SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: He moves out, one month later he's going to be a daddy.
Douchebagfree
Member
Member # 39267
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Hi
I'm new here. My life fell apart 6 months ago when my perfect husband told me he wanted a divorce because he didn't love me anymore and had to find his own happiness. What that translated to is, he's in love with a 22 year old who started working with him 2 weeks prior to him asking for a divorce. She was pregnant 1 month after I asked him to move out. She's his soul mate who saved him from a terrible marriage and a cold hearted wife. I think this makes her soulmate number 3. Spent the first month in a daze until I realized he's a passive aggressive all the way. Good luck sweetie. Our house has finally sold which means I can finally have some peace. It took this genius 6 months just to do up a separation agreement. When he finally dropped it off, I noticed that the date we got married was wrong, handed it back to him and said that I wasn't signing it. He finally fixes it a week later and drops it off on a Friday. By Tuesday, he's texting me asking when I was going to the notary. I told him I was going on Saturday, which I did. Today, he texts me again and asks if I went. Wtf. Which part did he not understand. Since I've realized that he's PA, I keep contact to a minimum.
Is it foolish of me to expect him to just go away once this business with the house is settled?


Sometimes you have to stand alone, just to make sure you still can.

Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Canada
Jospehine85
Member
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

The soulmate must be due very soon and he is expected to be divorced and married to her before the child is born.



Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 811 | Registered: Jun 2012
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

I have no idea WHAT the guy will do.......

.....but I laughed for a good 5 minutes after seeing your username. And then reading your 'Good luck sweetie' made me LMAO some more.

Even if he does continue to attempt to contact you after the house business is settled, I predict that you'll handle the guy juuuussstt fine.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7694 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
bigpicture3236
Member
Member # 27861
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

I am going to guess he will have his hands full until this fantasy blows up in his face, then he will come running back to you looking for a shoulder to cry on.
You, like most of us, are lucky to be free of him. Amazing how many men office whores easily ruin.


If you love something and hurt it dearly, then chose not to fix it...you never deserved it in the first place.

Posts: 3603 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Michigan
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

The soulmate must be due very soon and he is expected to be divorced and married to her before the child is born.

^^^This


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4682 | Registered: Feb 2008
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:33 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Let's get back to your question:
Is it foolish of me to expect him to just go away once this business with the house is settled?

I don't know the answer to that. First, do you have an attorney to protect your interest? Second, do you believe the "separation agreement" adequately protects you?

I think all of his motivations are beyond disgusting, but, at this point, you need to focus on what needs to happen for YOU, what exactly is in YOUR best interest. Period.

Keep your eye on the ball my friend. ((Hugs))


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4374 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
movingforward13
Member
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

I love your bitch boots. You are so damn strong. Please send some of that strength over here. FUCK THAT GUY!


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 636 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
movingforward13
Member
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

And no, he won't go away.... Oddly enough, he is going to miss you. When the baby starts crying, when his new lurrveeeee is getting on his nerves, when everything isn't right in that world. He is going to miss you and contact you. He will regret what he did... (Knocked up a 22 year old, really). Give it 6 months after the baby is born, you may see him on your door step. Move if you can, change your number, block him on Facebook and let his ass stay in that mess he created. FUCK THAT GUY.

[This message edited by movingforward13 at 11:55 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)]


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 636 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

'k...coupla things.

First: User Name - FREAKING AWESOME!!!

Secondly: You sound very well focused, especially dealing with the PA type. He goes P, you go A; he goes A, you go P.

Brilliant!

Yeah, I kind of see how this will go.

When Ms. Barely Legal delivers the Soulmate Baby, his head is going to snap off. Trust me. Be prepared for him campaigning for you to be his soft place to land.

Close the airport.

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Douchebagfree
Member
Member # 39267
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

Ladies, your replies have made my day. Thank you so much.
Jospehine85 - jokes on him I guess. She's due in Sept and we can't even file until November.
Bigpicture3236 - it really is amazing. Took him all of 2 weeks to throw away 8 years. But hey, when you meet your soulmate .....
Persevere - I do have a good attorney. His on the other hand sends him emails that pertain to someone else's case. Brilliant!
Movingforward13 - Bitch Boots! Love it. Made me laugh out loud at work, and I take all the laughs I can get these days. Sending equally fabulous bitch boots your way. Stay strong. I really hope he just disapears but I'm not foolish anymore. I know he'll pop up when I least expect him to. Kind of like a zit!
Ajsmom - Didn't take me long to think of the username, lol.I've learned more about him in the past 6 months then I have the past 8 years. At first his behavior made my head spin but now I can easily predict what he's going to say or do and that to me is pricelss right now.Love your airport comment. It'll definitely stay closed :)

He texted me today telling me that he changed job's because of a change in policy. What might that be? Though shall not fuck around with barely legal co-workers! Thanks tips but I really don't give a shit. I just told him to make sure the money was transfered over for bills. I also don't care where he is going to end up working but apparently he felt the need to share that as well. The house will be gone in 1 month but I swear to god I'm going to have a lot more grey hairs by the time it's done.


Sometimes you have to stand alone, just to make sure you still can.

Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Canada
Bravenewgirl
Member
Member # 36267
Default  Posted: 5:06 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

Free,

first of all big hugs (((((((((((free))))))

Your STBWX is in for a horrific wake up call when his "soulmate"'s glitter packed vagina starts shitting out a baby instead of strawberry scented unicorn farts.

You have displayed amazing strength, although I am sure you have gone through seven levels of hell to get to where you are now.

Brace yourself for him to coming sniffing around you again when the fantasy life falls apart. Right now his HOLEMATE is propping up his ego, making him feel like the most desirable man on earth, and generally being a huge sweetie pie. Think of her of a giant walking, talking vagina that whispers sweet nothings to his dong.

The big vagina is about to turn into an exhausted mother with a known cheater for a partner.

Everything changes when you start doing real life with Ms. Fantasyland. She will either never trust him and keep him on a short leash, or decide that doing family life so young, is like, not so totally awesome after all, and will dump the baby on him to go party with her friends.

Be ready, and stay strong.

If you don't have kids together, then complete and total no contact with the douche is your best bet for healing and your ticket to a brand new, totally douche free life.

Keep posting here. We will walk you though it.


Don't come around here no more
-Tom Petty

Posts: 661 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Canada
movingforward13
Member
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

Complete total no contact if you guys have no kids together. He left you for a 22 year old and knocked her up. Change your number after all of the marriage bull shit is settled. He is a fucktard but he will learn today.


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 636 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
movingforward13
Member
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

And don't disappear, stay with us. Tell us how you are doing. I will be looking for your posts.


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 636 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
Douchebagfree
Member
Member # 39267
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, May 16th (Thursday)

Bravenewgirl - Your comment about about her Glitter packed vagina made me laugh soooo hard. Thanks :)
You're right about the seven levels of hell cause that's exactly what it felt like. The first month was the worst. I was depressed, I blamed myself for loosing such a gem. Then I decided to go and see a therapist (highly recommended). At that point, I had nothing to loose. This woman saved my life when she told me to do some research about passive agressive people. All of a sudden, EVERYTHING made sense.
Movingforward13 - I am definitely sticking to the no contact rule with this one. I try to keep my replies to a 5 word minimum :) Sometimes I don't reply at all if I feel like his text messages don't require a reply. I really hope that once the house is gone, he will stop texting me all together, until we file.I'm still worried that until we're legally divorced he could ttry and screw me over but there's not much I can do about that, EXCEPT ....
Through some cleverness on my part, I was able to get access to his text messages. For a whole month I got to see their love unfold. From the lovely nicknames he used to call me, to the poetry he wrote her (pretty sure he copied it from the internet), to the money I found out he spent on her and so on ......
It was hard to read these things at first but then it became my entertainment for the evening. It's amazing that everything he said and did for his new love are the exact same way that our relationship unfolded. I guess a leopard never changes his stripes.
I have not used this information against him but rather have kept quiet.
So this is my amo, just in case I need it. I'm sure he wouldn't want everyone to read all of the sexually explicit things they were texting back and forth :)


Sometimes you have to stand alone, just to make sure you still can.

Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Canada
Linus1968
Member
Member # 31243
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, May 16th (Thursday)

As a few of you said, and as I said before in other post...the fluffy rainbow unicorn life will gallop out of site as late night feelings will come up, when the baby throws up on both of them at an outing and soon smell like sour milk, or they will fight who will clean up the diaper explosion that ends up in the child's onesie.

Reality...what a concept...

And you are right, answer only about children and money.

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

[This message edited by Linus1968 at 9:24 PM, May 16th (Thursday)]


Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 15, D:14
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

Posts: 236 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Hell, and my X is the mayor (FL)
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, May 17th (Friday)

BTDT! Ex-shat knocked up his 20 year old stripper whore and a couple months after the baby was born, he had kicked her out and sent me an email about how I'd always be the mother of his child blah blah fucking blah. Within 24 hrs of me sending the cock-block email he was asking stripper whore to move back in.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4546 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Douchebagfree
Member
Member # 39267
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, May 18th (Saturday)

Wait just a minute. Are you ladies actually implying that this glittery land of rainbows and unicorns does not exist? How can that be? He's living in it
Things probably seem rosy now because he's living with his parents and the pregnant teeny bopper lives with her parents.
He couldn't even manage to save up any money in the past few months to pay his lawyer but he's now on his second brand new vehicle in less than 4 months.
This land really does sounds magical!


Sometimes you have to stand alone, just to make sure you still can.

Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Canada
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, May 18th (Saturday)


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17132 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 18