I wish I was more of an asshole. Apparently standing around and not looking confused is authoritative enough that people ask your permission for random shit. "Is it okay if I park in the one hour parking for three hours?" You would assume she might be asking "Can I go move my car in an hour?" or even "Is that sign just a scare tactic and I won't get caught?" but it's probably "But officer, they told me inside it was okay."
I wish I had it in me to say "Oh yeah, we have a deal with Officer MisterOfficer and he doesn't fuck with anybody in OUR meetings. Just tell him 'The blue cock glows at midnight' and flap your arms twice, that's the secret signal."
The number of people who have asked me if it's okay to go into the concert grounds, as I am standing in line next to my wife or friends, is absolutely amazing simply because I go to them maybe once every five years and it's only outdone by the number of insane drunk people trying to be my friend. Also, if you are the guy who always tries to have a conversation with me from 6 urinals down in the mens room with 10 other dudes in there? I don't know you, and no, you can't go in yet.