Off Topic
User Topic: Ed's, kids and violence
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, May 13th (Monday)

Ok, brief back story. My exH is a very angry man. He has been for a long time and it is getting progressively worse. After almost 9 years together, I left. He NEVER hit me, but I was worried that he would someday. We were a volatile mix. We have a young daughter -5 now. He is re-married. His new wife has 3 older kids - 13, 11, 8 and they have one on the way. I have witnessed them punishing the older kids with push-up and running. My wxH runs behind smacking the kid on the butt and yelling (usually obscenities) at whoever is running. My daughter tells me that her dad yells a lot and that he punched a hole in the wall after a fight with his new wife (he did that once with me too). Yesterday, though, my daughter told me that his new wife threatened to call the cops and have her dad arrested if he didn't start respecting her kids. After a few questions, I found out that he pushed the 13 yr old into the door twice and then threw him on the floor. The police will be going by probably today to do a child welfare check. I know that keeping those kids safe (and starting a paper trail in case I have to go to court over custody) was the right thing to do, but I'm so worried about the fall out. My name is nowhere on the report, but I know my exH and his wife will assume I made the call. Don't know if I really have a question, just needed to share with someone and since my H is busy at work out of state, you're the lucky ones.

Posts: 1108 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, May 13th (Monday)

I'm a mandatory reporter and it sucks every single time I have to make a report. Just know that you did the right thing. Your daughter is calling out for help and she may be acting as a voice for the others as well. Your ex sounds like a disturbed man.

Posts: 1735 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, May 13th (Monday)

(((HUGS))) to you and all the children effected. You did the right thing.

Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, May 13th (Monday)

I think you did a very brave thing.


Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.

Posts: 13809 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, May 13th (Monday)

You did the right thing... you need to protect your DD and all of the kids.

Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24596 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, May 13th (Monday)

It took a lot of strength for your DD to tell you what was going on. You absolutely did the right thing by your daughter and the other children in that house.

Big hugs for you and DD.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25744 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, May 13th (Monday)

You just taught your daughter a valuable lesson.. that she is heard and when something isn't right someone will listen to her. I hope his new wife gets the good sense to protect her children with more than idle threats. For now, you've done the right thing for them

“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44966 | Registered: Sep 2006
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, May 13th (Monday)

I'm proud of you both! Stay safe!

Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.

Posts: 4693 | Registered: Oct 2007
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, May 13th (Monday)

Thanks for all the support. Before I stayed at home, I was a classroom teacher and, as such, obligated to call if there was even suspicion of abuse. It's always a little scary, but even worse when you know that the people being investigated will know it was you, and they know where you live. Plus, my H is out of town right now, so it's just me and the little boys until my daughter comes back. Then me and the three of them until my H gets home. However, I haven't even gotten an angry text yet, so maybe I'm ok.

Posts: 1108 | Registered: Jan 2013
Topic Posts: 9