to punch the guy and get arrested. I would not bail him out.
We are separated financially. We were common law. No court, no custody agreement. I got him to sign a letter for Revenue Canada saying that I have primary custody of the kids so that I claim them on income tax.
He lives about 10 minutes away in a condo.
I joked with the neighbour about DA hiring a PI. He's too cheap to spend the money. I did think that his MOW could have hired someone to check up on DA.

I still think I will call the police to report it today.
I didn't want to do it in front of the kids. My DD told the other DD that daddy was there to find the man in the car that Mommy saw.

I was telling my IC that I'm pissed thinking that this is yet again something that affects me due to DA and his affair.
I seem to shoulder all the consequences.

I'm mad now.


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
WS: Him 49 (Together 12 years)
D-Day April 18, 2011, Him:out Sept. 11, 2011..moved June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1321 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
Mousse242
Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, May 7th (Tuesday)

Stop thinking about calling the police and just do it. Period.

Report the plate number, etc. Get yourself a pair of binaculars (buy or borrow) and watch for this guy.

This is beyond creepy. Talk to your other neighbors, tell them to all be on the lookout too. Tell them to call the police if they see him or anyone suspicious.

Get actual key locks for your house and an internal security system if you can at all afford it.


Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
Topic Posts: 18