SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
New Beginnings
User Topic: NB.2
tabitha95
Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

SO and I ended things today. We need to both figure some things out. I have been feeling forgotten and a non-priority to him(see other post) and it sets off all sorts of insecurities in me. I guess when I checked his phone about a month ago, which I never considered doing before, it made me feel horrible and sort of marked the end of things. Nothing was there, but still...that I thought I should look confirmed that I wasn't feeling secure.

His friend told me that he treats me better than any woman he has ever been involved with...and that was a big deal for him. Made me sad, because I'm not sure he treats me that great.

Anyway...I was sadder than I thought I would be after yesterday. Once it was official and we apologized to each other, it really broke my heart.

On to NB version 2. This time I need to figure some things out alone...which I should have done the first time.

[This message edited by tabitha95 at 5:53 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)]


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

(((tabitha95)))


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17917 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
cayc
Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

It will be okay. 2.0 is always better than the beta version.

((((tabitha 95)))


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3126 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

(((tabitha)))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25850 | Registered: Aug 2011
tabitha95
Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

This one is more of an uncertain feeling. With EX WH, d-day #2 was a deal-breaker.

I was married for almost 16 years and with him for a few years more. I'm not used to going through guys.

I guess it was the right thing...but I second guess myself. I keep thinking of what made me unhappy and how that overweighed what made me happy.

[This message edited by tabitha95 at 7:39 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)]


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
CheaterMagnet
Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

Hang in there sweetie. It is hard. But Cayc is right. 2.0 is always better than beta.

(((((HUGS)))))


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1039 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

(((tabitha95)))


Posts: 36058 | Registered: Mar 2011
InnerLight
Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

Sorry to hear of your break up. It is a hard thing and there are definite withdrawal symptoms that cause a person to second guess themselves, but it sounds like you did the right thing. An hour long bus ride is really not that long when you want to see the woman you care about.

Take extra good care of yourself. Plan time with friends for fun. Schedule a massage. Do something you like to do that you've been putting off.


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. Now I am living alone in the beautiful rural property that was once the dream retreat with X. It's taking a long time to create new dreams but despite some struggles I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5872 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
Spirit13
Member
Member # 31758
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

sorry tabitha..... take care of yourself.


Men were deceivers ever; one foot in sea and one on shore, to one thing constant never.

Posts: 620 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Midwest
wonderingbull
Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

For a while you'll second guess yourself and have conversations in your head about this or that... It will quiet down with some distance and time...

First things first... Put you first and get used to your new normal...

Take care...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5984 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
SoHappyNow
Member
Member # 8923
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

((((tabitha95))))


In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer..Albert Camus

***Used to be hit-by-a-train***
Remarried 2/14/14


Posts: 2297 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: USA
NaiveAgain
Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, May 16th (Thursday)

(((tabitha)))


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15303 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, May 16th (Thursday)

Take of you (((tabitha)))


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4632 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 13