Needhelp123 thank you for your reply I'm glad someone can relate.
Hardlessons to be honest im not really doing anything specific to find out why im doing what i do.
To be more honest I think things maybe getting worse. I don't really show so much love and romanticism. I may give a kind word here and there but nothing too great. My bs tells me daily how much she needs to feel loved by me and I just keep going on as if life is fine. I guess I want life to be fine but my passive behavior and attitude is ruining our relationship.
To be brutally honest I don't know why. I'm just not really happy with my life right now. I had a dream about life and now everything is different. I like my job but don't love it I have a son and love him but I don't have any other family or friends either. She has a family that I see pretty often and they are great people but I just don't feel a part of them. So I'm feeling lonely, guess it would be the perfect time to be close with my wife huh. But stupid me just feels and stays so distant.
I don't need help I need a miracle. I keep thinking I need IC but again I'm just so lazy to do anything.im about to say ill give them a call tomorrow, we'll see,I hope I do.