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User Topic: Gut instinct
gardenparty
Member
Member # 12050
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Possible TMI here but I have to say this somewhere. My SO went away for the weekend, he coaches lacrosse for a travelling team so that part was legit. Sunday when he got home we started to fool around and I caught a bad smell when I went down on him. I know what HE smells like, I know what I smell like and this was neither. He swears that he didn't cheat and I want to believe him but what the frig else could it be? I have been frozen since Sunday night, sleep walking through my days looking for ANY possible explanation for the wrong smell. Please SI family give me hope or the truth.


divorced!

Posts: 2712 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: newfoundland
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Could it be a bad hygiene thing?

((((gardenparty))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25765 | Registered: Aug 2011
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

(((garden)))

I was thinking the samething as Nik.


Posts: 35919 | Registered: Mar 2011
gardenparty
Member
Member # 12050
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

We both work very physical jobs. I know what he smells like after work or after practice and that wasn't it.


divorced!

Posts: 2712 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: newfoundland
roughroadahead
Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Infection along the jock itch line of things?


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
ImNellNow
Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

I hate to be the voice of doom, but when Daffy was banging the sugartwat fairy, I remember thinking that afterglow had a pretty vile smell. In fact, that was one of the first signs. I didn't even know it was possible! Color me naive...

That said, have you noticed anything else off? Or a repeat of The Smell? I wouldn't rule out something medical or even something he ate... but it would bother me.

I'm sorry! I hope I'm just being a big ol' sexual Eeyore.


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

There is also the aspect of just what you referenced, your gut instinct. I'm one who tends to lend some credibility to that, and I'm far from a doomsayer.

So, if you do trust your instincts, how do you proceed?


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4611 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
nolight
Member
Member # 32785
Default  Posted: 6:05 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

Hmm I don't know there could be many different explanations. Have you tried googling it?!

Posts: 516 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Hawaii
broken2
Member
Member # 16935
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

I'm a real believer in gut instincts, it's your sixth sense. Listen to it!!! Your instincts are telling you something, now you need to further investigate. I'm sorry you're having to go through this gardenparty.

Posts: 2041 | Registered: Nov 2007
cryingdaily
Member
Member # 7276
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

This is a tough one. Can you go into PI mode for a bit?

I think that's what I would do.

With no "real" evidence, I'd be afraid of looking paranoid and like I was bringing old baggage into the new R.

And honestly, there is a chance that this is nothing.

OTOH, I will never ignore my gut again.

Can you lay low and do some checking?


Me: BS 48
Him: Doesn't matter any more.
The Royal Court, formerly known as the Princess Posse:
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DD23 - Xena
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Posts: 14400 | Registered: Jun 2005 | From: Massachusetts
gardenparty
Member
Member # 12050
Default  Posted: 6:29 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

The smell was wrong. I am not put off by bad odors, am a plumber by trade but it was a rotten fish kind of smell.

I had not noticed anything else off but his behaviour is a bit different. I put it down to us both being so busy.

I don't want to be paranoid and the thought of having to dig for info again makes me sick but I have a bad feeling.


divorced!

Posts: 2712 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: newfoundland
kernel
Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

The smell was wrong. I am not put off by bad odors, am a plumber by trade but it was a rotten fish kind of smell.
I had not noticed anything else off but his behaviour is a bit different. I put it down to us both being so busy.

I don't want to be paranoid and the thought of having to dig for info again makes me sick but I have a bad feeling.

Oh sweetie, just read this as if someone else had written it. You know something is up. Now you have to decide what to do about it. Seek out more information? Ignore it and hope for the best?

TMI HERE. That nasty fishy smell definitely is a red flag, IMO. I had that smell when I had a vaginal infection - most likely from OW, via X. Gross.

I'm sorry gardenparty, but I feel like I had to tell you. ((garden))

[This message edited by kernel at 7:27 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)]


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5297 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
TheHardWay
Member
Member # 4342
Default  Posted: 9:36 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

Okay, not trying to be gross or TMI here either, BUT did the two of you have sex prior to his leaving? Did he shower afterwards? Uhhh...could be if he didn't, and THEN didn't shower over the weekend or when he got home that ah, stuff kinda, intensified. Sometimes if you have an infection, *you* don't smell it until sexual intercourse (unless it gets BAD!). Per my gyn - AND BV is not necessarily a STD.

That being said, I am a total believe in gut instinct - if hes not talking - then I guess you need to go into PI mode.


F-BS 43
DS 24 DS 20
Seperated 2001; Divorced 2003
Remarried to a wonderful man 2008

Posts: 7915 | Registered: May 2004 | From: The Sunshine State
stretch13
Member
Member # 26894
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

i smelled "that smell" on my BFF's STBXWH's face. i hadn't seen her in a long time and he stayed out most of the night because he "read the schedule wrong and missed the last train." it was the eve of her birthday. when i hugged him goodbye the next morning after not seeing him for years, he flinched a little and pulled back...i hugged him anyway because not doing that would have been weirder. then i almost gagged.

i drove the 5 hours home with a big, rotten ball in my throat and belly. he left her a week later to move in with the twatwaffle. he abandoned my friend and their two tiny daughters 1 & 3.

i triggered on your post...went right back to her living room last september.

good luck and i'm sorry that you even have to think about this. (((((gardenparty)))))


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Posts: 3929 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: east coast
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

Ugh. Sorry you are going through this.

I don't think most infections smell "fishy," so something is definitely "fishy," and I would say to trust your instinct as well.

I know PI mode isn't fun, but I think you should just to protect yourself..

((gardenparty))


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
TheHardWay
Member
Member # 4342
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

BV (bacterial vaginitis) DOES have a fishy smell - and like I said, you don't usually smell (meaning, your not gonna smell yourself). The smell is more apparent AFTER sexual intercourse.

DOESNT change the fact that he came home smelling funky UNLESS you had sex prior to his leaving AND he didn't shower all weekend AND he didn't shower upon return. ALSO, doesn't mean YOU have anything - just that with heat and time and clothing, smells change.


F-BS 43
DS 24 DS 20
Seperated 2001; Divorced 2003
Remarried to a wonderful man 2008

Posts: 7915 | Registered: May 2004 | From: The Sunshine State
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

I think I was assuming she went down on him before they had sex, so the type of infections he could have wouldn't smell fishy, like jock itch or whatever, but I'm no expert..

I get really frustrated with myself when I think of all the red flags I missed, so even if it's nothing, I would still want to PI for a bit for peace of mind..


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
NeverAgain2013
Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, May 16th (Thursday)

Ugh. A rotten fishy smell doesn't really occur on men unless they have a lot of foreskin and/or are not circumsized - then sometimes if they're not thorough, it's pretty rank.

If this is not (and never has) been the case for him, my radar would be going through the roof. Sounds as though he had some kind of quickie and zipped up quick to get on the road, not bothering to wash off.

Ugh. Sorry.

ETA: And TheHardWay is correct - Bacterial Vaginosis DOES have a horrible fishy odor due to the presence of more 'bad' bacteria than good in the vagina. I really hope he didn't bring something like that home to you.

[This message edited by NeverAgain2013 at 3:17 PM, May 16th (Thursday)]


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1819 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 18