Just Found Out
User Topic: So called friends talking about me behind my back!,,,
Member # 38787
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, May 7th (Tuesday)

So I found out today that my so called friends are talking about my situation behind my back. My WH confided in one of our friends who had been threw the same situation so he thought that he could give him so advice. But I guess he decided to tell everyone.

Alll of my friends are also my WH friend so now everyone knows.

I know I didn't do anything wrong but this sucks to know that my heart is broken but now I'm a big joke to everyone.

I guess you do know who your real friends are.

Bw (me) 47
WH (him) 59
D day 3/7/2013
Married 26 together 28
2 adult sons 25 and 22

Posts: 167 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: nj
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, May 7th (Tuesday)

What makes you thInk they are laughing at you? We allowed a few of Our close friends in on what we were dealing with. It was actually amazingly helpful. I had lots of support. When H was being a dick they called him on it.

Sorry you're in pain but hopefully you will gain se support through this.

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8738 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 38541
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, May 7th (Tuesday)

I found it very hard when my ex was given a lot of support by our mutual friends. I know they were trying to be fair and be there for both of us, but it felt like another betrayal to me.

It is quite possible that they are not laughing at you, but just the thought of them listening to him and sympathising makes it very hard to understand how they can be friends with you as well.

I made the very difficult decision to end my friendships with anyone who had been supportive of him. Maybe it was an over reaction and maybe I was cutting off my nose to spite my face, but I could never ever be sure that what I said was not reported back to him, however innocently.

I hope you have some other people you can turn to.

Posts: 154 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Australia
Member # 39159
Default  Posted: 2:27 AM, May 8th (Wednesday)

How do you know you're a big joke to everyone..? I know how you feel, but do you really have evidence to support that they are undermining you?

Posts: 221 | Registered: May 2013
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, May 8th (Wednesday)

oh, I am sorry to read this! I know how you feel. I learned that some if not all of his friends knew about his A. He says they never met the OW but how can I believe that? I think they are all laughing at me and thinking I am stupid for taking him back.

Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 630 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
Member # 38787
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, May 8th (Wednesday)

Both my WH and I are a boating club and are on the board. They had a meeting this past Sunday and found out by one of my true friends that everyone was talking smack about me and what my WH did. Make a joke about it.

Bw (me) 47
WH (him) 59
D day 3/7/2013
Married 26 together 28
2 adult sons 25 and 22

Posts: 167 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: nj
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, May 8th (Wednesday)

Let them talk!

You're right.
You will find out who your true friends are.

After d-day I was an emotional wreck and I told everyone about the LTA-friends, family, co-workers, you name it.

The majority were very supportive and concerned.

And I was surprised at how many people shared their own stories of having been betrayed etc.

Were there those that gossiped?
I'm sure there were.

But,you know what?

The statistics being what they are more than 1/2 of those gossiping will eventually be affected by infidelity and then they will not be so smug.

Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA

Posts: 3163 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
Topic Posts: 7