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Reconciliation
User Topic: She looks like her and I got mad
LA44
Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

So, tonight we went out to a local restaurant with the kids to get a quick bite. An acquantaince - Mary - comes in. She at least resembles the affair person. My H reports that only the hair is the same. I REALLY disagree.

We are finished eating and ready to go. We have two seperate cars. My H has to go to the bank so he asks if I will take the boys with me. Fine. Sounds good. I am bending down to get my purse thinking we will then say our goodbyes when he is up and over at Mary's table saying, "hi". Keep in mind that we all greeted each other when she entered. Also, my H knows I think she looks like the affair person. I expressed this a few months ago.

There was no goodbye or peck on the cheek or see you in a few minutues, hon. He just got up and went to her table.

When he got home, I expressed anger that he disregarded me and instead made a beeline to her. I suggested to him that he might want to delve into his subconscious a little more closely. Given Mary's appearance, I am sure I am not "off" about this.

He swears up and down that he just wanted to say hi. We said hi. And that he had to use the bathroom. It's not at that end of the restaurant.

Come on, hon! I expressed. Dig a little more!

[This message edited by LA44 at 8:06 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)]


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2102 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Rebreather
Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Agreed.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6274 | Registered: Jan 2011
SecondHelping
Member
Member # 36796
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

DD11 plays Little League baseball and one of the coaches on a opposing team looks just like fWWs OM. I've told her but she also disagrees.

I feel for you about this because it's a constant trigger.

My fWW is great about this. Whenever we play against them she is there to console me. I've been able to disregard him most of the time, but when he comes out on the field, I lose it. She senses this and consoles me. Thanks fWW.


D-Day 1: Feb 1990 (2 yrs into M, kissing and a hickey)
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/3 week PA)
BS 49- Me, fWW 43- Her (Amibroken)
OP- Deputy Chief of Police from the town next to us! (Age 37)
Married 25 Years, Together 28
3 Kids (17, 14, 11)

Posts: 478 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Delmarva
LA44
Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

And funny he said, "You know, I think this about you triggering."Well, yeah! But at the same time can you just acknowledge me before you leave the table? And when you leave it for someone that looks like the affair person how do you think I am going to feel?

Having said that, I don't expect him to ignore Mary - but I do expect him to show some common sense with me when Mary is around! And whether I am around or not, I do expect him to keep the resemblance in mind and to pay attention to his behaviour.


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2102 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Topic Posts: 4