New Beginnings
User Topic: Old Help
Member # 28573
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Ok wise folks of SI help me out. Been talking with this woman on OLD for a while. The conversation has been really good, we seem to have a lot in common and so on. So I decided that I wanted to take the next step and maybe talk or text with the hope of it leading to a meet. So I send her my number and personal email address. She said thanks but just keeps emailing me via the match mail. So I am kind of scratching my head here. Maybe she is just nervous or not sure or something but she has made no mention of that to me and just continues to chat away via email, basically sending me 1 per day always at the same time every night (probably right before she goes to bed).

So am I just a diversion or something?
Input needed.

M 28 years
D 3/2011

Posts: 378 | Registered: May 2010
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

If she's not responding to your effort, I would recommend you move on. If she responds later, you can make the call then. Otherwise, I would not limit your efforts. There are plenty of other opportunities out there.

Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Posts: 4607 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Member # 28573
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Well she is responding a little, I am just trying to understand her "little" response

M 28 years
D 3/2011

Posts: 378 | Registered: May 2010
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 1:29 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

She may not want you to have her personal information yet. Maybe she's dealt with creeps already. If she emails or calls you, you will have access to her personal email and phone number via caller id.

You could suggest she use the *67 feature on her phone to block her number.

BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
Member # 35695
Default  Posted: 2:52 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

Id just say to her pretty much what you told us....

" Hi whats your name the conversation has been really good, we seem to have a lot in common.I'd like to take things to the next step, maybe talk or text with the hope of it leading to a meeting. Thats why I gave you my contact details, how do you feel about that?"

... or something to that effect then you should know where you stand, a much better way to start than trying to guess

Me:BW 46, Him:WH 50
two kids DD14 and DS17
Married 26 years
OW 28, crew member (he was the ships captain)
"People are formed by their actions, not their ideals" unknown

Posts: 471 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 5:29 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

She may not want you to have her personal information yet.

I think this is what it is. I've dealt with a lot of jerks and am still very hesitant about giving out my phone number or email. She might still be feeling you out to make sure you won't go "porno weird" on her when you talk via phone, text, or email. I've had really seemingly nice guys change in the blink of an eye before....

I do like the *67 idea though! That would eliminate that fear if she has it! If she doesn't go for that, then I agree you should probably move on....unless you like having a nighttime chat buddy?

"Sometimes your knight in shining armor just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12

Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 6:26 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

What MyVoice said. Why are you speculating? Just ask.

But the other point, if just emailing is too long a lead up time for you, then start looking elsewhere. It's easy to invest yourself emotionally based on emailing back and forth. But until you actually talk with and then meet someone, you'll never know for sure if that compatibility is for real.

"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3122 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Member # 28573
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

Thanks for the help. I guess I'm a simplton with OLD. I just figured if I gave her my info that she would a) give me hers or b) tell me shes not ready to do that from her end yet.

Thats why I have not asked yet.
Plus the fact that every email is sent at the same time every night just strikes me as odd a little. Others bombard me with emails once we start talking (actually too much the other way) so I am still trying to figure out the game a little I guess.

Thanks everyone for your input.

M 28 years
D 3/2011

Posts: 378 | Registered: May 2010
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

Same time every night not ever deviating.. would send a red flag up for me.

My XH carried his online liaisons this way.

What is her life like? kids? working a couple of jobs? etc.. that she doesn't have time to get to her personal stuff till just before bed.

I was like that when I first started dating.. 4 kids, 2 animals work and lost of kid activities made it impossible to talk till after the kids were in bed, kitchen cleaned, laundry started, lunches made...etc. BUTWhen the kids were away at XH's I had lots of time to devote to whatever I wanted.

If communication has been going on for awhile and it has never deviated.. YES I would be suspicious.



I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 28573
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)


This is why red flags are starting to wave.

No kids at home.
One job that I know of.
A busy life but no busier than anyone elses.

Seems nice and normal enough but then again there are Masters of Deception out there.

So I am thinking now I will play along with this a few more days and just see if there is any change.
If not I will move on.

M 28 years
D 3/2011

Posts: 378 | Registered: May 2010
little turtle
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

I thought this was going to be about old people.

My guess is that she isn't interested in meeting you. She probably enjoys emailing with you, but that's it. Only way to know for sure is to ask her what she's thinking!

Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4202 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Topic Posts: 11