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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Changing Visitation Order (?)
Thelastknight
Member
Member # 21851
Default  Posted: 1:36 AM, May 13th (Monday)

So I hope everyone is healing well. I'm doing well. Single again and feel good about where I am.

I need to petition the courts to modify my visitation schedule. My daughter is going to start 1st grade in the fall and my visitation is going to go to the standard every-other weekend. Since separation My visitation schedule has been every weekend overnights with Mon-Tue-Wend visitation from 630-3pm. So I now have the kids + one extra day visitation. So its every weekend overnight plus Mon-Tue-wend-Thursdays from 630am to 3pm. I am looking to have the visitation modified to three overnights a week with vacation time in the summer. FYI both kids are doing awesome in school.

What do you guys think? How do I go about getting this done?

TLK


"Pain is weakness leaving the body"

Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2


Posts: 951 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: NW
EvenKeel
Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, May 13th (Monday)

My order has some sort of clause where it can be changed at any time by mutual consent. Do you anticipate a fight with modifying it?


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2043 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Thelastknight
Member
Member # 21851
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, May 13th (Monday)

I do. Kind of sucks but I have a very unreasonable xWW. However I am going to send her a letter letting her what my wishes are and going to suggest mediation, that I will pay for.


"Pain is weakness leaving the body"

Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2


Posts: 951 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: NW
Kuwaited
Member
Member # 5491
Default  Posted: 9:25 PM, May 13th (Monday)

the standard every-other weekend.

And THIS is what pisses me off to the max.

Absent extenuating circumstances...the "standard" should be 50/50. Who sets the fucking "standard" ????

I don't know your situation with respect to the ability to actually do 50/50 (perhaps you can't do it logistically), but you should be able to ask for and get as much time as you wish up to 50/50 - in my opinion.

In your profile you have: "Kids, kids home projects."

Clearly...your kids come first.

Best of luck to you. You are their father....fight the fight for them.

-K


"For every trip to the vet, there's a car ride.", Satchel Pooch.

"At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost." -- Tad...from Craig's List


Posts: 8487 | Registered: Oct 2004 | From: North Atlanta Burbs
Thelastknight
Member
Member # 21851
Default  Posted: 1:46 AM, May 14th (Tuesday)

The kids are in my care for 80 hours a week. I have a 72 hour a week visitation plan now. But as I stated the new parenting plan is scheduled to go to every other weekend. Just makes me sick. I have cared for the kids since they were 6 weeks old. I kind of feel like I have paid my dues and would love to continue to parent my children.


"Pain is weakness leaving the body"

Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2


Posts: 951 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: NW
stronger08
Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 3:58 AM, May 14th (Tuesday)

You would think 50/50 should be allotted on a regular basis. But trust me it certainly is not. I petitioned for 50/50 and was awarded standard visitation. And the reason the court decided that was because of the long hours I was working. And the long hours were dictated by the amount of CS I had to pay. I was in a lose lose situation. There is certainly a bias present when visitation is considered by the court. And trust me mt XWW used it all to her advantage.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5589 | Registered: Nov 2007
Dreamboat
Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 5:41 AM, May 14th (Tuesday)

You currently have the kids almost 50% of the week. If I were you I would fight to keep that same amount of visitation. Make sure you have all of your documentation in order to show that you are currently a very involved parent and you want to stay involved.

Good luck


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17605 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
LadyQ
Member
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, May 14th (Tuesday)

I would also encourage you to go for 50/50, as long as there are no ill-effects on the kids. Do they handle the changes well now? My x didn't ask for 50/50, and I'm glad he didn't. The wee one has a hard time with the transitions, and nearly always has a tearful and troubled day at school the Monday following weekends with dad. The older two are teenagers, and other than not wanting to lose time with friends and SO's (for anyone's sake, not just dad), they do OK.

Best of luck!


Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
Thelastknight
Member
Member # 21851
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Kids are adjusted well. With the current schedule the kids are doing fine. Doing awesome in school, respectful and overall in good spirits. This has been the schedule since birth. I care for them during the day.


"Pain is weakness leaving the body"

Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2


Posts: 951 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: NW
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Can you have your last post mentioned in the material you submit to L's and court? One thing I'm fighting for as the mom is any kind of sameness for DD that I can continue. Her life is in such shambles from being abandoned and the A that it's mega-important to continue what I can of her schedules.

FWIW, we had a mediation meeting and they wanted to plan an entire year's visits with the standard every-other-weekend stuff. Well, no one but the mom (me) took into account the feelins of the kid, who is in pre-puberty age, very messed up and doesn't trust STBXH-her words.

The meeting became useless to try to reason with STBXH there because of his L, so later on I did contact him and mention some promises he broke with that request. I appreciate the uninterrupted time idea, but other factors come in that he or the other L didn't consider on DD's own behalf.

It was sad to see it become about STBXH more than DD herself, who it was all about, if you ask me.

I wish you well, LK and hope it works out the way you want...especially if you are the BS who stuck with the rules, routines, boundaries and such while the spouse snuck off, as in our case, and now is stomping his feet demanding rights.

How could someone who abandoned his only child several times think that his BS would just quietly submit and be able to trust?


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2187 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, May 14th (Tuesday)

I've always been sad about some of the legal standard things we have, because the law doesn't know a person or their life or what's happened to bring them there-the law can only really hope to ever know documentation and statistics about a real, live person, adult or kid, and so especially if it's children, a complete and nearly robotic stranger has a large say in what happens for a large part of their lives.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2187 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Thelastknight
Member
Member # 21851
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Im hoping the ex realizes the how important it is for the kids. However, there are some drawback to the standards for her as well.


"Pain is weakness leaving the body"

Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2


Posts: 951 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: NW
ideservebetter45
Member
Member # 36951
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, May 14th (Tuesday)

and so especially if it's children, a complete and nearly robotic stranger has a large say in what happens for a large part of theiI've always been sad about some of the legal standard things we have, because the law doesn't know a person or their life or what's happened to bring them there-the law can only really hope to ever know documentation and statistics about a real, live person, adult or kid,r lives.
I AGREE 100%

Posts: 149 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: ideservebetter45
Topic Posts: 13