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User Topic: My Intuition is Improving-a small vent too
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Target  Posted: 3:03 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

So I was suppose to go horseback riding on the beach this weekend with the neighbor guy. I was excited, I haven't been riding in years and the beach would be fantastic. We were going with several other riders.

Well today he tells me the plans have changed. No other people are going just us and he booked a hotel(1 room) that will board horses. HELL NO !! I just knew he was going to try something ! I knew it !

I've made it clear and told him directly, it's a friendship and won't be anything more than that.EVER ! I am not sleeping with him or anyone for just sex. Not happening, my emotions can't handle that since divorce and I not interested in ONS or FWB.
He brought flowers today! HELL NO ! Not happening. He pissed me off and I told him not to come to my house again.
How dare him.
Now I will have to do it myself because I really wanted to ride.
I knew in my gut he wasn't going to accept that I want just friendship and a riding partner. Gma's tuner is getting better. Two years ago, I would have went and been blindsided. I did good !
NEXT !


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20368 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)


Now he's calling my home office phone because he knows I wouldn't answer the cell.

He really doesn't want to hear what I have to say right now. Get a clue ! Sent both calls to VM.


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20368 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Dang. He's persistent! Hope you don't end up with a stalker next door, gma.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25073 | Registered: Aug 2011
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

I have male room mates and one is a body guard so I don't think I will have too many problems.
The other room mate gives him an evil eye when he was here, I haven't seen it but I'm sure he did it .
I also have an attorney that has been here often helping me with some legal papers. He's a family friend so the neighbor would be wise to back off.

gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20368 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Dang! What a drag!


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17341 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

He came over awhile ago and was so sorry he offended me. He apologized for reading my actions wrong. I don't think so idiot, I said it several times that it's friends only. WTH don't you understand idiot??
Uggggggghhh !
Yeah, no more wine at my house with me !


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20368 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
phmh
Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 6:24 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

I am only posting in hopes it may help you avoid a similar situation in the future, but your words and actions weren't matching up -- no wonder this guy was confused! Wine nights at your house, romantic horseback ride along the beach. You hear so many times (even here!) of people who wanted to be just friends and it turned into more. I can see why this guy might try to make a move if he liked you and was putting more stock in your actions than your words.

Especially if you told him you weren't interested in just a FWB or ONS, as his actions seem to indicate that he'd want an actual relationship, so he may have thought he was listening to your words as well.

I have found that pretty much any single, straight guy that's within 5 years younger or 20 years older than me thinks I'm interested in them just because I'm a nice person. I've had to be very careful with my actions around them to not give off the wrong impression.

Hope you enjoy your ride, even if the company is different that you originally anticipated!


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3318 | Registered: Dec 2011
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

romantic horseback ride along the beach

Not sure how a group ride that included gma and neighbor guy is 'romantic', but maybe that's just me?

Too bad gma, but good tuning


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2559 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

gma, I think you read this right. If he was confused and wanted to see if it could be more than friends then he should have told you that some plans changed, its just going to be us and I was thinking maybe we could make it an overnight and then ASK you how you would want to deal with the sleeping arangements. I would NEVER be so arrogant as to book a single hotel room for someone and then just tell them this is what I did. It's obvious what he was looking for.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3407 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

Wine nights at your house, romantic horseback ride along the beach
Wine evenings were with usually no less than 3 other people and never just the two of us. The house I live in has a spectacular front porch and the sunsets from it are breath taking. It was not every night or anything but a group of neighbors/friends casual talking and enjoying the scenery. It was never on my private deck.

The ride on the beach was again with a group of horse riders for the day. They cancelled and he took upon himself to assume an over night would be good.

He had asked me out several times but I refused. I told him I wasn't interested in anything romantic. He's a great guy, very good looking. and fun but he crossed my boundaries that he was fully aware of.

I would NEVER be so arrogant as to book a single hotel room for someone and then just tell them this is what I did. It's obvious what he was looking for.
Exactly ! I found his actions very arrogant and told him so. He knows some of my past history. I'm divorced from one arrogant FT and certainly have my radar on if anything feels similar. His booking the room felt exactly what FT would have done in the beginning of our relationship. If neighbor and I had already a relationship, I would have been thrilled and packed. I've never kissed or hugged this man so I'm not going to be sleeping with him. Maybe I missed the love of my life but I doubt it.

So another neighbor couple ride with handicap kids and their families once a month and their next ride is at the beach. I'm booked to go in June or July! WooHoo.

[This message edited by gma56 at 10:04 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)]


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20368 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
Topic Posts: 10