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New Beginnings
User Topic: Why does my X care what I do on FB?
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 7:24 AM, May 10th (Friday)

oh my X is such a gem some time

I accidentally sent a friend request to OW (apple butter betty). It really was an accident. I thought she was blocked.

I got a text from my X "why did you send a friend request to ABB?") --- I didn't realize I had. Sent a brief explanation. Suggested she ignore it and block me. Why is this a big deal?

His response to my explanation "no worries. Sorry for bothering you. Sorry you feel the need to block me from knowing who your friends are on FB"

I have my settings on FB locked down fairly tight. The reasons are none of his business.

Don't know why I responded at all but I sent back a response that basically said "almost everyone is blocked from that"

his response "OK I guess I never thought of blocking people I'm friends with on FB from seeing who else I'm friends with on FB" my response

"then don't do it?"

He went on a complete tired after that. apparently I'm flippant. I must be hiding something. blah blah blah blah

My only question? Its been 5yrs. Why do you care?


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8241 | Registered: Apr 2008
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 8:38 AM, May 10th (Friday)

He cares because he is NOSY and has been obviously face-stalking you and wants to know your every move!!! Trust me on this one!! MOW actually took over a running site and changed her name to a generic name "Anne" (which is nothing close to her name) and friended me pretending to be this other person and would frequently send me messages being all nice and asking me nosy questions about my life and running...etc! She even had me and Piper's donor (dating at the time after the divorce) to put on a running event for her as she always "conveniently" couldn't attend but admired our running and needed assistance. Being the nice person I am, I agreed. This was all during my divorce and a few months after ...until I finally put 2 and 2 together and deleted and blocked her spying ass! I remember she sent me a message right before I blocked her saying "I was wondering how long it was going to take you to figure it out!" CRAZY BITCH!

My friends list is locked down too! There are just some friends that I have that I can't 100% trust aren't still talking to MOW or Piper's sperm donor....and there's really no way for me to know...so I just make it so they can only spy on me with restrictions. Just makes things easier....

Its none of his damn business who you are friends with!!! Ron Jeremy could be one of your best buds and he doesn't need to know that!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:41 AM, May 10th (Friday)]


"Life's curve balls come out of nowhere.... just remember to duck and weave!"

ME - BW - 34
HIM - XWH - 38
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2421 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
NeverAgain2013
Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, May 10th (Friday)

Why were you even looking at her profile in order to accidentally send a friend request in the first place?

It just tells them that 5 years out, you're still handing over your power to these two because you care enough to look at her profile.

Block both of them.


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him.

Posts: 954 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, May 10th (Friday)

I didn't even realize I had. I wasn't looking at her profile to my knowledge. She popped up as "people I might now" as well the FB page devoted to their dog and HS friend.

Apparently while watching TV, my uber sensitive mouse clicked where it shouldn't. I thought she was blocked until I found out last night. I blocked her EONs ago.

My X and I are FB friends for a variety of convenience reasons. We are not normally hostile anymore. It just makes things easier and I don't give a flying fig what he sees on my FB page. I'm not that interesting.

After 5 years, I just lack the ire or pain that dictates the 'block them' reaction. I don't FB stalk either one of them.

I just find it weird that he cares or has noticed he can't see my friends. He's still texting me about it this morning b/c I won't respond anymore.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8241 | Registered: Apr 2008
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, May 10th (Friday)

See, normal (healthy) people would see your profile and think, "Hexed is private."

X sees your profile and thinks, "Hexed blocked me from seeing xyz. She must be hiding something from me. THIS IS ABOUT ME!"

X thinks the world revolves around the sun shining out of his ass. Everything is about him. Everything is personal.

This is because he's fucked up.

I'm not sure how much simpler I can state it.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13188 | Registered: Jul 2011
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, May 10th (Friday)

X sees your profile and thinks, "Hexed blocked me from seeing xyz. She must be hiding something from me. THIS IS ABOUT ME!"

BINGO Amazonia!!!


"Life's curve balls come out of nowhere.... just remember to duck and weave!"

ME - BW - 34
HIM - XWH - 38
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2421 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, May 10th (Friday)

"why did you send a friend request to ABB?")

If this happens again, ignore.
He cares because he has not detached. (unhealthy, but obviously that is no surprise)


Posts: 4604 | Registered: Dec 2009
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, May 10th (Friday)

I'd just block them both - for lots of reasons. The main one being having to have anything like this discussion at all.


Sending all of the love and strength I can muster to Phoenix1 and her family.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Posts: 4517 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
nolight
Member
Member # 32785
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, May 10th (Friday)

I'm with Amazonia on this one too. CN I ask why she's called apple butter Betty?!

Posts: 421 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Hawaii
tabitha95
Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, May 10th (Friday)

He sounds paranoid and controlling.

I block a lot of people on FB. Not even people I don't hate or anything...just people that may know someone, who knows someone, etc...


BW (me) - 44
DS 13, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3191 | Registered: Dec 2008
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, May 10th (Friday)

no light - Apple Butter Betty comes from the first tangible proof of the A. "ho-made" apple butter under the front seat of my car. I was suspicious and new he was lying when I asked about it. Her first name starts with B so I called her Apple Butter Betty for a while. Now I just use her name. A Nickname gives her too much status.

I recently so a funny on FB about 'Ho-made' apple butter so I dusted off the nickname for a giggle.

Yeah- I think my X is paranoid. weird. I just don't get it.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8241 | Registered: Apr 2008
Topic Posts: 11