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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Custody question
rumorhasit
Member
Member # 38943
Default  Posted: 12:49 AM, May 12th (Sunday)

Talked to DDs mom today. While he hasn't made threats, she fears that he will take DD from school. That one day she will go to pick her up and she won't be there.

They have a CS agreement but nothing legally decided about custody. DD lives primarily with her mom, but has WXBFs last name (they were never married). So she doesn't think she can tell the school not to let him take her.

If there is no custody arrangment but the custodial parent has concerns, can they do anything to protect the child prior to filing for custody?


BGF- 30 (me)
WXBF- 30 (him)
Last Dday- 4-8-13, he left for OW#2
Us- 1 DS 3yo, Him- 1 DD 7yo

Mrs. Robinson- 41, S but still M

"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." - Christopher Robin


Posts: 205 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Southern California
Catwoman
Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 5:57 AM, May 12th (Sunday)

Short answer: no.

She needs to get a custody agreement ASAP. We have a member here who was in the same situation and her baby's father took the child and made her sign paperwork every time she wanted to se him.

Nothing to fool around with--she needs to get a legally recognized custody agreement NOW.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29611 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
Fooled Me Twice
Member
Member # 34824
Default  Posted: 6:20 AM, May 12th (Sunday)

What Cat said above - my atty told me she has had clients that have waited at the bus stop and both parents would be there waiting for the kids to hop off and whoever literally grabbed them first would take them. You don't want it to get to that. That's not best for anyone, especially the kids.

Fortunately for me, my STBXWH hasn't really wanted DD that much so it wasn't a huge concern for me. Some EX's do this though just to get back at the other parent - very sad.


ME: BS 33 (now 34)
HIM: WS 33 (now 35)
OW: 22, howorker (now 24)
July 2007: Porn found on computer along with profiles on dating websites.
DDay: January 16, 2012 - suspicious since Dec 2011
Divorced: June 11, 2013

Posts: 209 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Here and There
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, May 12th (Sunday)

No. She needs a custody agreement.

I was very concerned that my ex-shat would take off with my son (he tends to do irrational, impulsive things). I made sure that I filed and had primary custody of my son. That way, if he ever tries something, I have legal recourse.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4634 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
rumorhasit
Member
Member # 38943
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, May 12th (Sunday)

Darn. Thank you, I will pass the info along to her and tell her to file asap. So glad DS is too little for school.


BGF- 30 (me)
WXBF- 30 (him)
Last Dday- 4-8-13, he left for OW#2
Us- 1 DS 3yo, Him- 1 DD 7yo

Mrs. Robinson- 41, S but still M

"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." - Christopher Robin


Posts: 205 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Southern California
JessicaFL127
Member
Member # 26864
Default  Posted: 6:48 AM, May 13th (Monday)

I have sole custody and the school informed me that it doesn't matter, they give creepy xh any info he wants and he can pick up anytime. Very frustrating.


BW,32
divorced for 6 years
mom to two awesome boys,10 and 9

"But you said your vows, and you closed the door
On so many men who would have loved you more" -Cath, DCFC

"The most amazing things can come from some terrible lies"


Posts: 1244 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Missouri
rumorhasit
Member
Member # 38943
Default  Posted: 1:12 AM, May 14th (Tuesday)

He showed up at lunchtime at DDs school again today (2nd time)

I understand the school can't turn him away but you'd think they'd express concern over the affect this has on DD. I hate that she is trying to concentrate in school and is having to wonder if her dad is gonna show up at lunch. School should be a safe place for children not a place of unease.

I'm really gonna push the custody issue w her mom. She can't afford the fees but there are waivers you can try for... ugh, why can't he just be a grown up??


BGF- 30 (me)
WXBF- 30 (him)
Last Dday- 4-8-13, he left for OW#2
Us- 1 DS 3yo, Him- 1 DD 7yo

Mrs. Robinson- 41, S but still M

"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." - Christopher Robin


Posts: 205 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Southern California
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:30 AM, May 14th (Tuesday)

I have sole custody and the school informed me that it doesn't matter, they give creepy xh any info he wants and he can pick up anytime. Very frustrating.

t/j - That doesn't sound right. If you have sole custody, then you have the right to determine who takes your child.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9674 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 8