If a spouse has something wrong that causes her to NOT have sex or that sex is painful so they dont have sex...is it THEN okay for her husband to step outside of the marriage, behind her back, to get sex?
In my case, while some of my coping mechanisms were broken nothing that I did made my wifes choice to have an A a credible option. She, like most all WS, chose an unhealthy path that is nothing but destructive.
All marriages have troubles.
My wife has repeatedly admitted to me and in counseling that there were no major issues in our marriage....no abuse, no financial strain, no excessive hobbies or work schedules...hardly even moderate everyday stress like me leaving my dirty clothes scattered about the bathroom.
And yet...she chose to have an A.
Other couples deal with much more extreme stimulus and lack far more from their marital relationship then my wife did...and they do NOT chose to have an A.
I see you are a new member.
That first 2 months after DD, while my wife was in a very heavy fog, I did many actions that I am soooo not proud of. Most of which was my need to show unreasonable support and share-taking towards and in my wifes A.
If you are really close to your DD...please try and step back and take a look at the situation as a whole before you start to jump in and take up your yoke.
It seemed so natural for me...afterall, she is my wife...and I did say for better or worse.
But there is a definite time for solo work immediately following a DD.
God be with us all.