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User Topic: I lost my Mom today
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

My mother passed away today, on Mother's Day. She was 89. It wasn't completely unexpected, but still so terribly hard.

"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2482 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

((((Too_Trusting)))) I am so sorry. No matter how old we are, no matter how old our mothers are, they are and always will be our mothers and our soft place to fall. The one person who will always love us unconditionally, the one person who has loved us from the day we were born (if not before). I am so very sorry for your loss.

BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson

Posts: 9801 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Member # 17840
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, May 12th (Sunday)


I am so sorry for your loss.

[This message edited by bbee at 12:34 PM, May 12th (Sunday)]

This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

All's Well That Ends Well, Act I, Scene 1

Posts: 6656 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: SE US
Member # 13813
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I am so sorry. (((Too_Trusting)))

Married 18 yrs, together 25+.
D-day: 2/18/07.
1 child
The story doesn't really matter anymore. Time is a great healer. Life is good.

Posts: 2432 | Registered: Mar 2007
Member # 13813
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

(double post)

[This message edited by okaynow at 12:39 PM, May 12th (Sunday)]

Married 18 yrs, together 25+.
D-day: 2/18/07.
1 child
The story doesn't really matter anymore. Time is a great healer. Life is good.

Posts: 2432 | Registered: Mar 2007
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, May 12th (Sunday)


I'm very sorry for your loss.

Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."

Posts: 38064 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

((((((TT)))))) I am so very sorry. Sending you comfort.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25765 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I'm so sorry for your loss. No matter how old or "not unexpected" it is, it's always hard. Even when we feel they are no longer in pain, it's still hard when it happens. (((Too_Trusting)))

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2388 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Member # 11606
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

(((Too Trusting)))

I am so sorry for your loss.

BS 42 (Me)
FWH 45
M 23 years
Three Children ages 20, 17, and 8
D-Day 08/10/2004, 7-Year LTA that ended 4 months before D-Day.

Evil never thinks it's evil, it always has a really good reason. ~ Joan of Arcadia, TV Series

Posts: 4558 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: Pacific Northwest
looking forward
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I am very sorry for your loss, Too_Trusting, especially today. But think of the wonderful memories you have of her, and, from now on, every Mother's Day will be extra special for you.
~ lf

Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 2855 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, May 12th (Sunday)


Posts: 11754 | Registered: Mar 2008
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I'm so, so sorry.

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

Posts: 8086 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I'm so sorry for your loss.

(((Too_Trusting and family)))

BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I'm very sorry for your loss.

(((Too_Trusting and family)))

fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10383 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, May 12th (Sunday)


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15415 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 3:07 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

(((Too_Trusting))) I'm so sorry!!!

Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24597 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

((Too Trusting))

I'm sorry.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 24261
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

(((Too -Trusting)))

I am so very sorry for your loss. Those of us who have lost our own mothers know your deep pain and are thinking of you today.

[This message edited by cass at 3:32 PM, May 12th (Sunday)]

DDay - April 2008
Me - 54 and doing great. Found myself again and loving life
Him - who??

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)

Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!

Posts: 4965 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I'm so sorry.


Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.

Posts: 13810 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, May 12th (Sunday)


Posts: 35919 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I am so sorry

Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2713 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I'm sorry for your loss. ((((hugs))))

D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Member # 19333
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

My deepest sympathy. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

You can't change the wind, but you can adjust your sails.

Me Tarzan
Her Jane

D-Day 4/14/08

Posts: 9561 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Birthplace of America's Music
Member # 12475
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I am so sorry.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply, Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God

Thank you, Lord, for the lightness of my burdens

Posts: 8233 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: midwest
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this.

Sending (((hugs))) and strength to you and your family

Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I'm so sorry for your loss

“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44975 | Registered: Sep 2006
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I'm so sorry. Big hugs to you.

Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

Posts: 7824 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

Thanks, everyone. I don't think it has completely sunk in yet. I now have no parents alive. Being a grown up sucks.

"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2482 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

((Too_Trusting)) I'm so sorry, its hard no matter how expected...

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4135 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
Dark Inertia
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

Oh, I am so sorry :( That is very sad to hear.

"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1284 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, May 12th (Sunday)


..very sad to hear this on your Mom's special day.

..when i was 12, i drowned in a HS swimming pool..and just before i lost consciousness and sank to the bottom, i called out "I love you Mom" !!

..Moms hold that 'special' place in our hearts. I'm sure yours did too.

..on that day, the lifeguard was also very special.

..prayers sent to you and family.


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf

Posts: 4129 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
weeping willow
Member # 22800
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I'm so very sorry for your loss.


BW - me FWH - him
D Day - July 26, 2007
Married 36 years

Posts: 1793 | Registered: Feb 2009
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I am so sorry. (((((too trusting))))

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5279 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2787 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
Member # 38705
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I am very sorry.


Sometimes it's lonely, Sometimes it's only me & the shadows that fill this room...
But it's a great day to be alive & the sun still shines when I close my eyes ~Travis Tritt

Posts: 83 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Washington
Member # 29728
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, May 12th (Sunday)


I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I will come out stronger!

Posts: 254 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: iowa
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, May 12th (Sunday)



Posts: 500 | Registered: Jun 2012
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

Too Trusting--I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2127 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
Member # 23769
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, May 12th (Sunday)


Married 1998, 2 kids
D-day3/27/09,he left 5/23/09
WH wants to rebuild 3/21/10
He moved back in 9/25/10,
Dec, 2011-finally putting it all together, H had multiple affairs.
Possible porn addict for 15 yrs.
01/2014- in house separation

Posts: 3280 | Registered: Apr 2009
Member # 16590
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.

It takes all kinds of kinds....Miranda Lambert

Posts: 3245 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: So Calif
little turtle
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, May 12th (Sunday)


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4209 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, May 12th (Sunday)


It hurts; doesn't matter your age. You're in my thoughts.

You can't fill a cup with no bottom.

Posts: 3893 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 12:34 AM, May 13th (Monday)

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.

Posts: 4694 | Registered: Oct 2007
Member # 12233
Default  Posted: 12:55 AM, May 13th (Monday)

I'm so sorry to hear this.

Be a lion, not a mowess...
The Cowardly Lion

Posts: 11295 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: A whole 'nother country
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 7:02 AM, May 13th (Monday)


I'm so sorry, thinking of you.

Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.

Posts: 2795 | Registered: Feb 2006
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, May 13th (Monday)

Just saw this...I'm so sorry to hear the news.

My deepest condolences.



Fidelity isn't a's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!

Posts: 21071 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Member # 9918
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, May 13th (Monday)


I very, very sorry for your loss.

Posts: 1970 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From: PA
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, May 13th (Monday)

I'm soo sorry.



BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6582 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Member # 3432
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, May 13th (Monday)

(((Too_Trusting))) I'm so sorry for your loss

**The soul would have no rainbow
Had the eyes no tears.~J.Cheney
**Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left. ~Hubert Humphrey

Posts: 1652 | Registered: Feb 2004 | From: Michigan
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, May 13th (Monday)

((((Too Trusting))))

My mum made it to her 90th and called it a day. She was just tired and done with living.

Toughest winter ever for those of us she left behind but I believe she's got my back, always.

Big hugs to you today.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17549 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, May 13th (Monday)


Losing our Moms is so hard, as they are truly the one person who loves unconditionally.

Bless her for making it to 89.

God Bless your family.

Me: BS
Him: WH

Posts: 1304 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, May 13th (Monday)


My condolences...

FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 5978 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
Member # 4956
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, May 13th (Monday)

Im so sorry.

BS/60s WS/60s Divorcing and not soon enough~!
Its nice to be important, but its more important to be nice...

DD 6-14

Posts: 3102 | Registered: Jul 2004 | From: somewhere over the rainbow
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, May 13th (Monday)

((((((too trusting)))))

So very sorry for your very sorry. Very warm hugs headed your way.

Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?

Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, May 13th (Monday)


Posts: 1736 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 12:30 AM, May 14th (Tuesday)

I am so sorry {{{LT}}}

There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1670 | Registered: Mar 2004
Member # 38681
Default  Posted: 12:53 AM, May 14th (Tuesday)

I am sorry for your loss. My condolences.

BH 33
FWW 32
DS: 3 year old.
Dday 10/14/2012
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 23875
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Sorry to hear about your Mom.

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."

Mark Twain

Me-BS 52
Him-WS 53
Together 33 years

6-5-06 Day of Reckoning

"The acquired inability to escape"

Posts: 1058 | Registered: May 2009 | From: swfl
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Thanks everyone. It is hard and I really appreciate all of your prayers and condolences. It really means the world to me.

"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2482 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
Exit Wounds
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

(((too_trusting))) She is in a much, much better place now...but that doesn't make it any easier on you....I'm so sorry for your loss...

Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Member # 38674
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

sorry for your loss .. my thoughts and prayers are with you

me 33
him 32
6 wonderful kids 12 yrs 8 yrs 5 yrs 4 yrs and 2 yrs ..and new baby
married 10 years together for 12 yrs
working on R

my give a damn is busted

Posts: 225 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: cold ohio
Topic Posts: 61