SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: He is so awesome!
NoraLee
Member
Member # 37922
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, May 10th (Friday)

So H is charging his phone out in the garage (where we smoke)...he goes in to make dinner, so I sneak a peek...we're 8 months into R and he's been very consistent remorse-wise...so I don't check as much - or as blatantly as I used to. So I'm going through the usual on his iPhone and I hear the door start to open. By reflex, I push the home button and put the phone back...but he's seen me - and now I'm sitting there sheepishly, like the cat who ate the canary - feeling guilty (which I know I shouldn't - but he's given me no cause for concern recently and working sooo hard...)

He chuckles - and says whatchadoing? And I say "...sorry..." and he says - "baby - you can use my phone whenever you want...no apologies. I know how much you like my calculator app!" he made me laugh and I love love love him!!!


Me - BW - 44
Him - FWH - 42
Married 16 years
D day - 1/2 truth - July 2012
Full disclosure - August 2012
EA with skanky waitress coworker
3 kids - 14, 16, 21
In R

Posts: 791 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Canada
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, May 10th (Friday)


Posts: 35376 | Registered: Mar 2011
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, May 10th (Friday)

Humor helped us through a lot of the tough stuff.

I'm glad he gets it.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37745 | Registered: Sep 2007
libertyrocks
Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, May 10th (Friday)

hahaha. so cute!!


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
still2suspicious
Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, May 10th (Friday)

clapping for NL's H!!


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1290 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
BIZZYBEEZ
Member
Member # 37645
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, May 10th (Friday)

That's great! I get that same sheepish look when H catches me in his phone. I always apologize & he always says "Dont you dare apologize. I did this to us. I'm the one who's sorry for what I did". He always gives me a hug & a kiss so I know it really IS okay. Somehow it always makes me feel better.


BW (me) - 47
WH (him) - 39
DDay - 10/22/2012 (worst day of my life)

Learning to breathe again - one day at a time


Posts: 235 | Registered: Nov 2012
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, May 10th (Friday)

True Love, is when your FWH tells you that if you can''t remember how to bring up the task bar when his Civilization II game, in the late 20th century is on, to just flush the game if you need to see the computer. Giving up the chance to nuke the world and be the last man standing on earth just so I can check his computer history is Real Love!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4856 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Patchy
Member
Member # 39228
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, May 10th (Friday)

I love it! :D

That's a true sign of a man who wants to build trust and has nothing to hide.

I do feel the need to offer a teeny word of caution, however. I was at a point where I didn't feel I needed to check up on my guy, and it was around that time he started seeing her again. However, he wasn't responding the way your guy did when he saw me snooping. He'd get irritated. But he responds more like your guy now. He's an open book and says he loves that he can leave his phone out and not worry about me seeing anything. I still check from time to time . . . just cause. Cause after I had "thought" I could stop and then was slammed to the ground wishing I had never stopped, its hard to actually stop. But he truly is giving me no reason to suspect anything these days and is totally in love with me and showing me all the time. So . . . yay.


Me BS 44
Him FWS 45
Married 23 Years
DDay 1 July 2012
DDay 2 Christmas Day 2013 same woman
EA with kissing, very strong bond and talk of leaving spouses for each other.

Posts: 93 | Registered: May 2013
NoraLee
Member
Member # 37922
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, May 10th (Friday)

Don't worry Patchy - I know the signs! If he ever protects that phone again, I'll go right into PI mode!! And I plan on doing a full sweep in the next few months - just to verify he's NC at work - its a busy casino - I just need to be sure I don't see him on a secret cell - although I've torn the house and cars apart looking! Also, his time when we're apart is always accounted for... I truly feel this is true R but he became such a skilled liar in such a short time - lies told to intentionally mislead me ... I just don't ever wanted to be fooled again!


Me - BW - 44
Him - FWH - 42
Married 16 years
D day - 1/2 truth - July 2012
Full disclosure - August 2012
EA with skanky waitress coworker
3 kids - 14, 16, 21
In R

Posts: 791 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Canada
KBeguile
Member
Member # 38348
Default  Posted: 12:39 AM, May 11th (Saturday)

t-j
Skan, I love you and your man. Any relationship with Civ II in it has got to be something special.
/t-j


Me: fWS 32
Her: BS 35 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 4yo
M: 7 years
DDays: 2012/11/14, 2013/02/05, 2013/03/09
-
"Everything that happens now is happening 'now.'"
"What happened to 'then'?"
"We passed 'then.'"

Posts: 800 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
HardenMyHeart
Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 1:36 AM, May 11th (Saturday)


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5665 | Registered: Aug 2007
catlover50
Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 5:39 AM, May 11th (Saturday)

Good for you both!

One of the positives that has come out of this mess for us is that my fWH is MUCH less obsessed with his phone. It wasn't just A related; it was just really intrusive; I think he may have been addicted. Now it's just a phone, and I can touch it whenever I want!



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1735 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
Topic Posts: 12