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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Did Ex WS wish you a Happy Mother's Day
BrighterFuture
Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

For those with children with the ex WS, did he wish you a happy mother's day or send a card or a gift? My exfiance didn't, but that was expected and it doesn't bother me.


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 260 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
kernel
Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

My X texted me a message last year, and I did not take it well. I think he may have learned from that as I haven't heard from him today, but it's not over yet.

eta: My kids are adults. I will not do a thing for him for Father's Day. The man I had children with doesn't exist any longer.

[This message edited by kernel at 8:19 AM, May 13th (Monday)]


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 4661 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

Yea, here's what I got this morning: "Thank you for our three awesome kids. Happy mothers day."

I didn't respond because I just didn't want to *go there* in my head.....even for a thx or your welcome.

Whatever.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCyL6pa_L4M


Posts: 7239 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
BrighterFuture
Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

Lol! On the other hand, do you do anything for them on Father's Day? I don't intend to do anything for him.


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 260 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I take the kids to get him a card and small present.

From me personally, no. I can't bring myself to acknowledge that day to him.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCyL6pa_L4M


Posts: 7239 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

RUFKM? He did his best to ruin this day for me when we were together. He sure as hell isn't going to even acknowledge my existence now. He's still angry that I forced him to become a father.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8756 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
roughroadahead
Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

Yup. Got a text for happy mothers day from whatever godforsaken back country camp site he is biking through. He also had a card and a gift cert from the kids. I responded to the text with "thanks".

I also had the kids call my MIL. She wasn't home. Oh well...


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 707 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
BrighterFuture
Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

Nature-Girl, just like you he ruined the 2 mother's days when we were together for 2 years. The first one I was pregnant with my first child by him, he said I wasn't a mother yet. The second one, he put a status update on his fb wall about how great his mom is but nothing about me. He was never quite happy with any of my pregnancies. He wanted an abortion but I refused due to my religious beliefs. That explains his attitude. I know my children will honor me when they get older.


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 260 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

I also had the kids call my MIL

Huh. Does it make me a bad person because I didn't even THINK about doing this? Actually hadn't even thought about her until just now.....


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCyL6pa_L4M


Posts: 7239 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
PhoenixRisen
Member
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

Nope
no text
not even a word when I saw him in person.
he didn't organize any gifts from the kids - which I thought he would. I did get their delightful school made pressies and their eager faces and hugs!, but I thought his lack of effort was stupid since fathers day is when school is out. So if I do nothing in June he gets nothing.
(I'll still do something... I'm teaching our kids how to behave and that is what it is about).

He did seem totally pissed at me today so I'm thinking he forgot his own mother (when M sent her flowers, but no longer (another story)) and he is probably blaming me for his own lack of forethought.
-am I wrong to smile at that?!?


Posts: 407 | Registered: Jun 2012
LeftBehind08
Member
Member # 38705
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

Ex did not. However, he took the kiddos out and bought the card they picked out.


Sometimes it's lonely, Sometimes it's only me & the shadows that fill this room...
But it's a great day to be alive & the sun still shines when I close my eyes ~Travis Tritt

Posts: 68 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Washington
sunshine226
Member
Member # 38851
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

no, nothing here either, got a call last year wishing me happy mothers day but not this year

hes with OW, and her kids spoiling her with a meal of fresh lobster, that was our tradition,

But I had my kids with me and my new baby grandson so i had a good day while they were here

As for fathers day, the kids didnt acknowledge it for him last year, although i did send him a text wishing him a happy fathers day. Our kids are older and they are very upset with what WH has done to our family so they dont show him any love or respect, sad but true

Not sure what I will do this year, depends on what he does regarding today, he might actually text me tomorrow, seems he sends best wishes the day after, first Christmas, New Years, and my birthday. Surprisingly Easter was right on time with a "I wish i was with you right now, I miss you so much, I wish you didnt tell me not to come back| (on March 22, i called him at work and told him that i dont want to see him anymore as long as OW is a part of his life, that was over 7 weeks ago)

Looks like hes happy where he is, why is beyond me, she is opposite of me, bossy, demanding, etc, and has told WH sooooo many lies about herself and about things me or DD did (which we didnt, like making phone calls to her, saying stuff we said but didnt say)

Shes a real piece of work, but he stays, and today he spent it with her and kids that he has no biological connection to, she is not a mom because of WH, 2 other men had the misfortune of that honour, and they have nothing to do with their kids, makes me wonder if they saw her for what she really is


Me-BS (44)
Him-WS (47)
DDay 1/1/2012, common law for 22 1/2 years when he began A in September 2011
Status: moving on without him

Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2013
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, May 12th (Sunday)

No. He texted the kids yesterday to see if they had plans for me. When both told them they were waiting for payday, he said, "Oh. Okay."

I am not sure why he bothered, other than to make sure my day was as crappy as it always was when he was around.

(It wasn't crappy. The kids are delightful. But why call your kids to make sure they're taking care of Mother's Day, if you have no intention of helping them? He's so bizarre.)

And yes, until now I have made sure that Father's Day has been observed.

I won't be doing so this year. The kids are both very disenchanted with him. If they choose to observe the day, fine. But I will not orchestrate anything. He's spent 26 years being an asshole on Mother's Day. I abdicate.

[This message edited by solus sto at 9:04 PM, May 12th (Sunday)]


BS-me, 52
WH(Mr. Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS17
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 7967 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
BrighterFuture
Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 1:22 AM, May 13th (Monday)

Happy Mother's Day to all of you wonderful ladies. Your children will always appreciate you. That's all that matters. Hugs to all of you!


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 260 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
AussieMum
Member
Member # 36579
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, May 13th (Monday)

He had the kids on Sat and bought a card and box of chocolates to give to me - no real thought put into it and certainly nothing personal.

On Sunday, my son had a football match and STBX was there with his troll and he just ignored me - walked right past me.

Ah well, my kids love me and made a fuss of me on Mother's Day. I don't need or want that POS's empty platitudes.

Hope all you amazing mums had a good day.


Me 46
STBXH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS11 & DD7)
Separated Jan 13. He's now living with OW3.

Posts: 179 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
macakipa
Member
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, May 13th (Monday)

Nope. Nada. Zilch.


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, May 13th (Monday)

I get very nice and simple gifts from DD if STBXH takes her shopping. So far she's honored every occassion since he left. If I thank him (I was taught politeness above all else) he makes certain to tell me "It was all her and just his money."

I have a struggle letting go, as you all know, so will do the same with her for father's day. It's hard to let go of 20 years and if I take myself out of the picture, I suppose in his own selfish way he tries to be a father.

Yep, for this baby he asked several times if I was "sure I wanted to keep it." After several cows I had about it, he's accepted the baby and now talks about names and apts.

My core beliefs could not let me part with this baby coming, no matter how hard I know it will be. He already robbed me of one major core belief-thou shall not commit adultery-so all I have left is the baby coming from that point of view. I know I didn't to anything, but was "touched" by it.

Sorry for the lengthy post and belated Happy Mother's Day.


Ashland 13

The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge


Posts: 1965 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
hurting2much
Member
Member # 25643
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, May 13th (Monday)

XWH sent me a card in the mail using my married name. I changed my name back to my maiden name over a month ago (that struck me as very odd). In the card, he wrote how much respect he has for me. Really?...respect for me? As always, he can write/say the right things, but he can't live that way.

I thought it was very strange he should send me a card.


Divorced

Posts: 1096 | Registered: Sep 2009
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, May 13th (Monday)

Sorry for everyone who has heard this story already, but I got into a bit of an email war with STBX over Mother's Day with him refusing me having them since Sunday is normally his day and "It's not a real holiday." I forwarded everything to my attorney, who talked to his attorney, who told him it was a bad idea to refuse me Mother's Day, so he sent me an email saying "I don't want to fight anymore. If it means that much to you, you can have them for Mother's Day." So I was charged a little over a hundred bucks for something that should have been obvious. The morning of Mother's Day, I get an email from his saying, "Just wanted to say Happy Mother's Day! Hope you enjoy your time with the boys." I sent back...crickets. Yeah, fuck you asshole..

I did send flowers to him mom. This is a complicated relationship. She wants to support her son, but he doesn't respect her AT ALL; and when they fight and he refuses letting her see the kids, she goes through me, so we keep our relationship strictly about the kids now. She was a wonderful mother-in-law and is great with my kids, so I make every effort to keep in touch with her. Really wish I was co-parenting with her instead..

And no, I don't believe I will be doing anything for Father's Day. He doesn't deserve it..


BW~ 35, Two Darling Sons~ 10 and 6
D-Day 9/2012
S 10/2012
Filed D 11/2012
Divorced! 4/2014

Posts: 1369 | Registered: Feb 2013
TrustGone
Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, May 13th (Monday)

XWH#1 did not acknowledge the day. He always left it up to his mother to take care of my son's Mother's Day to me. They are now estranged and have been for a few years. Now son is grown. He did call me. He is in the military. Ex-MIL did send me a nice card and I will call her today. I did not send her anything as I try to keep as much distance as possible.

WH#2 and I have no children together but he did take me and his parents out for lunch and he bought his Mom a nice plant and I got her a card from us. My step-son called me. It was actually a very enjoyable day for me.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, May 13th (Monday)

Nope. But he did send our 13 year old home from visitation, saying she looked like a prostitute and she wasn't welcome in his home, along with a bunch of other crap that broke her heart.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15279 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Just a Cali girl
Lola2kids
Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, May 13th (Monday)

Nope.
Nothing.
He usually sends a text and I just shake my head at the stupidity. Nothing this year.

He hasn't been around or called the kids since last Monday.

I suspect he is in Europe with MOW. I had 3 phone calls with blocked numbers that I don't pick up and no message was left. Could have been him. Don't care.

He can't win anymore with me. If he texts me or tries to call, I think he's a POS. If he doesn't do anything, he's a POS.

Basically, I just think he's a POS.


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(9)
WS: Him 49 (X...together 12 years)
D-Day April 18, 2011, he moved out Sept. 11, 2011...
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder
I'm finding that I am growing more and more fond of his absence.

Posts: 1224 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, May 13th (Monday)

He can't win anymore with me. If he texts me or tries to call, I think he's a POS. If he doesn't do anything, he's a POS.

Basically, I just think he's a POS.

Oh, thank you for this Lola. I really needed it today. Ditto on that every day and twice on Sundays


BW~ 35, Two Darling Sons~ 10 and 6
D-Day 9/2012
S 10/2012
Filed D 11/2012
Divorced! 4/2014

Posts: 1369 | Registered: Feb 2013
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:54 AM, May 13th (Monday)

whoremuppets.


Sending all of the love and strength I can muster to Phoenix1 and her family.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Posts: 4518 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Dadtryingtocope
Member
Member # 36726
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, May 13th (Monday)

I said nothing other than my text to her at 9:30 saying you are late for your 9:00 AM pick up of the kids. She didn't pick them up until 4:30PM and my oldest wouldn't go with her. Outright refused. She didn't know what to do so she left him with me. So she did not spend Mother's Day with one of her two kids. I did say to her during the early exchange "I guess you didn't plan to spend time with your kids on Mother's Day. The fact you did not even have the decency to give me a heads up you would be out of town and not pick up at the time designated by the custody agreement is both selfish and inconsiderate."

I expect nothing on Father's Day other than to have my kids ready by 9AM for me to pick up and take on vacation for that week.

F-ing Muppet.


BH me 45
WW her 37
DDay 8-17-12
2 kids (11, 8)
Filed for D 9/14/12
Divorced 4/17/13

Posts: 407 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: PA
movingfast
Member
Member # 32306
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, May 13th (Monday)

No, and I'm actually a little miffed about that. This is the first time since DDay that he has not taken the kids to buy cards for me. And, he had the kids on Saturday AND they ate dinner at the mall so he had the opportunity. Plus he knew it was Mother's Day because I made a point to tell him ow was not welcome at DD1's tournament this weekend.

Through the years I have, with the kids, made him some very sentimental gifts for Father's Day. He has these items hanging around his computer area. Plus, it's actually in the final D papers that each parent is to support the children in celebrating these things. So, I'm left with, do I do nothing like he has or do I lead by example and have the kids get him something.


Me BW: 45
Him WH: 46
DD: 5-20-11
M: 14 yrs. Together 15 yrs.
Children: (4) ages 13 and younger.
Divorced: 5/24/13
**my apologies for the typos... I login off my tablet and the "smart" type isn't always so smart.

Posts: 266 | Registered: May 2011 | From: movingfast
ExposedNiblet
Member
Member # 30803
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, May 13th (Monday)

Good Lord no...and I'm loving the silence.


Divorced
Me ($39.95 plus S & H)
DS1(17), DS2(15)

Enjoying this chapter in my life.
Learning that being alone does not mean being lonely.
Discovering that where I've been is not as important as where I'm going.


Posts: 355 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Right Here, Canada
Newlease
Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, May 13th (Monday)

I always get a Happy Mother's Day text from XWH. Whatever happened between us, he knows I was/am a good Mama.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7557 | Registered: Aug 2005
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, May 13th (Monday)

Nothing. While I was shopping for mother's day cards at Hallmark, I saw that they actually had cards for "mother of my children" and "former mother-in-law". I thought for a mili-second he would acknowledge me this year but then I laughed and reminded myself that he never did before so why now. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
I FINALLY GOT A COURT DATE: 5/29/14!!

Posts: 1832 | Registered: Oct 2012
hoya96
Member
Member # 28851
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, May 13th (Monday)

He gave me the gift of not contacting me (not being snarky). He didn't contact me all weekend. It was awesome.

I used to make sure the kids got him Christmas, birthday and Father's Day gifts until I was firmly instructed by ex that it was OW's job to do that now. Duly noted.

My husband (re-married) made it a FANTASTIC day as it was also our 1 year anniversary. It was a perfect day with the kids.


Me: 39
3 children ages 9, 11 and 13
Out of blue ex said he wanted separation 2/14/10
DDay #1: 5/23/10 18 month affair with his 22 yr old paralegal
DDay #2 9/22/10 my best friend, now his wife
Divorced: 12/10/10
Re-married a wonderful man: 5/12/12

Posts: 276 | Registered: Jun 2010
suckstobeme
Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, May 13th (Monday)

Moving fast - I'm sorry your asshole ex is, well, an asshole.

As to your question about whether to give him the same treatment or lead by example, I would be in favor of teaching your children to do the right thing no matter how much it sucks. They need to learn that it's important to acknowledge these days and show respect, not just to their father, but to others as they grow. Eventually, they will have their own families and it's important that they have a grasp of these concepts.

That said, I would not advocate spending any of your money, or at least a decent amount of money, on him. I spend about ten dollars on my ex for gifts from the kids for fathers day, Christmas, and his birthday. I usually let them pick out some chocolate because that's what he likes and then they pick out an inexpensive cd or DVD. The kids can make things to supplement until they are old enough to save their own money and ask you to take them to buy a little something with their allowance.

just my two cents.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2497 | Registered: Jan 2011
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, May 13th (Monday)

No, never has.

Posts: 4610 | Registered: Dec 2009
npain
Member
Member # 33539
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, May 14th (Tuesday)

I got a generic Happy Mother's day text. Mind you, he saw me in person and didn't wish me anything to my face...


S,beginning D

Posts: 507 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: New York
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Nope. Showed up to take dd to breakfast 45 minutes late and then admitted it was because he had to drive OW to the airport.

He then was a giant asshole until I told him to get the hell out of my house. Prick.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 714 | Registered: Mar 2013
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Happy  Posted: 4:54 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Wanted to add: SO is 40yo and does not have any children. He got me a Mother's Day Gift.

Posts: 4610 | Registered: Dec 2009
BrighterFuture
Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 2:00 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

To those who got recognition of any kind, good for you. To those who didn't like me, aren't we glad we got rid of POS? My son is too young to do anything for me or him at this time, but when the time comes if he wants to do something for his dad, then I will support him then.
Have a blessed week everyone


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 260 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
BrighterFuture
Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 2:01 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

[This message edited by VeryHurtbroken at 2:03 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)]


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 260 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
movingfast
Member
Member # 32306
Default  Posted: 6:05 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

suckstobeme
Your words are right on. Stbxwh has fallen short and proved how inconsiderate and disrespectful he truly is through all of this. Some of it is hiss own internal battle of how to "multitask" and treat me nicely without is "interfering" with his ability to be in a relationship with ow. The rest is because if he treats me nicely, ow gets p!ssed and he has to deal with her brand of crazy. Total trust issues there.

Anyway, all along I have battled with sinking to his level or taking the high road to be true to myself. Being true to myself always wins out. Like you said, it's leading by example and showing my children how to do the right thing. We talk frequently about the Golden Rule and, unless I practice what I preach, it's not going to resonate with them.

Thank you.


Me BW: 45
Him WH: 46
DD: 5-20-11
M: 14 yrs. Together 15 yrs.
Children: (4) ages 13 and younger.
Divorced: 5/24/13
**my apologies for the typos... I login off my tablet and the "smart" type isn't always so smart.

Posts: 266 | Registered: May 2011 | From: movingfast
la433
Member
Member # 38835
Default  Posted: 6:23 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

I got my xWW gift cards--one from me and one from the kids. I called her and wished her a happy mother's day.

That night she called me back and she sounded horrible, crying and shit. I asked what was wrong and she said she didn't have that great of a day.

I wanted to say, "isn't this what you wanted?"

I suppose the OM didn't get her anything or didn't call or something. Or maybe it was his weekend with his kids and they can't be around her.

No matter. I have to admit while I felt sorry for her, I also smiled a bit because what she has done to *us* deserves a bit of poetic justice, does it not?

For you all of you mothers who had crappy WHs, I'm sorry. But I would encourage you not to treat him like he treats you. I'd still get him a father's day card or something. Do you pour your heart into it? No.

The way I look at is "covering bases". Because we have kids together, I don't want to create a situation where she is able to say "see, your father didn't even get me this or that".

Of course, I know it's in vain, but just sayin...

Am i wrong?


"Arise and be all that you dreamed." ~Flyleaf

Posts: 136 | Registered: Mar 2013
SeanFLA
Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

I didn't do anything for her in terms of getting my 13 year old organized with a gift or anything. I texted him early Sunday morning to make sure he wished her a Happy Mother's Day and to do nice things around the house all day for her..and that was it. I feel a bit guilty about it, I'm not sure why. But the days of me spending money on her for my son are over. She got Mother's Day presents (that I of course bought) from my son the last two years. The only thing she had my son get for me on Father's Day that last two years was a card...and she's Miss MoneyBags. So I'm done with it. I really don't care if my son gives me anything. I'm not really high maintenence like that. Besides, he and I are taking a trip for 10 days to see my mother during Father's Day and spend it with the extended family, so it will be busy for us. She needs to realize what's she's done to me and our family and live with the consequences. I don't want to care about her at all anymore nor think about her feelings like that since she couldn't be bothered with mine with what she did. I always treated her very well on those days (Mothers Day, birthday, etc). She needs to see that.


BS(me) 47
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1351 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
josie11
Member
Member # 31648
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

For the past three years, there has been no acknowledgment whatsoever that I am the mother of his two children. He has no other children, and his mother died ages ago, so I guess he just ignores the day entirely.

No reminding or helping the kids organize a little something, either.

We were married half our lives, yet I feel that I never knew who he really was.


BS: me
XWH: Dead to me, after spending half our lives together
2 teenagers
"I get it now; I didn't get it then. That life is about losing and about doing it as gracefully as possible... and enjoying everything in between."-Mia Farrow

Posts: 370 | Registered: Mar 2011
Alana89
Member
Member # 25011
Default  Posted: 11:29 PM, May 17th (Friday)

Yes. And he had taken them shopping for a card and a small gift.

From the start, our focus was to do our best to keep our issues to us and not involve the kids. It was very important to me that THEY have something for him on holidays and his birthday. He does the same.

As for fathers day, I take them shopping for a card and gift to give to him (their choice always). Then, when they're with him, I treat myself to a Father's Day gift. (Afterall, I'm playing both roles now.) Usually a trip to the hardware store for a 'guy' gift (usually something for yardwork). :)


Posts: 334 | Registered: Aug 2009
BeyondBreaking
Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 11:50 PM, May 17th (Friday)

My daughter's dad ALWAYS wishes me a happy Mother's Day. He didn't get me a gift this year because he doesn't have very many hours at work, but he usually gets me something.

He usually sends well wishes on my birthday and all holidays as well. I do the same for him. We share a kid, and see each other every other weekend for drop-offs/pick-ups. If not more often than that (my daughter is in swimming lessons and we take her to those together sometimes, etc...). I hate the things he did to me and the person he was when we were together, but it has been three and a half years. We get along because he isn't going anywhere and hating him is just hurtful to me at this point.


I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."


Posts: 809 | Registered: Jan 2013
Dawn4
Member
Member # 34073
Default  Posted: 4:27 AM, May 18th (Saturday)

No, but I did get told how selfish and awful of a mother I am for being ten minutes late to pick up my kids, even though I warned him a half hour in advance and he knew I was coming from out of town.
Really at this point I have accepted that he hates my guts. I'll continue to be sweet as a peach to him though. I'm hoping to kill him with kindness.
I'll make sure my kids get him a card for fathers day.


" You must always know how long to stay and when to go." - Let Him Fly, The Dixie Chicks

"This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before". - Beavis and Butthead

Posts: 669 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 44